Something found in the ashes
I recently found my old notebook workout journal that I kept prior to beginning a journal online, and one page in particular I wanna share. The following is exactly as the page appears.
Oct. 1, 2007 Bodyweight: 227lbs Bodyfat: 18%
As I prepare for the journey that lays ahead many thoughts race thru my mind. "Am I strong enough, physically and mentally to full fill my desires or will I fold under the pressure?"
"The Pressure"
For years I have desired this and attempted to achieve with great failure and disgust. In failing I placed blame instead of acceptance, blaming the trials and tribulations of life for my failure. At said time I believed these to truly be the reasons I failed, now looking back I realize my failure was my lack of desire and dedication, I showed no strength & honor.
The road I am preparing to walk is rough, but many before me have made it thru. I will now defeat my demons and full fill my desires. I have called it out loud and told everyone I know what I will do in the days, months and years to come. Failure will not be tolerated now or ever again.
"Trials and Tribulations"
Now more than ever before I am facing the trials and tribulations of life. I feel a heavy feeling on my chest making it difficult to breathe at times, and the weight of the world is on shoulders. Why will this time be different, why will I rise? The answer: the old Mike is dead, and a new life is born. Instead of dwelling on the trials, I use them to fuel my desires. I no longer cry over a love lost, a life lost… I get enraged as to increase my strength. I don’t get down over financial situations fore when I go to the gym, im clocking in and making my earning, this is my honor.
Sure the road ahead is rough, but I am my fathers son and he breed me rough and tough just as he is. Thru all adversities and all obstacles I will achieve a new level physically and mentally. With clouds come storms, after the heat settles the cold sets in and I will march on thru all, focused, dedicated, and full of desire. This is me creating life. STRENGTH & HONOR… (end of old journal entry)
You know I read this and I remember the day I wrote it, where I was sitting, what I was getting ready to do and what I was wearing. The emotions I felt at said time were so overwhelming that I just started writing and upon completion of this I felt better. It is now 11 months later and as I reflect I realize I am doing exactly what I told myself and others I would do. While my physical transformation is far from complete, I have made great strides towards these desires. Mentally I am stronger than ever, and for the first time in a long time I can say I love myself and who I am. Financially life has made a complete 360, while Im still cleaning up the mess that was created a year ago I can honestly invision true securtiy on the horizon. All I have achieved in the past year was a direct result of bodybuilding. This sport has given me not only physical strength but mental strength as well. My success’s are a direct result of my dedication and love for bodybuilding. When I look back over the past years progress pictures I am just amazed. I remember last Sept I truly thought I looked good and had a good physique, now I can’t believe I looked like that. The motivation to continue achieving is the past. People always say you have to forget the past and move on, forget that. Remember your past and use the negatives to propel you to greater levels. This life is short and before any of us know it we’ll be in our final decade of life looking back at our past, our legacies…what mark do you want to leave on the future generations of your family? I know what I want to and will leave on mine. The point of all this is that while people who are looking from the outside in believe us to be "meatheads" who are uncapable of possessing intelligence, but this is because they lack what we all have, desire and dedication. Achieve in bodybuilding and use the confidence you build in the gym to build a better life. STRENGTH & HONOR
August 31, 2008 at 5:53 am
WOW Mike! Extremely powerful words. You have found your true self and passion through your desire and dedication. You ave achieved so much in the past year. You should be extremely proud of yourself. I know I am proud of you! Thank you for sharing this. STRENGTH & HONOR
Hugs-Gab
September 1, 2008 at 1:27 am
Very moving words: profound writing. I identify with so much of it that at times I wonder if we have a parallel existence. I’m particularly impressed with your encouragement for people to learn from the past - including mistakes made - in order to have a brighter and improved future. It’s the cornerstone to my teaching philosophy.
As for the ‘meatheads’ comments - knowledge is one thing: intelligence and imagination are more important.