Wendy’s BodyBlog

I don’t have that much time to write because I have to get my arse to bed… It’ll be an early and long day tomorrow! I am feeling better about the comp. I think most of this is due to the fact that now I just don’t have the time to mull things over! Funny how things like that work, eh?

I also read an email that basically said that it is natural to question things once we get closer to a goal, whether it’s this sport, a wedding, etc. That does make some sense to me. At any rate, I am not going to ponder why anymore. I will just go forward and do my best and try to eat clean and somewhat regularly despite the 10-13 hour days I am pulling. (Sigh). But this is my last year of school, and then I can have a "normal" adult life, LOL!
Also, as of tomorrow, or Friday, it is 11 weeks out. I miscounted, apparently. That means I am not doing as badly as I thought, which is a relief to me…I thought I had basically wasted two weeks. I have managed to get in three days of cardio already this week, and my eating has gotten better. I will try to write more later and to get caught up with how everyone is doing! I MISS MY BODYSPACE FRIENDS!

I am 10.5 weeks out from show, and so far the training and diet have only been so-so. I got fairly sick a few days after Leadville (I am sure it has NOTHING to do with the lack of sleep and standing in the pouring rain, LOL!), so this week, while I will have gotten in all of my lifting workouts, I have only done cardio twice. Three times if you include the 2 mile walk I took with a client this morning. The diet has only been ok. School and my internship started this week, so I have been really busy, and sometimes I don’t eat for 3 or 4 hours when I usually try to eat every 2 hours. But my diet has been fairly clean. Could be better, of course.

I haven’t been feeling excited about the show AT ALL! I don’t understand why I am feeling this way. In fact, I don’t really want to do it anymore, but I did buy the suit already, and I had better wear that dang pretty suit at least once. I think it’s that I hate dieting THAT MUCH. Plus, I am bored with the gym. My program changes every month, but I am tired of going into the gym almost every day. Plus, I feel fat–well maybe not fat but chubby. At this point, I just need to woman up and stay committed to the program I am on as well as the diet. Plus, I have a photo shoot sometime in October or November, so I HAVE to look good for that!  I already told the photographer that I want to celebrate my show body!

Now that I am writing this, I think it may be that there is just so much pressure to look good and lose weight that I have shut down a bit and resisted the show as a result. And with that much pressure, there is also a great possibility to not achieve what I want… And so maybe I am also trying to protect myself from what could be a big disappointment. That’s certainly a possibility. See–this is what I want to be a therapist–I can even psychoanalyze myself! At any rate, I really hope I overcome this pre-show funk I am in–does anyone else ever experience that?

Today I did a hi intensity cardio session at the gym… I think it’s a really good functional workout. It went something like this: Sprint 100 meters (I did the length of the basketball court), 20 mountain climbers, 100m sprint, 10 push ups, 100m sprint, 10 squat jumps, 100m sprint, 10 jackknives (abs), 100m sprint, 20 A-run, 100m sprint, 5 burpees. All of that was ONE REP. I did 6 reps. This is from bodybuilding,com, of course, but I modified it. The program says to do 20 of each (pushups, squat jumps, burpees, etc), but I just didn’t have it in me today. And at the end of those 6 reps, I did 5 suicides (on the basketball court–from baseline to free throw line, back to baseline to half court, back to baseline to free throw line on the other side, back to baseline to baseline and back). I really decreased my resting period during the suicides, so I was DONE after that.

John starts his job in Vegas on Sept 15, so I have a special date planned for him tomorrow afternoon till Monday around lunch. I can’t say what all of the details are, as he might read this, and I don’t want to spoil it for him, but it does include a stay at a cute B&B close to Donner Lake.  It should be really fun, and I am looking forward to it!

Thanks again to all those who commented on my last blog. A lot of people mentioned to break up my training into seasons, and I think I will do just that. I will continue to lift throughout, of course, but ultimately, all of this comes down to what I want to do and achieve in my life… Thanks again for all of your kind words and encouragement!

I heard back from my coach about my myriad of athletic goals (ultras, Women’s Tri-Fitness, fitness modeling), and she basically told me what I was afraid she would–that my goals aren’t compatible. She emphasized that fitness models don’t run marathons (and if they don’t run marathons, then we damn well know that they don’t run ultras!). That is what she says but I know that I have seen some ultra runners (women) who have gorgeous, cut legs and muscular arms… Not the model type, at least according to my coach. So, I am feeling frustrated. Is this what it comes down to? Choosing one over the other? I can’t run ultras if I want to do fitness modeling? I can’t do Tri-Fitness if I want to run ultras? That I really SHOULDN’T do Tri-Fitness too, if I want to succeed as a model?  I wonder if I should try to just go for it regardless of what my coach or others say, or if it would be just silly by not listening to a top fitness and figure coach? But if I heed her advice, then that means that I have to give up something that I want… Are my goals really that incompatible? I want to say no, but then maybe I am just setting myself up for mediocrity in everything I do athletically.

Today was an interesting day at the gym. First, there was a new piece of cardio equipment that I had never seen before. It was a Cybex Arc Trainer. Kind of like a cross between an elliptical and the stairmaster. Elliptical because there is that smooth motion, but stairmaster because the machine forces your legs up really high, but even higher than a stairmaster demands. It felt like I was doing really large, high lunges, but in a more flowing manner. I could really feel it on my hams, which is great news for me! Need to work that rear of mine!

Then, when I was leaving, a trainer (a male) comes up to me and asks if I am training for anything. No one EVER asks me that question, so of course I am more than happy to tell him that I am, and he says that he is impressed that I train with such intent, AND that he thinks it is inspiring for the other members! He THANKED ME for working that hard because of the effect it has on others. I was a bit incredulous, of course, so he tells me that other people watch me while I am working out, and that I don’t notice because I am focusing on what I am doing (which is true!). I don’t go to the gym to socialize or make friends. I go there, get ‘er done, and go home. Apparently he is going to send other women my way for questions about weights! I did forewarn him, however, that I am NOT an expert by any means! He told me that there are other figure girls at the gym, and if we are both in there at the same time, he will introduce me. YAY! Actually meeting figure girls in REAL LIFE! I was surprised that he said those things about me, that I am inspiring to other gym-goers and such, but it was flattering nonetheless. Like I said, I just go in, keep my nose down, and get done what I need to get done.

Another bizarre thing that happened today occurred right after I dropped off John at the airport (he is traveling for work for a few days). First, I noticed a young man walking on the side of the road where there is no sidewalk while carrying his luggage. I thought it was odd he was walking where he was because I have never seen anyone walking there, but I went on my way… First time for everything. And then further up, I notice a tall, blonde man WITH NO SHIRT ON doing the same thing! But this was no ordinary man with no shirt. He was HUGE and RIPPED–ok, maybe not like Ronnie Coleman but more like the physique of a male model–still large. This man was also walking in an area where there are no sidewalks. What the hell? And then just several yards in front of him was a woman standing outside her broken down car talking on her cell phone. Such a bizarre and comical occurrence, to see both at the same time. I wish I had had a camera with me!

It is day 3 of my diet, and it is going well… Of course it is! It’s only been three days! Four more days and I will be struggling with major carb and fat cravings! But, I am allowing myself cheats till 6 weeks out. SMALL CHEATS! Not 2000 calorie cheats! I am already trying to plan my training after the show. Knowing me, I know that I will most likely fall into a slump after the show, but if I have some other things in the works, something to work toward, then I should be ok in a week or two. I also recently emailed my coach to ask about how I should change my training come December so that my training reflects the goals I am working toward. I am eager to see what her advice will be!
One thing I am aiming for is to get photos done in the 1940s-1950s pin-up style in the spring. I love how those types of pics are very sexy, but in a subtle, suggestive kind of way. It would just be for fun, and hey, when I am much older than I am now, I can show my grandkids what I used to look like! I want to go with this photographer. She is in the Bay area, so it would be somewhat convenient for me. Plus, this style of photography is her specialty.
So, even though it has only been one week since Leadville, John is already talking about doing it again next year. Haha! Usually people wait long enough to forget the pain, but not him! The blisters on his feet are still giving him grief, but he is already thinking and planning for it! SOOO that means that I will also be running it. I don’t think we will run this one together per se, but we will do the Tahoe Rim Trail 50 together.  We will have to plan for both of us to have our own crew and pacers.

Oh, and it looks as though John will be getting the promotion in Vegas after all, which means he will be leaving in a couple weeks. I am excited for him; it’s a great opportunity for him, after all, BUT I am super bummed that he is leaving. At the same time, I think everything will work out alright. This year I will be working on my master’s thesis and working crazy hours between work, my internship and school, so it might be for the best after all. And if John were to stay, he would be super miserable. It looks as though I will be going down there a couple times a month to see him, and I will probably stay down there with him over winter break as well.

Anyway… school starts on Monday for me, and I have a literature review to turn in then, but of course, I am not done yet, LOL!

Yes, 12 weeks out tomorrow, and I can’t WAIT for this show to be over!!! I think this is because I had started dieting for another show, that show was canceled, made plans to do another show in October, then that show was moved to an earlier date, and so here I am, finally getting ready for a show that I KNOW won’t change. It’s just been an emotional journey with the date cancellations and changes, and I can’t wait for it to be over. Already!!! And I HATE dieting and all the crazy behaviors it leads to, like binging, dreaming about food, counting the hours till my next meal–all of which I did when i was dieting before! That is NOT HEALTHY OR NORMAL!!!! It is obsessive!!!

So my plan is to lose about 10 pounds, get down to 117-120. I am sure that my physique will not be perfect, but if it comes to a less than perfect physique or just pure bitchiness and obsessive behavior on my part, then I choose the former. Happiness and balance mean a lot to me, much more than a kick a** body. I will also be working a LOT on my stage presence over the next 12 weeks and perfecting my T-walk, as stage presence really does count for a lot, especially in Figure America.
Also, after much reflection this summer, I am not sure how many other shows I will do after this. I have to get through this show first, of course, then decide.  I enjoy lifting, but staying too focused on lifting really limits my ability to participate in the other sports I enjoy. And I am really thinking now more than ever that what I really want is to be a bad a** athlete–someone who lifts weights but also runs ultras, does Women’s Tri Fitness, can do as many pull ups and one-armed push ups as I can 5 lb bicep curls in addition to handstand pushups, crazy yoga poses, you name it! And of course I want the sick body!!! I just want it all, damn it! Also, I’ve come to the realization that what I most want out of shows is to open the door to fitness modeling, to get some exposure, make some contacts, etc. I don’t necessarily want the trophy–I just want the contracts! So, yes, I really do want it all–It keeps me motivated and gets me out of bed in the AM.

Check it out!
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=28074&l=1afc4&id=757829698

John finished the race in 29 hours, 35 minutes! Over 400 people began the race, but only 42 percent finished within the 30 hour time limit. Leadville is one of the hardest 100 mile races in the country, and this year, the race was only more difficult with the "epic" weather conditions. The weather was either rain, snow, sleet, or hail for all but 8 hours of the race. This made crewing and pacing awful. Anna and I waited for John in the pouring rain, shivering. At least when running in the rain, your body heat keeps you warm. At one point, when it was REALLY coming down, Anna and I stood under a tree–which is a definite no-no when there is thunder and lightning, but what else were we going to do?

Anna and I worked it out so that John had either Anna or me to pace him for the entire time from the 50 mile mark on.  I paced John over the two highest passes, for a total of around 24 miles. The first was Hope’s Pass, which tops out at 12,600 feet. John was going fairly slowly over the pass, which was to be expected. At first I thought he was going too slowly, but as we kept climbing, I was glad for his pace. I had never been at that high of elevation, so I did not know how my body would react. And what do you know–I became fairly lightheaded and kept hearing bees buzzing close to me and felt rain drops falling on me occasionally. At that elevation, there ARE no bees, and that is one of the very few hours when the rain actually cleared up! Yup, I was hallucinating! But I knew they were hallucinations, and that it was due to the elevation gain. After we began the descent, I began to feel better shortly.

The best part about Hope’s Pass is that on the descent, there is an unofficial aid station shortly after the summit. Because there are no roads leading up the pass, only trails, a bunch of volunteers packed up their llamas to get gear up to that aid station. So, as we were running down the mountain, the scenery became more green, and there were more trees. Then I saw the llamas, maybe about 30 of them, some laying down, some standing, all with halters on and tied down. Such a beautiful sight! I wished that I had thought about bringing the camera with me.

At the bottom of Hope’s Pass is a river crossing, which was quite deceptive. When I think of a river crossing, I think of one river, ONE. So we crossed a river, which was deathly cold, walked some, and there was another "river." I dealt with that ok, but my feet were hurting pretty badly from the cold. Then we walked more and there was a THIRD "river" to cross. And what made this one terrible is that it was the deepest of the three. The freezing cold water came up to my running shorts (which, as you runners out there know, are SHORT!).

I began pacing John over the second pass close to 1 AM Sunday. Sugarloaf Pass tops out around 11,100 feet or so. This felt a lot more difficult for me than Hope’s Pass. A large part of this I think was due to the time and lack of sleep. John did better on this pass than he did on Hope’s Pass. In fact, toward the end of run, which was on a muddy, rocky trail that was fairly flat, he managed around a 4 MPH clip. John finished his run around 9:30 AM Sunday. It is still hard to believe that he finished one of the hardest races in the country.

Unfortunately, though, John had to go to the hospital due to a large red swelling on the top of his foot. The doctors at the race thought that the swelling was due to tendonitis, but wanted him to get it X-rayed just in case. So off to the hospital we went. Luckily, because it was a small town, there was no wait at the ER. The doctor there did not take an X-ray because he felt it was tendonitis. The swelling in his feet, particularly the one foot, was incredible over the next day. He couldn’t even put on regular shoes. John’s walking is almost normal today. If you want to read John’s version of the race, go to www.yetifunk.com to get his report. There are some race pics on there too. I will be posting more soon.
We made it back from Colorado Monday morning. While I had looked forward to that weekend and enjoyed myself, I was SOOO ready to come home! We did not get much sleep at all. Thursday morning we got up at 2 AM to begin the drive out; Thursday night was about 7 hours of sleep; then Friday night was 6 hours; followed by 3 hours’ worth of naps from Saturday 2AM till Sunday 10PM. Yesterday I took a few naps, but today I was literally asleep more than I was awake.

I am even more motivated to get back into ultra running after this race. I was really wishing that I had signed up for it too. Next year, I am going to do the Tahoe Rim Trail 50 and maybe Leadville if John does it again. I may try the American River 50, but it really depends on my knees. I was supposed to run that one this year. I paid for it and everything, but knees were giving me so much grief that I decided to not run it. I have IT Band issues which can be really debilitating. There’s just so much I want to do as an athlete, and not everything I want to do is compatible with each other.  I’ll figure out along the way how to make all my interests meld together.

It is 4:15 AM here in Leadville, and John is off and running. It is odd to think that in about 28 hours from now, he will be back to where he started. The race started on time, 4 AM sharp. Unfortunately, it was raining this morning, and it will probably continue to do so (snow and hail at times as well) over the next day. It was about 40 degrees or so this morning, which is a fairly decent temp for running. This year, there are over 500 runners, one of whom for which this is his 25th Leadville. Can you imagine running Leadville every year for a quarter century? Wow! That takes some guts. Of course, there are more men running than women. Yesterday, during the pre-race meeting, when the women who are running stood up, I suddenly wished that I had signed up–have to represent the bad a** women out there! Maybe next year…

We went to bed last night around 7:30, and John actually fell asleep at that time and stayed asleep for most of the night, which is fairly unusual for him. The alarm went off at 2 AM, and before long, John’s hair was colored and he was dancing. We headed down to a coffee shop that actually opened for us at 3 AM and had some coffee and breakfast (well, Anna and I did).  Me, I am tired, and my stomach hurts from lack of sleep. We just haven’t been able to get a decent amount of sleep for three nights now.

Today will be a long day, but a good one. I brought a lot of work with me as well as books. I am sure we will be sleeping in the car as well! I’ll try to update throughout the day, but am not sure how accessible internet access will be, seeing as how remote some of the areas are.

We leave tomorrow morning at 3 AM, but I wanted to post these pics really quick for all to see. We cut his hair into a Mohawk because John met his last-minute fund raising effort for the Leadville 100-mile run. We’ll take more pics this weekend with the hair properly colored (temporarily of course!) and styled! We may not have internet access, so it might have to wait till Monday after we get back.

BEFORE

DURING

AFTER