FireMike

New Years Eve, the night of all nights. The one night that everyone goes out and parties to celebrate out with the old and in with the new. New Years Eve for me, many years was this but not this year. I’ve waited very patiently for the end of 2007, a close to the tragedy of years for me. Years from now when someone asks me what the worst year of my life was the answer will without question be: 2007. For the majority of the year my children and my training were the only things that made me feel important, or special. Its funny what you and how you begin to feel as a complete unraveling of your life is happening all around you, and the harder you try to stop it all, it continues to only worsen to new levels you never imagined. Tonight im spending with someone very special, me, to reflect on all that has happened over the year. I want to remember it all, the few good memories of the year, and the many torturous moments I lived that I would never wish upon anyone. Tonight is my time for closure and excepting that I can close that book and start with a fresh outlook for the new year, while carrying over the hard work and dedication I have put into my mind. One thing I can say about 2007 is it gave me a new outlook on everything, I feel more connected with myself in a whole, mind, body, spirt sense. I truely understand that as a man (or woman) you can rely on no one except you so you have to build yourself tough both mentally and physically or you will allow bad times, no matter how long of a time frame, to lead to your ultimate failure. While down and out closing out this year, im not a failure. My father always told me, "the weak dont have problems because they have others take care of their problems, THE TOUGH HAVE PROBLEMS." This is a saying that rings thru my head non stop. Many times I wanted to turn to my family for help, but ultimately couldn’t because im not weak. Ive struggled and struggled and in the process allowed things to fall apart but it was on my terms, no one else’s. Im not one to be owned or bought by people, im not one to owe anyone anything at anytime, if I do something for you or offer something to you, its because I care and I want to, not out of obligation. 2008 will be my return, my rebirth if youwill, I have some struggles and rough roads ahead of me immediately but after january all skies appear at the moment to be clear. With the new year, comes a new attitude, one that I have lacked for sometime now, and I feel great. This year will be great and to those friends of mine on this site (Carla, Tegid, Firebloks, Hercules53, NTRLFTR, Pixi) who have offered support and positive outlooks during some down moments for me I thank you, and say watch out, the head is clear, the goal is clear, and the work required, well I have big shoulders I can handle a little more weight. STRENGTH & HONOR happy new years to all

This entry was posted on Monday, December 31st, 2007 at 5:28 pm and is filed under Training. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.