yettamae’s BodyBlog

Graduate school auditions are finally over, so now I can focus on training for my two shows. Out of the 7 schools I applied to 4 rejected me. I sent in 3 pre-screenings and all 3 of them rejected me without even giving me a live audition. Hell what do I expect….I am applying to the best music schools in the world. They expect perfection and nothing this, which I am far from. I am a work in progress, but not polished…maybe one day:( I am so majorly depressed right now. If I do get in to any I will feel like such a failure. The school I really wanted to get into I gave the performance of my life. This was truely the best I ever sang and felt. I was confident as hell and wasn’t a nervous reck like I usually am and I didn’t even make the second round. I can say I did it with confidence and grace, though. How discouraging! I have been so drained these last couple of weeks with my new manager promotion that has been a blessing as well as a curse. Hiring as well as firing. Ugh! I have been sticking to my diet, but haven’t been able to get in the training time, which sucks. I feel fat and I think I look like shit right now. Yeah, my clothes and boobs are looking like pooh, but I am upset with the fact I have been such at 115 for like 2 or 3 weeks now! I was so depressed one day that I got the really bad urge to binge on shitty food at any of the nearest fast food joints near my house to make me feel better because I was so depressed, but I didn’t. I felt like dropping out of this show, but I am not a quitter. I am going to do this dammit! The Lord only puts us in obstacles that we can handle, so this is a test of my test of my strength and determination right now. I have been through worse things, this should be a piece of cake right? Don’t laugh…..I then I ask myself what would Rocky do in this situation? Think Eye of the Tiger….Eye of the Tiger.

9 weeks out. I finally got a good week of working out. Yay! I am down to 115 pounds and 16% bodyfat. Starting to see some nice changes in my back and upper and middle abs are starting to come in. The thighs are going to be last, like before, but’s all good. Man, talk about some serious DOMS. I love it though. It feels good to be back to training hardcore.

The stress off the last 3 weeks is somewhat lifted, now I can concentrate on getting my ass back in the gym. Even though I haven’t been in the gym because of certain conflicts that were out of my control I have still managed to stick to my diet. I am down to 115 pounds and my nutritionist told me that I was pretty much ahead of the game the way my body is looking right now. Last year I was 115 about 2-4 weeks out. This week I am going to ease back into the gym because my body is tired and I have been running around and stressed out way too much. It’s time to take a chill for a minute and recuparate. Then I will be hitting it hard full speed next week 6 days a cardio till show time. Lord, give me strength because I am so burnt out, right now.