Getting back to my darker roots…
As Im now preparing to compete I find myself in a very strange place. In my surroundings im finally happy, however this is effecting my training. So im here writing to help bring myself back to my proper mental zone for training. Anger, Pain, Hurt, Disgust… these are the emotions that drive us as humans, if it wasn’t for these emotions what would seperate us from every other animal that inhabits the planet. I find myself thinking of all the things people have said to me in the past, my mother telling me she hopes I burn in a fire. My ex wife telling me I was lazy and wouldn’t amount to anything on my own. I think of how my spoiled little brother showed his true colors, blowing me off before I moved, emotionally smacking my father in his face by turning his back on him because he needed mommy to buy a engagement ring for him….what a lil’ bitch (FYI: i hope he does read this) I think of how I had to leave my children in Ohio, so I could provide more for them as this ever falling apart world revolves around money instead of happiness. Mentally Im dark now, and thats how I need to be and will remain until I step on stage. Im going to win, Im going to dominate, Im going to destroy everything that steps in my way. This isn’t about being able to say "im a bodybuilder" or to get woman or any of that bullshit..this is about showing everyone that with motivation and dedication its possible to completely bring yourself back from the ashes. This is personal, these are my roots.
July 20, 2008 at 4:03 am
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Keep it real & don’t let it become your main source of inner fuel, but definitely tune into all that dark energy when you need that last rep, that last set, those final seconds of cardio, etc.
July 20, 2008 at 6:34 pm
As one of those cheery types, you know it’s hard for me to read an entry like this by someone I adore and admire… however, I know that this anger/disgust fuels your inner fire, and so whatever it takes you to dominate, I’m supporting you 110%. I have no doubt your training will go WAY above and beyond… KILL it, my friend!!
July 20, 2008 at 8:05 pm
SO you and I will be competing in 13 weeks. We both train heavy and crazy. We both have ambitions. But we differ in what fuels us.
Let’s go get it Mike!