FireMike

I recently found my old notebook workout journal that I kept prior to beginning a journal online, and one page in particular I wanna share. The following is exactly as the page appears.

Oct. 1, 2007   Bodyweight: 227lbs    Bodyfat: 18%

As I prepare for the journey that lays ahead many thoughts race thru my mind. "Am I strong enough, physically and mentally to full fill my desires or will I fold under the pressure?"

"The Pressure"

For years I have desired this and attempted to achieve with great failure and disgust. In failing I placed blame instead of acceptance, blaming the trials and tribulations of life for my failure. At said time I believed these to truly be the reasons I failed, now looking back I realize my failure was my lack of desire and dedication, I showed no strength & honor.

The road I am preparing to walk is rough, but many before me have made it thru. I will now defeat my demons and full fill my desires. I have called it out loud and told everyone I know what I will do in the days, months and years to come. Failure will not be tolerated now or ever again.

"Trials and Tribulations"

Now more than ever before I am facing the trials and tribulations of life. I feel a heavy feeling on my chest making it difficult to breathe at times, and the weight of the world is on shoulders. Why will this time be different, why will I rise? The answer: the old Mike is dead, and a new life is born. Instead of dwelling on the trials, I use them to fuel my desires. I no longer cry over a love lost, a life lost… I get enraged as to increase my strength. I don’t get down over financial situations fore when I go to the gym, im clocking in and making my earning, this is my honor.

Sure the road ahead is rough, but I am my fathers son and he breed me rough and tough just as he is. Thru all adversities and all obstacles I will achieve a new level physically and mentally. With clouds come storms, after the heat settles the cold sets in and I will march on thru all, focused, dedicated, and full of desire. This is me creating life. STRENGTH & HONOR… (end of old journal entry)

 You know I read this and I remember the day I wrote it, where I was sitting, what I was getting ready to do and what I was wearing. The emotions I felt at said time were so overwhelming that I just started writing and upon completion of this I felt better. It is now 11 months later and as I reflect I realize I am doing exactly what I told myself and others I would do. While my physical transformation is far from complete, I have made great strides towards these desires. Mentally I am stronger than ever, and for the first time in a long time I can say I love myself and who I am. Financially life has made a complete 360, while Im still cleaning up the mess that was created a year ago I can honestly invision true securtiy on the horizon. All I have achieved in the past year was a direct result of bodybuilding. This sport has given me not only physical strength but mental strength as well. My success’s are a direct result of my dedication and love for bodybuilding. When I look back over the past years progress pictures I am just amazed. I remember last Sept I truly thought I looked good and had a good physique, now I can’t believe I looked like that. The motivation to continue achieving is the past. People always say you have to forget the past and move on, forget that. Remember your past and use the negatives to propel you to greater levels. This life is short and before any of us know it we’ll be in our final decade of life looking back at our past, our legacies…what mark do you want to leave on the future generations of your family? I know what I want to and will leave on mine. The point of all this is that while people who are looking from the outside in believe us to be "meatheads" who are uncapable of possessing intelligence, but this is because they lack what we all have, desire and dedication. Achieve in bodybuilding and use the confidence you build in the gym to build a better life. STRENGTH & HONOR

I’ve been thinking over the past few weeks and have decided that I will not be competing in the Natural Northern. This decision was made solely because I do not want to give up 1 of my 4 days home with my kids. By the time I do go home, it will have been almost 6 months since i’ve seen my babies and all I really wanna do is spend every minute I can with them. My decision to move was a real catch 22 for those who know me understand how hard of a choice this was. I started dieting and preparing for a comp that was supposed to be down here in Raleigh, NC on Oct 18 but for reasons unknown the show was cancelled. I just wanted to compete so badly that I really rushed into stating I was gonna do the Northern when I went home. Im gonna continue dieting and prep as if I were to compete, and look for a show in this area in Nov. or early Dec. I hope those of you who have been following my progress can understand and appreciate my decision, im not wussing out of competing and come Oct 4 I could go onstage but im choosing not to. Instead I will be having a fun filled day with my kids and there is nothing more I want to do. I love training, I love being a bodybuilder but it plays #2 on my list of love to my kids, Alex (7) & Abby (4), how I miss them and I have the countdown going 38 days til’ I see them again. STRENGTH & HONOR to all.

Today was by far the worst workout i’ve had in months. I lacked intensity and was one of those wannabe’s today, you know just kinda going thru the motions. Im just feeling completely depleated today. I woke up this afternoon and honestly didn’t want to go to the gym at all, I never don’t wanna go to the gym, its what I look forward to the most daily. I haven’t made diet changes yet, but I gotta say this worries me. Im lowering my cals / carbs / fats all in the final 6 week diet, and if im showing signs of going flat now, i may just completely fall with the diet adjustments. Time will tell but as of right now, I just feel drained.

This Saturday is 6 weeks out from my competition, and while my progress I feel has been good, Im still far from being ready. Starting Sat i’ll be steping up the intensity and cutting cals again. My new diet is gonna be as follows:

Meal 1: 8egg whites

Meal 2: 6oz Chix 1c Brocc

Meal 3: 6oz Chix 1/4 cashews

Meal 4: 6oz Chix 2c Brocc

Meal 5: 6oz Chix

Meal 6: 8egg whites

I’ll be eliminating protein shakes all together and getting my protein from whole foods. I will also be adding Aminos with every meal for better protein synthesis to maintain as much muscle as I can since I will be consuming no muscle building carbs. The little fats i’ll be taking in along with a Diet Sugar Free Rockstar x 2 daily will be my energy source. I’ll be increasing my cardio to twice daily as well. This is where the road gets very rocky and steep, but I will rise again. STRENGTH & HONOR

First, let me thank everyone for the positive feedback on my continued comp prep. Anyone who had dieted for a show before knows that the temptation to cheat is very intense at moments, well I can honestly say that in these moments for me I think of everyone who is eagerly following my prep and how I have a commitment to you. Im moving full steam ahead and nothing will slow me down. Currently im bouncing between 192 - 194lbs at raw weight. Im still following the diet I last posted, however I have dropped down to 5oz chix breast per serving but im eating 1 addt’l meal daily now. My training has remained intense. I had a friend in town this past week, we used to train together back home and he too is preparing to compete in the natural northern. He couldn’t believe the intensity in my new training style. I just feel like this is meant to be NOW. I was gonna compete in the Francois and Canton this past May, but my opportunity to move came along and stopped me from competing then, they weren’t meant to be for some reason and I truly believe its because its meant for now, this competition is mine. I will bring some hardware home with me and become someone to keep an eye on for years to come. The title of this says exactly how I feel, i’ve turned the corner. Thanks to all who support me once more and to those who continue to doubt me or question how I achieve my results, well thank you too because there is nothing better than making you look a fool. Strength & Honor to all.

I have reviewed my nutrition with a few friends of mine and reviewed different thoughts of pro’s and trainers and have a new diet plan to begin as soon as I wake up this afternoon. It is as follows:

 Meal 1: 2scoops whey, 1 tbls nat’l PB, Animal Pack / Flex

Meal 2: 8 oz Chix, 1/4 c Cashews, 2c Brocc.
Pre / Post Workout: AA’s, Animal Nitro

Meal 3: 8oz Tilapia, 1/4c Almonds, 2c Brocc

 Meal 4: 8oz Chix, 2c Brocc

Meal 5: 8oz Chix, Large Salad w/ olive oil & Red Vinegar

Meal 6: 2 scoops Whey, 1tbls Nat’l PB

The past day and a half I have really deviated from my nutritional plan. It all began when I got held over at work for 8 hours Wed morning, by the time I got home I was exhausted skipped the cardio and went straight to bed. I hadn’t packed enough meals for the extra hours I worked as it was unplanned, I made the smartest choices I could considering I had to eat on the go (very busy day, everyone wanted to call 911) still tho these meals were not apart of the overall plan. I ended up awaking at 0230hrs on Thursday morning didn’t do cardio as it was leg day and I never do cardio on leg day or atleast not prior to training. I got two meals in before training and had a fantastic session. A good friend of mine is in town vacationing so after getting my post workout meal in, I packed my cooler and headed out for the beach. I got home, showered and was laying down taking a nap when my cell phone rang, it was a text message from the department and they needed a medic to come in ASAP for a night shift. Being that i am a overtime ho, I took it and rushed out….no food packed, and I forgot my protein at home as well. THe early hours of the shift were busy so again had to eat on the run, I got some chicken and broccolli from a chinese carry out place, not bad but not great either. While I haven’t been binge eating or making stupid choices, these meals haven’t been apart of the plan and being OCD about my progress I honestly feel like I can see a difference in my mid section the past 2 days and its not for the better. My plan is to go straight chix breast all weekend, keeping my cals low while sustaining high protein. I only have to train arms later today before coming back into work so this shouldn’t effect my performance and hopefully i’ll feel a little more back on track by Monday morning.