Wendy’s BodyBlog

Well, after I wrote that last blog and thinking about how hungry I am, I walked into the kitchen to get the phone and saw a jar of dry roasted peanuts, my favorite. Yup, I indulged. And on quite a few. Will have to put them AWAY so I do not see them and am therefore not tempted (that usually works for me!)

Well, it is the fourth day of my diet, and I am very hungry. I am eating starches every day (around 75 grams), keeping very clean, lots of protein, lots of veggies, some good fat, eating every 2-3 hours, and I am STILL hungry! This is why I hate dieting. I never feel satisfied. My calories rotate 1350, 1450, 1550 and the macros are 40/40/20. I lift four days a week and do cardio four days a week. Does it get easier??? Hopefully my stomach will shrink, and it won’t bother me anymore!

All this being said, because I have been so hungry, I decided to have a cheat once per week instead of once every two weeks. I have about 13 pounds to lose, and 16 weeks to do it, so I don’t want to go too crazy and get too little. So of course now all I am thinking about is what I can possibly stuff my face with come Sunday afternoon (am thinking the usual of pizza and ice cream…mmmmm). At least I will feel satisfied for that day and probably the next!

Other than that, things are going well. I do find dieting (or maybe just really clean eating) easier (mentally) when I have a specific time frame in mind.  I know I only have to do this for 16 weeks, and I am done. But who knows. Maybe I will develop some kick a** habits during this 16 week period. Am hoping so.

Next weekend (not this weekend!) is the Reno Tahoe Odyssey. Have been trying to get some miles in running. I really just want to be able to run each segment and feel ok, since I haven’t been running very much in the last several months. We each do three runs in 24 hours! I am sure I won’t sleep much either! There will be about 6 stinky bodies in one van, including mine! Haha! Should be fun, though.

Yesterday I curled 20 lb dumbbells! I was so happy! Have been working toward it for some time now. Also went to Brazilian jujitsu which was alright. Everyone there was obviously MUCH more advanced than me, and after the instructional part of the class, I pretty much sat on the mat watching people grapple. There was one other girl there. She was really nice, had been practicing for about three years, and suggested that maybe I start at a fundamentals class, which I didn’t know about. I think I will go on Friday to a basics class. And there are women’s only classes up in Tahoe, so maybe will try that as well. I think it’s important for women to learn with guys too (because obviously men are typically the ones women must defend against), but I might feel more comfortable learning with women, at least initially. We’ll see!

So I am on day 3 of my diet, and it is going well. I have been tempted, let me tell you. There is ice cream at home and tortilla chips at my bf’s house, but I resisted! I even resisted again having a piece of hard candy. I doubt it would have hurt, but in principle, I just did not want it. When I feel tempted, I just think to myself that in a few weeks (ok, 16 weeks) I will be getting on stage in a teeny-weeny two piece. I also think about wanting to place, which I know is out of my control, but it would be really nice. That thinking process seems to work for me for now. Maybe I will be able to get through this dieting bit in one piece after all.

Oh, forgot to mention one thing. I am thinking about learning Brazilian jujitsu. When I grow up and become a social worker, I want to work with the criminal population, and as a small woman, I think knowing how to defend yourself is very important. Well, that is true no matter.  I really want to go but I am feeling intimidated about going. I know that at the place I am looking into, there are tons of guys and not so many women.   I shouldn’t be intimidated–I mean, I am one of the few women at my gym who use free weights and lift heavy.  Curious if any of you women out there have ever had similar experiences?

Ok, well today is NOT four months out, but the 28th is! At any rate, I am starting my diet (meaning, religiously following the macros) tomorrow. I am going to try a cheat meal once every two weeks. My calories/macros rotate on a 3 day schedule. I have around 1350, 1450 and 1550 calories. Not much but I am not going to go crazy with the cardio till maybe 8 weeks out if need be. Of course, I am starting 16 weeks out instead of the typical 12 weeks so that I can have some wiggle room. I can’t believe that I am finally at this point! I have also decided to go ahead with Sylvia Tremblay for my suit. I am going with one of the cheapest (which means $350!) design, Art, in a bright pink color. I only need a two piece for Figure America, thank goodness. I don’t think I can afford two suits at this point.
I have been really tired lately and unmotivated to go to the gym. Of course I am still going but it is about all I can do to get there. And even when I am there, I am not getting a good pump. So I have been taking it easy, only doing about three days of cardio for a half hour each time while still getting in all of my lifting days. I am also sleeping as much as I can. I think I am just still recovering from the exhaustion that is grad school.  I’m sure the stress of having a new job has to do with it too (even if I LOVE my job!).

I also have to say that my bf is the greatest! As you may know, a source of tension in my life is his possibly getting transferred. This topic gets brought up at least once every other week, and his company can’t seem to make decisions very quickly or decisively. This last week brought the news of a possible relocation to Allentown, PA area (We live in NV). He would only go with a promotion, but  this would mean our being apart for  nearly a year. And I just don’t see myself wanting to be on the East Coast again anytime soon. So I have been tossing and turning over this for the last few nights (I am sure that has a lot to do with my being tired as well), between wanting to be supportive of him and his dreams and knowing in my heart what I want. Yesterday I finally told him and he said that if it is this stressful, then obviously that it is not the right thing to do and that he would not go if that means we have to break up. Awww!
Now, don’t get me wrong. He has another offer on the table, to transfer to Vegas. BUT at least that is still on the West Coast, and it is only an hour plane ride from Reno, which to me is manageable.

Anyway, off to clean the bathroom (Fun fun!) and then off to the gym!

I meant to go to the gym today. Really, I did. But somehow when it came time to get changed, I just couldn’t. I just REALLY did not want to. So, I came home and ran on the treadmill instead. Have I ever written on here how much I LOVE to run? I guess that might be obvious, since I have done distance running and lots of it.  Lifting is getting up there, too, but some days, I just don’t want to go to the gym. It’s the atmosphere. So today I warmed up for 5 minutes, then started at 9.5 min/mile, then every minute increased .5 min/mile till I got to a 7 min/mile. Stayed there for 2 minutes, then decreased down at .5 min/mile every minute till I went all the way back down to 9.5 min/mile. Did that for 50 minutes, cooled down for 5 minutes. And yes, I pushed myself really hard and yes, I did get sick about 10 minutes after I stopped… BUT unlike many people who vomit, I get "runner’s trots." Gross, I know. if you don’t know what they are, well, I hope you never do. But it felt good nonetheless (the workout, LOL!).

Oh, and the reason I ran for an hour is because my bf and I (along with 10 or so other people on our team) are doing the Reno-Tahoe Odyssey in early June. It is a 178 mile relay run. Starts in Reno, goes up and around Tahoe, and ends in Reno. Check it out here. So, each runner does three legs of 3 to 7 miles. These are not easy runs, either. Some are but going up into the Sierras and Tahoe, it can get pretty hilly, as you know. And of course, I have been doing lots of weights and sprints and the like and SOME longer runs, but not many. Should be fun even if exhausting. That will be my last real running effort until after the show in Sept. I will be pacing my bf for about 12-18 miles during his 100 mile, but he will be going SLOW at that point (pacers are only allowed after the halfway mark).

I will be beginning my dieting (or really following the macros that my trainer has given me to follow) in earnest on May 28. I will be four months out at that point. I am really kind of freaking out about the entire dieting aspect. Can i do it? Will I be successful? At that point, I will really need to keep my eye on the prize, which is to look great on stage! it might help if I order my suit soon and put it somewhere where I will see it EVERYDAY!!!
Oh, btw, not only is my bf needing people to donate to his cause for the Leadville 100, but he is also looking for pacers. If you are a runner and live in the Denver area and want to help pace, you can contact him at his BodySpace site at JohnA1978 or his website www.yetifunk.com. Like I said, at that point, he will pretty much be walking with some running, so don’t feel like you need to be fast. I should note that the race STARTS at 12,000 feet. AND by the time he hits the halfway point, it will be nighttime, so if you are interested in pacing, you should know that you will be pacing during the night or early morning. I’m not making this seem very fun, am I? But hopefully we can get a group together, so we can hang out together in between taking turns pacing…

So I have been training at my new job for a couple weeks but today was the first day that I actually met with a client on my own. I am working with kids with severe emotional and behavioral problems. My first client, let’s call her R, is a young girl who is currently living in an emergency shelter for kids. Her story is actually "typical" for too many children. Her parents were abusive and neglectful, and will lose their rights to her as parents. So of course she has emotional and behavioral problems. She is a serious girl for her age, and does not like other children very much (and for good reason which I won’t disclose here). She has other family, but none have stepped up to the plate to adopt her.  I watched her after I dropped her off as she was walking from the car to the building where her room is in. And my heart just sank. Here is a little girl with not a soul in the world who cares about her. Yes, I do, and so do her teachers and her social worker, but not to have that stability and love of a family. How lonely and scary the world must seem to her–all these people coming in and out of her life. It breaks my heart, and yet she is so friendly and so sweet, so full of life despite everything she has gone through in her short life. She inspires me.
At the same time, my experience today has only affirmed my decision to enter the profession for which I am working toward. We, as people with homes, jobs, and families, have so much to give. SO GIVE!!! GIVE YOUR TIME (AND GIVE YOUR MONEY BUT ESP YOUR TIME)! I PROMISE THAT IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!! Because we have SO MUCH To give and are SO fortunate!!!! IF YOU WANT KIDS, THINK ABOUT ADOPTION TOO AND NOT JUST THE BABIES–THINK ABOUT KIDS LIKE R. Find your passion and GIVE BACK TO THOSE WHO ARE LESS FORTUNATE! I truly believe that is our duty. I also believe that we can really make a difference socially as well as in people’s lives. Find your passion and start today!

No, not bed & breakfast, although that sounds FABULOUS now that summer is here! I mean back and biceps! today was a great workout. i took off 2 days entirely. no weights, no cardio, and it felt great. Two days is about all I can manage without working out. I really needed the break. I was really dragging physically and emotionally (emotionally because of the stress of school ending). But as of today, I am officially DONE with school! I completed my last few hours of graduate assistantship work today (my actual class work ended a couple days ago). I do have some homework to do over the summer to get me prepared for my thesis next school year, but I am going to take it easy for a while and not think about it.

Ok, back to my B&B workout.  I really think I am getting stronger. I did more weight on the T-bar row than I have ever done, and I should have pushed myself harder on the dumbbell Pullover (for the lats, not the chest). Today’s reps looked like 4/8/12/15, so I start with really heavy weights and get lighter as the reps go up. I kept the 40 pounds throughout the pullovers. I really underestimated myself there because I haven’t done this exercise very much. BUT NOW I KNOW!

Also, I did hammer curls and regular curls (3×15 for each), and used 15 pound dumbbells the ENTIRE time! A year ago when I was first starting to dabble in lifting, I could barely do 15 pounds, but now it seems that I will be ready to move up to the 20 lb dumbbells! Amazing what consistency will do, eh?

I do think there are a lot greater gains to be had for people who are still fairly new to lifting like me. I am sure that at some point I will hit a plateau, but until then, I am really enjoying my gains.

So, some sad news. My bf JohnA1978’s best friend has a tumor in his eye and the docs think that it is melanoma. I know, in the eye! He will see a dermatologist tomorrow to see if it has spread and then next week he will be flying out to Denver (he lives in Montana) to see a specialist. These two go way back, and I am really concerned about the both of them. I will hope and pray for the best…that is all we can really do…

My bf (JohnA1978) is running two ultra-marathons this summer, the Tahoe Rim Trail 50, and the Leadville 100. This will be his first 100, so we are both very excited! He is running both of these to raise money for the Children’s Tumor Foundation. If you want to support his cause or just check out his web page, go to www.yetifunk.com

My legs workout kicked my bum today! I am really disliking this month’s legs workout–lunges, lunges and more lunges! Gets boring, but I can really feel the burn at the end of my workout, so at least I know it is doing something good for me. Plus, am doing it on a 301 tempo, at least today I was, and that HURTS! last week it was the exploding back up that hurt but this week, it definitely hurt more going down.

Also, I don’t know if this is normal, maybe it is? I am about 4.5 months out and now that I know that in 1.5 months, I will have to diet pretty hard, all I want to do now is EAT and everything in sight! Boy, that is some self-sabotaging, eh? As if I will never, ever get anything tasty ever again! Ah-veh.

But the good thing is that over the past month or so, I have relaxed my diet some. I am not really beating myself up as much as I used to. I think this is because I tell myself I am bulking and therefore am not supposed to look like I am ready for a show.

One more random thought. Last night I slept for 12 hours and was STILL tired! This school year and all of this training has really taken its toll on me, I think. Last night I turned in my last homework assignment, and on Tuesday, I will be DONE with school for the summer! No more classes, no more graduate assistantship work (thank goodness because one professor I work for makes me feel like I am crazy…as in, asking other people if what I did or said or assumed was in line…really makes me question my every action… and she’s a social worker!  makes you wonder…)