FireMike

New Years Eve, the night of all nights. The one night that everyone goes out and parties to celebrate out with the old and in with the new. New Years Eve for me, many years was this but not this year. I’ve waited very patiently for the end of 2007, a close to the tragedy of years for me. Years from now when someone asks me what the worst year of my life was the answer will without question be: 2007. For the majority of the year my children and my training were the only things that made me feel important, or special. Its funny what you and how you begin to feel as a complete unraveling of your life is happening all around you, and the harder you try to stop it all, it continues to only worsen to new levels you never imagined. Tonight im spending with someone very special, me, to reflect on all that has happened over the year. I want to remember it all, the few good memories of the year, and the many torturous moments I lived that I would never wish upon anyone. Tonight is my time for closure and excepting that I can close that book and start with a fresh outlook for the new year, while carrying over the hard work and dedication I have put into my mind. One thing I can say about 2007 is it gave me a new outlook on everything, I feel more connected with myself in a whole, mind, body, spirt sense. I truely understand that as a man (or woman) you can rely on no one except you so you have to build yourself tough both mentally and physically or you will allow bad times, no matter how long of a time frame, to lead to your ultimate failure. While down and out closing out this year, im not a failure. My father always told me, "the weak dont have problems because they have others take care of their problems, THE TOUGH HAVE PROBLEMS." This is a saying that rings thru my head non stop. Many times I wanted to turn to my family for help, but ultimately couldn’t because im not weak. Ive struggled and struggled and in the process allowed things to fall apart but it was on my terms, no one else’s. Im not one to be owned or bought by people, im not one to owe anyone anything at anytime, if I do something for you or offer something to you, its because I care and I want to, not out of obligation. 2008 will be my return, my rebirth if youwill, I have some struggles and rough roads ahead of me immediately but after january all skies appear at the moment to be clear. With the new year, comes a new attitude, one that I have lacked for sometime now, and I feel great. This year will be great and to those friends of mine on this site (Carla, Tegid, Firebloks, Hercules53, NTRLFTR, Pixi) who have offered support and positive outlooks during some down moments for me I thank you, and say watch out, the head is clear, the goal is clear, and the work required, well I have big shoulders I can handle a little more weight. STRENGTH & HONOR happy new years to all

Beginning the day after Christmas I began to feel queezy with some abdominal cramping. At first I figured this was just the deserts I indulged in over Christmas day disagreeing with me and my dieting. I trained on Weds as planned, but overall the session wasn’t that great despite taking in plenty of fluid I couldn’t get the cramping to go away. On thursday I had my children overnight, and the cramping began to increase and then Friday after dropping my kids back off to their mom, I was on my way home and planning to head to the gym when all of a sudden, I began hurling while driving down the highway (not a pretty site for whoever was driving behind me) Well going to train was out of picture for me at this point, so I went home drank some water, took a hot shower to try and ease my cramping and went to bed. I awoke a few hours later with some more fluid lose, believe me this was bad, so bad I dont’ need to detail. This was the story for the next 24 hours, sleep a hour, get sick, go back to sleep, repeat. Today I still have abdominal discomfort but ive been able to keep fluids down, still avoiding food, have ate a few saltines to see if I can hold those down right now. My bodyweight is down to 205 right now and I haven’t really eaten anything in almost 72hours at this point, im scared to see how weak and pathetic im gonna be when I do get back to my training (hopefully tomorrow evening). Realistically nothing has gone to plan thru my first month of dieting, I haven’t had the income to adequately support my meal plans, thus I have cut my overall intake short of were it needs to be. (thats another thing, this country is out of shape because its so cheap to eat like crap but if you wanna be fit and eat right it costs you an arm and a leg, that is so not right) Im gonna need to see were im at come the end of January and re evaluate my game plan.

Tomorrow, and in some parts of the world, today is Christmas. A day of happiness and cheer for the whole world to celebrate with their loved ones. Often forgotten is how many people are not cheerful on this the holiest of days. Many tend to be depressed this time of year for many reasons, death of a loved one, recent breakup/divorce, money and etc. I am one included in this group, this hasn’t been the greatest of years for me in terms of personal and financial life. The breakup of the one who despite the deciet, I still feel is/was my one true love, and then toped off with the loss of my job and unemployment for 2 months led to a very down and out December for me. For most of the month I have dwelled on the downward spiral this year for me personally, and on the fact that I would not be able to provide the kind of christmas I have in the past for my 2 absolutely wonderful children. Today I went to hang out with my parents before I had to come into work, down and out I tried to pretend to be happy with minimal success. My father, who has been thru it all asked me to go to the basement and watch a movie with him. My father and I spent a great deal of time together in late spring and early summer turning his basement into a great theatre room. The movie my father choose for us to watch, Invincible. When the movie began he told me to really pay attention to the movie for it held meaning that he thought I needed at this time. During this film there a multitude of relevences to my current situation that I took note of. First being, family no matter how bad of a situation you are in will always be there to help you back up. Family also never looks down on you, or becomes ashamed of you for failure as long as you’ve busted your ass trying to fix the situation. Next was that you can’t be afraid to go for your dream and make it a reality no matter what, its ok to have HOPE. Finally, be invincable… My family is of greek heratige, we are of true spartan descent and we dont quit no matter how big the odds are against us. When the movie was complete my father asked me if I got the point, YES I DID. My father than told me of the period of life when he was in my shoes, and asked me if knew allthis, to which I said no. He then told me it was when I was 12 yrs old and then again when I was 17yrs old. I never knew the difference, as my children will not know the difference bc the most important thing I do for them is show them attention. Time, affection, education, LOVE in general is what fatherhood is about, not how many presents you buy them or how much money you spend on them for christmas. Christmas is about love, it is about hope for the next year, it is a time to bond with those in our lives that we don’t get to see as much as we’d like to, but on this one day a year you have all day with them. The meaning of christmas is love, remember that as you celebrate the holiday, LOVE not gifts. Merry Christmas to all. STRENGTH & HONOR

This past week I spent training time with some familiar faces whom I haven’t trained with in a long time. These were the people I began training with when I got real serious about the iron back in October of 2005. On Monday I hooked up with my buddy "Tree" for a fantastic chest workout. I had quickly noticed that since "Tree" had put on some quality size and strength over the past year, his attitude had changed, he thought he was the man. I quickly brought him back down to earth and we went on to destroy our chest and calves. The next day we were back at it hitting the delts and traps. There’s just something about training in the gym where I really turned the corner, it feels like home, and all my boys train there so I always have a quality partner to train with. Weds I trained alone but once again stellar workout. Hit back and started w an intense deadlifting set. It was just a very good training week, exactly what I needed to restore the pump after my 10 day rest period.

I don’t know about other people, but I have always feared stepping up and having bodyfat measurement done realistically with the calipers. I’ve always used electric testers and guesstimations to figure what I thought my bf% would be. Well on Monday a friend of mine, who is also competeing in the same shows as I, we were training together. He mentioned having one of the personal trainers at the gym check his bf% to see where he was. My fear of calipers and I were like go right on ahead and do it bro, i’ll just sit that out. My buddy breaks his shirt off and I notice he’s got some mass but as far as quality, not so much. his bf% comes back at 18. Im thinking wow I think im around 14 but if he’s at 18 I gotta be lower, so I took the shirt off and had the calipers done. The results: 10.5% BF. I couldn’t believe it, so I had him re do the test about half an hour later, after I relaxed in the hot tub a little and had a meal. The result: 10.8% BF… UNBELIEVABLE. Unfortunately I carry all my bf in my abdomen, my legs, arms, and chest have very little to peel off. Im glade I did this bc I feel great about where I am sitting and I now know I need to start hammering my midsection w brute force. Considering I have only been dieting 3 weeks and haven’t begun doing cardio yet, I couldnt be happier with my progress. My current stats are as follows: 215lbs, 10.5%BF, Arms 17.75", Legs 26.75", Waist 34". Everything was cold at time of measurements also, since I hadn’t trained in 10 days. Hopefully my arms will be back at 18" once I get a couple of training sessions in on them. Overall tho, Im happy and im looking forward to christmas day and eating a couple pieces of my favorite pastry Bakklava…YUM other than that i’ll be dieting thru the holiday. STRENGTH & HONOR

So im sitting here at work and I have this feeling of absolute refreshness. Everything seems very clear, I know what and how im gonna adjust my diet because ive dropped to much weight to quick. Yes there is such a thing as loosing to much weight. Im ready to get back in the gym tomorrow, well later today and kick things off right. My body is nice and fresh, haven’t trained in a full week which is the first time ive done that in about a year. Im about to make some personal life changes this week also that will help my stress levels, which means less cortisol, hell yea. It really feels like a brand new day, there’s a lot of work to be done but I feel great and im primed for the challenges that await me. STRENGTH & HONOR

well its been a full day since my disappointing showing in powerlifting comp. I did place, I didn’t remember if I had said that before, but the disappointment came from my own expectations. Well after reflecting I completely understand the importance of starting off light now. You get to name your next weight, so to anyone thinking of doing a power comp always start with a weight you own, like what you can push for 3 or 4 reps in the gym. Get those numbers on the board and then go for a weight you do for 2 reps, then that 1 rep number you did last week in training. This is what I failed to understand and do yesterday. I don’t claim to have alot of experience with competition, so I still learn things like most everyone else does. In this set case, the next day I understand strategy of your lifts. STRENGTH & HONOR

Well I competed yesterday in a power comp, the same event in which I won the 220 raw class in Jan 2006. I can’t say I was able to repeat that performance on this given day. At first I was very down about it, and I did write a long blog that was very negative, I erased that bc in disaster we learn. I can sit here and talk about how I was up on friday from 0600 till 0400 sat morning and only slept 2 hours before getting up to go the comp, or how I dropped 14 lbs in past 15 days (yes I know this is excessive but honestly I just couldn’t afford groceries this past week so I lived off protein in water shakes) I lost today bc of my own stupidity. When the day was over my brother said to me, "what did you expect, you didn’t really think you were gonna move the weight you were did you?" My answer, actually I did and that was stupid of me. I should of been smarter about my openers and I would have placed better. What I take out of this, well first don’t lose 14 lbs so quickly bc your not gonna sustain your power. Second its not smart to do a power event while dieting, you body needs the caloric intake in order to perform in this type of event. Lastly, a quote was learned…"punishment is happiness." The road from here for me, well I gotta be honest I have realized that I would rather be strong and decently built than shredded and weaker. Im taking a few days but honestly I leaning towards saying f u c k competeing in bodybuilding, and getting my a ss in the iron chamber with my brothers and truly training as a powerlifter for a while. i know my strength and those who have trained w me know it too, I would do well in competitive powerlifting if I dedicate myself to it. Likewise I know im coming off a moral defeat which will pass in the next few days so im allowing that to happen before making any decisions. As for placing well I took a third place trophy home, but I dont even feel it was deserved, its purpose will become one to help drive me and push me even harder. Everyone has a bad outting now and then, and mine was today, wasn’t the first time I had a bad performance and im sure it wont be the last. However, I assure there will be many great performances before I have another bad one, I learned my lessons in a personally demoralizing fashion, but as the great Pheonix did, I to shall rise out of the ashes and reign my fire on all who stand in my way. STRENGTH & HONOR

I can not take it, I haven’t seen the gym seriously in over 4 days and its completely killing me. I feel like a small child who can’t find his favorite blanket at bedtime, im lost. I have my body so intuned to my work & workout schedule I dont need an alarm to wake up in between shifts. So I wake up today at 3pm like I do every work rotation so I can get my training in before work. Anyway I wake up and I have nothing to do for the next 3 hours. Sure I made my breakfast, took a shower, did some laundry… then I just moaped around with sad kid syndrome. Then I had this bright idea to watch the greatest movie in the history of the world, "Pumping Iron". Needless to say this only made it worse, I was ready to go train, so i turned it off. I dont know what the hell I was thinking but I turned on "300" then. Im of Greek decent, and when I watch 300, my heritage, the Spartan in me wants to come out and play. Finally I said F. U. C. K. it and just came into work early. Its now Weds morning, only 3 more full days until the power comp and then I can get back into my routine. I know I need a week off anyway bc I haven’t taken one off in almost a year, but I think its sh it and I dont like it.

well with my powerlifting meet coming up here in a few days, ive decided to take the rest of the week off from training. Since im on comp diet, I figured no matter how I would plan my training for the week I wouldn’t be able to perform at my best on Sat. So im continuing to diet but not gonna step foot in the gym, let my body rest this week so im 100% on Sat and not short on energy. It is really important to me that I perform well and meet the expectations I have set for myself. This is one of those moments in life for me. Ive set the goal of winning 220lb raw class, I trained to the best of my ability, now I need to finish the job. My personal life has had a large absence of victories over the past 6 months, and I need this victory to get myself rolling on track again. Its amazing at how something so insignificant to some people, is so important to others. Nobody really seems to understand why im putting so much pressure on being victorious, but all I can say is when your in a place of no good, and all you’ve been able to do to keep holding on is go to the gym and train, you expect it to pay off for you on the days that it matters most.