FireMike

Today I ventured off to church for the first time in years, I sensed I needed some spiritual cleansing of sorts and needed to reconnect. The message of the day overwhelmed me, I felt this huge pressure thru my body as I listened to the serman, why? Well the answer is simple…I been walking around the past few months answering others questions on how to obtain a good physique without practicing what I had been preaching to them…Hypocriticism…There is nothing I despise more in this world, and I have been doing it myself. WTF Mike!!! Sitting around this afternoon watching football (Yay, the Browns won’t be 0-16 this season after a win today) I find myself mentally preparing myself and my significant other for what is about to begin. She hasn’t seen it hands on yet, she knows all about it, she’s heard the stories from others about the commitment, the pure dedication, the anguish it can cause, the hard exterior that overcomes me as I venture further down the line towards April 2010… Her only request, "baby, please just don’t get so big you have no neck" my reply, "no worries of that for another few years girl." The freezer is stocked with chicken and beef, 30 lbs worth of regular and sweet potatoes stock the pantry, the water has been flowing and dont get me started on the eggs. Yesterday was the re introduction workout, you know telling my body wake the F$%@ Up!!! Full bodied all power movements, 3 rounds 15 reps, YA the body is feeling awake today, now to shock it come morning and re introduce fully sturctured clean eating. You know I find myself doubting myself a little tho, again I ask why? I have come along way since 3 years ago, and really haven’t put much on since injury so why question? Well before it was just me, no one had to put up with a moody day or two in a row bc of being hungry and wanting a dam pizza, now someone has too. So I find myself dealing with the question of at what cost will I move to the stage. If it begins to impact things negatively in the personal life do I continue… Well I have answered the question for myself… I don’t care what it costs. Bodybuilding was here before and will remain if there is a answer, it has been knownst that its apart of Mike and if its not accepted then Im not accepted. So here we go, the future blogs will be about training again (PRAISE THE LORD)… Time to get some, and all I can say is BRING THE MOTHERF-ING PAIN, YA!!! IM GONNA BRING IT… STRENGTH & HONOR TO ALL

I’ve all but forgotten what it takes to achieve a complete physique. While the practice hasn’t been there in some time now, the desire, the drive and the dedication remains. The knowledge is burried within my skull and the brute force remains within the fibers of my muscles. The motivation has emerged in the form of pain once again. Emotional disgust, the feeling of being FORSAKEN for all that I am and all that I do. The training begins Monday morning, but I can’t seem to wait, I want it rt now. I need to bury my emotional pain behind physical pain, the physical pain always did keep the emotions from tearing me apart. When I look in the mirror I no longer see the man that I was a few months back but what I do see is a man more driven, more commited and in more pain and disgust than ever before. Im ready to become greater, im ready to become more, and im ready to show it to the world. Strength and Honor

Its been a while since I’ve been on bb.com, shoulder injury, the kids down to visit for summer and the girlfriend have just lessen my available time, however now after some time off and increased stress I realize just how much I miss it all. The summer was quite interesting for myself, a new love (maybe???), a new job, a move, and a nagging shoulder injury. Here I sit on this cloudy Friday morning, stressed to the max thinking to myself, what was I thinking, what did I do, where was this fork in the road. I don’t have the answers. The running just isn’t working for stress relief anymore and while I planned to avoid the gym until Nov so I don’t keep re-injuring my shoulder, I find I have no choice at this point because Im about to explode and awake the inner demon I put to rest a long time ago. There was a point in time when I walked around pissed out the world, so I drowned the world out and secluded myself like a hermit content in his own exsistance. In return my attitude showed to all and yes I was a *******, I don’t want that man to emerge from the ashes again. In not placing my focus on my body, my training, and my goal to compete I have begun to lose my way. I have deviated from my plans, my dreams and it is having its effect on my life. I followed my heart on a matter when my brain told me not too, and no matter how many times it happens I tend to choose my heart over my brain. (Dumbass) Anyway its time to unleash the demon in the right arena, the gym baby. Its time to get back to work, its time to shut the f#@% up and bring it. I have increased my knowledge, have new training strategies and there is no reason I can’t take it to stage in this years NC States and bring some hardware home. Expect to see the return of my usual intense writings and to the few haters that have also followed my writings, bring it boys all it does is fuel my burning desire. Strength & Honor has returned!!!

I’ve been back bulking for about a month and while most of my gains have been on the leaner side, im very unsatisfied with my current physique, hence why there has been no progress pictures lately. As I dieted down I constantly told myself, ok when its time to bulk your gonna have to sacrafice your physique a little. Well that’s not gonna fly unfortunately. Im not gonna lie it was hard work for me to diet down, prior to this I had never been below 12% let alone 9%bf. Im gonna be cleaning the diet up to the point that its a comp prep diet once again and get myself cut up by mid Dec. The game plan from there is to maintain a comp based diet but further increase the protein intake to support further lean muscular gains. As always this is a work in progress and who knows how i will change the diet as I progress but im sure there will be tweaks along the way, its a long road to Wilmington and I have plenty of time. Overcometh & Becometh… with Strength & Honor in thy heart and soul.

I been bulking for 2 weeks now, current weight 198lbs will be measuring tonight and updating. My current diet is as follows:

 meal 1: 10 egg whites, 2 whole eggs, 4pc whole wheat bread or 1c oatmeal

meal 2: Universal Mass XXL shake (1,090 cals 220g carbs 50g pro) postworkout

meal 3: 10oz steak, 2 baked potatoes or 1 c br rice

meal 4: 10oz chix, 2 c pasta & tomatoe sauce

meal 5: Universal Mass XXL shake

meal 6: 10oz steak, 1 potatoe, 1c brocc

meal 7: 10oz chic, 1/2 br rice

meal 8: Muscle Milk shake

I don’t know what happened today but somehow the former version of myself came out to play for a little while in the gym today and I liked it. My strength was compariable to what it was when I was weighing 230lbs. It was back day and it started right from the get go. Rev grip wide lat pulls, I started with the weight I have been for sometime now 150 and it was too easy… hmmmm what the hell is going on here? Bumped it up to 165 again easy 15 reps, so lets kick it up again 180 for 15, 200 for 12 and 220 for 10…. I don’t recall doing 220 ever before, ok someone pinch me I possessed or something. Well with the strength being good today I figured to do some T-Bars, its been months since I’ve really rocked them and to be honest I wanted to see if the increase in strength was just isolated to my lats or my entire back. I started it out light, 3 plates and after 30 reps still no burn. I jumped it up to 5 plates and rocked 15 reps, slow and concentrated good burn, followed by 6 plates for the same and finishing with 7 plates for 12. Next DB rows and this is when I decided that I truly was under the influence of the gods or something. 100×15, 110×15, 120×12, 130×10….again I don’t ever recall ever doing anything over 120 db’s on this movement. Well I decided at this point I better get into some defining movements, because if I didn’t break the cycle right that instant this workout was gonna become a old school powerlifting workout and I was fighting the urge to do some heavy deads… I really miss my deads, 2 weeks until I get to do them again, can’t wait for the shins to BLEED. Anyway, I finished the workout up with 1 arm seated cable rows superset with close grip pulldowns 4 sets and then weighted hanging back extensions. No ab work today, I really hit them hard yesterday with the chest, but I did the cardio up. 35 mins stairclimber pre lifting and 15mins seated bike post lifting. All around great training day, hopefully the next 11 days that follow will go every bit as well and I can finish this lean out period the right way. Strength & Honor

12 days until I go back to Ohio for a wedding and to see my children. 12 days until my friends and family see me for the first time in months. I have continued to diet, even after deciding not to compete bc I want my appearance to be shocking and motivational to those I cheerish. Im still not happy with the way I look, and once again I had a bad diet day today. This is a occurance that has become very common over the past week or so. Somehow i’ve deviated from plan and im not really sure why or how this has happened. Beginning tomorrow morning I will begin a big push to finish strong and make more dramatic changes over 12 days, then I have in the past 2 months. The diet plan is simple and doesn’t require much pre planning.

Meal 1: 1 grapefruit, 1 scoop whey protein

Meal 2: 50g whey

Meal 3: 6oz Chix breast

Meal 4: 50g whey

Meal 5: 6oz Chix Breast

Meal 6: 50g whey

I will be doing 2 cardio sessions daily. This will essentially be a long carb depletion and while I may appear flat by the time its done, I will be shredded for the first time ever.

I’ve really been struggling the last 2 weeks, haven’t dropped anymore weight or tightened up at all. The bright side is i haven’t gained anything either. I’ve been all over the place diet wise. It all began with the preparation of hurricane / tropical storm hannah. When we were on lock down I forgot my food at home and was stuck between a rock and hard place, I had to eat so I made the best choices that I could with what I had available to eat. Since then it has been way to easy to justify a cheat meal here, a cheat meal there and so on and so forth. I’ve also been having alot of desire to begin bulking up again as I am not happy with my current size, I never thought I would be under 200lbs and am very unsatisfied with this. Its great to be cut up and all but any jo shmoe can be cut up but it takes true dedication and commitment to be a certified FREAK that is cut up and over 215, this is what I want. Regardless im gonna make a big push over the next 17 days to finish this out strong and achieve a weight of 185 by the time I travel back to Ohio for a few days.

This blog has absolutely nothing to do with dieting or training, it has to do with my love of being a paramedic. I had a bad call two nights ago. It was 3am Sunday morning, there was a dense low laying fog over the coastline area, and the area is flooded with tourists for Labor Day weekend. The call was for a single vehicle roll over with individual entrapment. My partner and I were the first on scene, it was dark rural curvey road. A black full sized SUV laid on the passenger side of the vehicle, from the skid marks we were able to tell that the vehicle had begun to go off the road heading southbound, the driver locked the breaks up and over compensated causing the vehicle to do a 180 and roll. The SUV wasn’t stabilized and was on the edge of a 5 ft deep ditch. I looked in threw the windshield and found a female unconscious laying on what would be the passenger side front door. "Ma’am can you hear me?" no response but I can see the woman is breathing, "Ma’am can you hear me?"…. "OMG, what do you want?" the woman became responsive and frantic, a fowl smell of alcohol was lingering thru the vehicle. She began trying to move around inside the vehicle causing it to begin rocking, then as quickly as she regained consciousness, she went unconscious again. I climbed inside the vehicle just as the local fire department was arriving. C-Spine immobilization was my primary concern once inside the vehicle, I could tell the woman had a patent airway. Once inside I assessed compartment damage, as this can aid in anticipating injuries both visable and internal. It appeared the woman was not wearing her seatbelt. The windshield was busted up, but it did not appear that her head struck it as she had no visable markings on her. The fire department began cutting away the roof after getting the vehicle stabilized, when the patient regained consciousness and began fighting with me then again went unconscious. Once the roof was rolled back we were able to get the patient fully immobilized and on the cot. Again she regained consciousness and began fighting us. Now, as I said this was in a rural area, we were 45 mins away from the nearest trauma center by ground and over a hour and half away from the facility this patient really needed to go to. We called for airlink to fly the patient out. Enroute to the landing zone the patient was in and out of consciousness, fighting us when conscious. With the obvious presence of alcohol it made diagnosing what was causing her combativeness. I went ahead and treated for InterCranial Pressure. This is caused by a injury to the brain itself, causing hemmorhaging which begins to build pressure in the cranium depriving the unaffected brain of oxygen, this is a very serious life threat. Air Link had already arrived prior to our arrival at the landing zone, so immediately upon arrival airlink personel came aboard the ambulance for report. I gave report and it was decided to chemically paralyze the patient and intubate her prior to take off. Once the patient was intubated, she was moved to the chopper and lifted out. Earlier today I took a call into the facility this patient was sent to, so prior to clearing up I stopped by the AirLink office to see what further information they had on said patient. I was correct, and my treatment for the ICP based on my understanding of mechanism of injury saved her life. She had a emergent craniotomy shortly after arrival that morning. This is why I moved and took this job, to do what I love and am trained to do. It feels incredible to make a difference in someone’s life you don’t know and have never even seen before the moment they need you. As I said I love what I do for a living and just wanted to share this event. STRENGTH & HONOR

I recently found my old notebook workout journal that I kept prior to beginning a journal online, and one page in particular I wanna share. The following is exactly as the page appears.

Oct. 1, 2007   Bodyweight: 227lbs    Bodyfat: 18%

As I prepare for the journey that lays ahead many thoughts race thru my mind. "Am I strong enough, physically and mentally to full fill my desires or will I fold under the pressure?"

"The Pressure"

For years I have desired this and attempted to achieve with great failure and disgust. In failing I placed blame instead of acceptance, blaming the trials and tribulations of life for my failure. At said time I believed these to truly be the reasons I failed, now looking back I realize my failure was my lack of desire and dedication, I showed no strength & honor.

The road I am preparing to walk is rough, but many before me have made it thru. I will now defeat my demons and full fill my desires. I have called it out loud and told everyone I know what I will do in the days, months and years to come. Failure will not be tolerated now or ever again.

"Trials and Tribulations"

Now more than ever before I am facing the trials and tribulations of life. I feel a heavy feeling on my chest making it difficult to breathe at times, and the weight of the world is on shoulders. Why will this time be different, why will I rise? The answer: the old Mike is dead, and a new life is born. Instead of dwelling on the trials, I use them to fuel my desires. I no longer cry over a love lost, a life lost… I get enraged as to increase my strength. I don’t get down over financial situations fore when I go to the gym, im clocking in and making my earning, this is my honor.

Sure the road ahead is rough, but I am my fathers son and he breed me rough and tough just as he is. Thru all adversities and all obstacles I will achieve a new level physically and mentally. With clouds come storms, after the heat settles the cold sets in and I will march on thru all, focused, dedicated, and full of desire. This is me creating life. STRENGTH & HONOR… (end of old journal entry)

 You know I read this and I remember the day I wrote it, where I was sitting, what I was getting ready to do and what I was wearing. The emotions I felt at said time were so overwhelming that I just started writing and upon completion of this I felt better. It is now 11 months later and as I reflect I realize I am doing exactly what I told myself and others I would do. While my physical transformation is far from complete, I have made great strides towards these desires. Mentally I am stronger than ever, and for the first time in a long time I can say I love myself and who I am. Financially life has made a complete 360, while Im still cleaning up the mess that was created a year ago I can honestly invision true securtiy on the horizon. All I have achieved in the past year was a direct result of bodybuilding. This sport has given me not only physical strength but mental strength as well. My success’s are a direct result of my dedication and love for bodybuilding. When I look back over the past years progress pictures I am just amazed. I remember last Sept I truly thought I looked good and had a good physique, now I can’t believe I looked like that. The motivation to continue achieving is the past. People always say you have to forget the past and move on, forget that. Remember your past and use the negatives to propel you to greater levels. This life is short and before any of us know it we’ll be in our final decade of life looking back at our past, our legacies…what mark do you want to leave on the future generations of your family? I know what I want to and will leave on mine. The point of all this is that while people who are looking from the outside in believe us to be "meatheads" who are uncapable of possessing intelligence, but this is because they lack what we all have, desire and dedication. Achieve in bodybuilding and use the confidence you build in the gym to build a better life. STRENGTH & HONOR