FireMike

First, HUGE props to my friend Jay ( JCB Rage17) on his victory this past weekend in Pittsburgh at the NPC Collegiate Nationals. This guys is young, dedicated, fierce, and a true genetic freak. To see one of your own succeed should only inspire you to do the same. 3 years ago I watched this quest begin for Jay, and back then it involved my kid brother not I. I’ve trained with, competed in powerlifting events and hung out with these guys. I was the older brother who was being inspired by the youth and dreams of my brother and his friends. Fastforward to present time… My brother, waste of space, a true kid ( unlike Jay ) he gave up on bodybuilding, sold out, and disrespected our family name in the process. I have gone from being the fat out of shape man I once was to being a man who pushes himself harder and harder every second of the day. I look in the mirror and im disgusted, usually. With plans to compete in 12 weeks, I looked hard in the mirror today after my leg session, and for one of the first times ever I thought, "dam michael your looking really good." I don’t wanna step on stage and not be competitive, I wanna dominate, I wanna win. I needed a honest gauge of were I stand, and from someone who will be completely honest and has the experience of absolute victory in bodybuilding, there was nobody I trusted with this task more than Jay. So I snapped some pix’s and sent them to him and asked him to let me know if I was on track or not. Jay’s victory this past weekend put my mind set in a whole new place, somewhere i’ve never been. As said when one of your own does something great, it makes the unbelievable become obtainable. Jay was very rapid with his text back, "oh yeah man, your well on track." This fired up the 9th, and 10th cylinder, because im not packing a v8 now, its pure bread american V-10 horsepower now. I’ve never ever felt the way I do right now physically. Im dialed in.

As Im now preparing to compete I find myself in a very strange place. In my surroundings im finally happy, however this is effecting my training. So im here writing to help bring myself back to my proper mental zone for training. Anger, Pain, Hurt, Disgust… these are the emotions that drive us as humans, if it wasn’t for these emotions what would seperate us from every other animal that inhabits the planet. I find myself thinking of all the things people have said to me in the past, my mother telling me she hopes I burn in a fire. My ex wife telling me I was lazy and wouldn’t amount to anything on my own. I think of how my spoiled little brother showed his true colors, blowing me off before I moved, emotionally smacking my father in his face by turning his back on him because he needed mommy to buy a engagement ring for him….what a lil’ bitch (FYI: i hope he does read this) I think of how I had to leave my children in Ohio, so I could provide more for them as this ever falling apart world revolves around money instead of happiness. Mentally Im dark now, and thats how I need to be and will remain until I step on stage. Im going to win, Im going to dominate, Im going to destroy everything that steps in my way. This isn’t about being able to say "im a bodybuilder" or to get woman or any of that bullshit..this is about showing everyone that with motivation and dedication its possible to completely bring yourself back from the ashes. This is personal, these are my roots.