Is this cheating?
I want your honest opinions on this. It’s not an easy decision, don’t get me wrong. The first time I contemplated it I felt like a failure. Now…it’s almost necessary.
For those who have checked out my blog, you know that I have lost about 80lbs. Great yes. A long and exhausting road DOUBLE yes. I have the knowledge, have the experience but the motivation is touchy at the moment. Very fragile. For the first time in a long time mentally distraught and doing the old "why did I let myself get this way??" You know…the pity party. SO thought I was past that. Motivation seems to come and go. When the motivation is here, it’s unstoppable. When it’s gone it’s hard to get back. I know it’s a journey but you still have to focus on a long term goal, achieved by a series of short ones. That’s how I got this far.
Right now the long term goal seems very far away and I think it’s going to help me to change my mindset. The usual tactics aren’t working.
I’ve decided to change it from 150 lbs to 170 lbs. This will mean there is 60 lbs to lose not 80 more. I have good reason so please read on before you blast me..lol. The focus on scale numbers makes me NUTS. Ever see that commercial in which everyone is walking around with a scale attached to their leg by a chain? That’s how I feel at the moment. However at the same time I believe that when you are VERY heavy as I was(topped at 310lbs) the number should move. Yes you can be changing body composition which is great and is important progress but eventually the numbers have to move, whether it be weekly or monthly. Also when you have a very thick layer of fat you can’t see muscle, at all. It adds to the frustration.
So the plan is…
Change long term goal to 170 lbs. Take the focus off of the big numbers and move forward with the goal to lose 60 lbs. That’s it, nothing more. This will not be my final weight obviously but it will be the marker at which I switch from scale monitoring to visual monitoring (of course continuing to take measurements)
By then I’ll see muscle, the ultimate achievement.
August 23, 2009 at 10:04 am
Just a suggestion - why not stop focusing on the numbers and the scale altogether? Why not just have a set point that you write down on paper, and revisit time to time, but stay focused on the day to day changes. My achilles heel at this point is body fat, so instead of the BIG picture, I focus on the little incremental changes on the tape measure. Slow and patient wins the race. Good luck; you will do this:-)
August 23, 2009 at 10:08 am
Thank you
Yes I’ve pondered that and still thinking about it. It would be so freeing but I’m afraid. There was a period of many years I didn’t even own a scale. Next thing you know I’m 310 lbs. I guess I need to stop being driven by fear however in a way, it’s responsible for the losses so far. Your very right though.
August 23, 2009 at 10:13 am
Keep the fear, but use it to fuel your drive. It really helps me to honor the small changes because I know eventually they’ll add up to big ones. You’ve done a great job thus far and I have not doubt that you will get to the finish line. Just ease up on yourself and enjoy the accomplishments:-)
August 23, 2009 at 10:43 am
My goodness, girl. You have come such a long way! I can’t really offer any real solutions. All my battles have been different (it helps to remember we all have them) but I wanted to give you a VERY big thumbs up. Good work and keep it up!
August 23, 2009 at 4:05 pm
How about smaller shorter term goals?
10 lbs over the next two months?
You know how long a haul it has been already for you. Look at all you have done! Chopping the goal down might make it more manageable and less psychologically daunting. I know that you can get where you want to go. We all have times when we feel like we are getting nowhere. This too will pass…
August 23, 2009 at 11:40 pm
Hi Dee, I hope this isn’t too bizaree with a stranger chiming in but I found your post through one of the bodygroups and I know exactly where you’re coming from (being almost at the same point you are right now and with a very similar goal, and frustrations to boot!)
It is incredibly daunting to stare down the barrell at weight loss goals and not see the light, but a promise of what the light may look like if you can make it that far. Your achievements to get to this point are fantastic, I cannot fathom what it must have taken. I too have obsessed over scale numbers, only for them to be conflicting and erratic. It drove me to the point of wondering whether i could ever do anything right an how I would ever make it to the end if I couldnt make the scale go in one direction only, every single day. The best advice I ever received was just to put them away. Not to ignore them by any means, but to let all the hard work you put in do its job without scrutinising it too much. Funnily enough it worked a treat, and before I knew it the kg’s were dropping off and I was surprised and pleased to have lost anything rather than being disappointed that I had not kept up with some imaginary schedule. I really dont think your new goal is cheating, its simply giving you a different appoach to how you will measure your final achievement. After all, the scale numbers are meaningless compared to how you feel within yourself so why let it mentally hold you back? Whatever gets you there, I say. And good luck, transformation of the year 2011!
August 26, 2009 at 11:56 am
Thank you all for commenting. Stranger or no stranger, everything you said gives me a new perspective… which is how I got this far.
I know that in reality a much lower weight is the healthy one, but what matters right now is the journey there.
September 26, 2009 at 5:26 am
Hey Dee - It’s never easy. Psych yourself up, get Angry, get Pissed get in a Rage and "Rock-N-Roll". You have already done it and if anything, raise the goal don’t drop it. Take pictures leave notes, everyone will think your "Nuts" but who cares. Personally I have a lot of respect for what you have already done and I want to meet you when you hit the 190 goal so we can laugh about it. When I see someone overweight in the gym I give them a tap and say keep it up. Have to respect the effort. So in closing "Just Do It Girl" get mean, nasty and lean. -E-
November 2, 2009 at 1:22 pm
I know how you feel. I’m coming back after gaining 45 pounds. This time around I’m thinking about it differently. Yes, I want to drop pounds of fat off my body. But obsessing over a scale did not help me. I had to deal with a lot of emotional stuff but also, I had to end my obsession with the scale. The scale is a tool but not a judge and jury. The only choice you have if you want to be healthy is to continue to live your current healthy lifestyle. If you stayed at 229 but continued ot be healthy you’d be in better shape than if you let that lifestyle go. That’s all that’s really important in the end. Enjoy your life and be healthy. Do that and when you step on that scale it will probably go down.