yettamae’s BodyBlog

Ugh has this been a hell of a week. I have been still working out to the tapes. I am just hating the way I look now. I just look so bulky and fat. Once I get back into the gym I am going to stop the two speciality leg days and I might bump up lifting in 15 rep range back to 20. My legs grew half an inch, particularly my quads. I can tell because I can’t fit into any of my shorts and pants. When I was 120 last year I fit in them fine. My quads were 20.5, now they are 21.5! My hips even grew an inch last year it was 33 inchs , now it is 34! Guess incorporating the butt blaster did blast my butt in a Beyounce one! My hubby’s not complaining, but I am dammit! I wish my upper body grew like my legs did! X(So I will have to take a step back and do a total leg workout with emphasis on hamstring and glute area,since my quads are developed. I might devote a day to shoulders. I am going to up my cardio to 4 20 min sessions a week. I am also going to try and start making a a log of my diet. It has been shitty lately with the lack of food in the house and time to go to the store. I am getting stressed and depressed about looking a mess.

This is an rough draft of my workout once I get my fat ass settled and find a gym:

Legs & abs cardio
Chest & Back, cardio
Triceps & Biceps, cardio
Shoulders & abs, cardio

I am so fed up. I feel like I am getting fatter everyday. I still havent got my period yet. I get cramping like I am going to get it but nothing. Stress could be the culprit, too. I am stressed about getting fat in school because I was fat and yo-yod for 8 years while I was in school. I am stress eater, which isn’t good. If I know it’s there my ass is all over it! Another stress is that I am afraid of the unknown with school and this move to Florida. I am never going to live Philadelphia again. I won’t be able to visit my home. Some stranger is going to be living in it or tearing it down and all the memories will be gone forever. I won’t see my dad again. He’s pushing 90 and this may be the last time. Even though we did have much of a relationship, things started to happen after my mother died. My voice is starting to really do a 360 and now I won’t have my teacher anymore. My teacher told me I am going to Florida to network, not to learn how to sing because now I am. I am just scared of putting my trust in another teacher for the fear thet may **** me up like at Temple. My husband will most likely not going with me to Florida, until he gets an official transfer which sucks. Can’t you see how stressed I am. My cortisol levels are probably high, which is probably part of my weight gain on top of my binges with my husband over the stress of the move.

Ugh I need to stop obessing and get a grip on myself. I have been making myself sick because I want to continue to look good and I am not. I need to stop obessing about my ass still not being able to fit into a size 0 and accept that I am still wearing junior sizes just an up grade to a 2-3. I just need to relax, but I can’t. I haven’t been able to sleep and have been trying to think of drastic ways just to lose 5 pounds, so I can’t look and feel like a whale. What the **** is wrong with me? Why do I have be tortured with this horrible obession? Going to Florida doesn’t make it any better. Everyone in Tampa is practically skinny and hot! Don’t even get me started on the implants. Why the **** so I care I have a man, right? Well I guess in the back of my head I am still afraid he will fine them more attractive then me, especially since I seem to be packing on the pounds pretty fast now.

I sometimes wish I was one of those normal skinny chicks that don’t have to do a thing and still be skinny. Maybe I just to need to realize that I will never be that skinny unless I just starving myself, but I refuse to lose all the hard muscle that I worked so hard to build. I just wish I could find a happy medium: being confident and loving myself, instead of being so hard on myself to the point where I beat myself up and get discouraged.. My husband loves me for me even when I am fat, so **** can’t I? God give me strength to get through this. I have been through things that were far worse that this. I want to enjoy life and work on my craft, but not have this little cloud of despair hanging over my head. Make this stop!!!

I am taking the judges advice from my national show and do more body exercises for my legs. Doing too many machines jacked my legs and ass up to huge proportions. My calves didn’t grow thank God, but the size of my quads and ass concerns me. Since I won’t have my hubby as a spot I am not going to be doing bench presses at this time mostly dumbells and hammer strength machines.  I am upping my cardio because 2 20 mins of cardio for me isn’t going to work for my body type. I can store fat fast, even though I can pack on the muscle fast….cursed endo-mesomorph! Ugh…this on going battle sucks! After figuring out what execises work for me I came up with this plan. I wanted to try something different from the ordinary, but it didn’t work for me as I would have liked. But it’s all trial and error,right?

This is going to be my offseason plan.The plan is 8 week cycles. I will change an execise or two after the 8 weeks, but nothing drastic and see how my body adapts to the new changes. Hopefully positively! The plan is still the shape I want more size in my arms and a better V-taper, while trying to maintain my legs. If my legs don’t shrink then I may have to incorporate another leg day, which I rather not do because of time restrains with school. Will be able to start full blast once I get settled on campus in a week 1/2.

Offseason plan: 8 week cycle

Day 1

Legs

Barbell Squat 4 x 20
Stiff-legged deadlift 3 x 15
Stationary Lunges  3 x 15
Lying Leg Curl 3 x 15
Standing calves 3 x 20

Abs
Roman Chairs 3 x 20
Crunches 3 x 20

Cardio
Incline Treadmill Run,bicycle or elliptical 20 mins
Day 2

Chest
Hammer strength chest press 3 x 12
Hammer strength Incline chest press 3 x 12
Machine flyes 2 x 12

Back
Pulldowns 3 x 12
Seated cable rows 3 x 12
Hammer strength high rows 3 x 12
Dumbbell pullover 3 x 12
Low back extension 2 x 15

Cardio
Incline Treadmill Run,bicycle or elliptical 20 mins

Day 3
Triceps
Skull Crushers  3 x 10
Close-grip presses 3 x 10 
Triceps pressdown 3  x 10

Biceps
EZ bar curl 3 x 10
Dumbbell curl 3 x 10
Hammer curl 3 x 10

Cardio
Incline Treadmill Run,bicycle or elliptical 20 mins

Day 4
Shoulders
Smith machine press 4 x 10
Side Lateral raise 3 x 10
Rear delt machine  3 x 10
Abs

V Situps 3 x 20
Bicycles 3 x 20

Cardio
Incline Treadmill Run,bicycle or elliptical 20 mins
No supps change:

Offseason Supplements
Multivitamin (morning and afternoon)
Vitamins C + E (post)
Whey protein  (pre/ post)
BCAA (pre/ post)
Size On (during)
CLA (morning with multi)
Fish Oil (evening with multi)
Chromium Picolinate (with breakfeast on non training days/ on training days post workout)