vis viva’s BodyBlog

Ran into another competitor at the gym today- she looks fantastic!  She is dieting down for a photo shoot she has this weekend and I couldn’t be more thrilled for her (and empathetic to her dieting restrictions). She looked so happy and pleased to be working in modeling and it struck me- wow this is her job!  She could choose to do anything and she choose this.  And I let my mind wander- could I make that choice? Could I choose to try this as a ‘job’?

Comfortably and without envy, I responded to myself a resounding "No".  I love my career currently and am looking forward to starting up with my Master’s degree in the Spring- modeling is not something I would enjoy, nor want to pursue on a regular basis.  It really just solidified why I am doing this competition- to gain insight into healthy eating, training and state of mind regarding my body image.  My motivation does not lie in extrinsic rewards or recognition, but my own personal growth.  I feel great peace with that.

Anyway- getting less reflective: Arm workout blasted out today.  Feeling a huge pump in my triceps and biceps right now and love wearing a sleeveless cashmere sweater to show them off (unfortunately under a suit jacket- but they are there!).  Should I turn up the heat in the office so I can take off my jacket? Hahaha.

Hard to get out of bed for cardio this morning.  Tomorrow is my last day of training and then I’m off until Sunday.   Really feeling so exhausted both sleepy and body- a combination of lack of sleep and lower carbs this week really taking it’s toll.  I had aimed to do another cardio session today to make up for monday, but since it’s optional, I think I’ll save what energy I have left for my well-being.

Peace

Had a worthwhile back workout today- feeling the fatigue and looking forward to that definition when I lean out more.  Cardio was great as well- the time goes by so much faster with a new playlist.  I am enjoying getting used to a routine in the gym where I Know what I’m doing and when and lifting how much.  Before this structure, I would design something myself, but be more flexible with it, often wasting time in the gym by trying new things out too often.

Annoying comment of the day (so far): "Oh Kiddo,  you’re so lucky you have such a great figure".

Luck has nothing to do with it.  Getting up at 0430 every day, getting into the gym by 0900 every day, eating according to my meal plan every day- has everything to do with it.  And what’s with this ‘kiddo’ stuff?

Unbelievably spontaneous hurdles to overcome these last few days with nutrition and training.  First, getting stuck in a severe winter storm on a deserted gravel highway on Sunday night threw my sleep cycle (and well-being) into a tailspin.  With -50C white out outside the car and -30C inside the car, my stress reserves were entirely depleted by the time I got home.  Monday morning I work up with my eyesite entirely gone and nauseaus as h$*&.  I couldn’t crawl to my ensuite let alone get on the treadmill for cardio and into the gym to pump legs.  I stuck to my meal plan while I was home sick even though the last think I wanted to do was eat chicken and rice.

So Tuesday is a new day.  I wanted to start the week all over again strong and energized.  Getting up at 0430 for my morning cardio session felt great.  I also sat for a 5min meditation afterwards which made my morning a lot more peaceful with my partner.  I got to the gym and superset yesterday’s leg workout with today’s chest workout.  Got it done in the same time as I would have doing only one workout so I feel wasted, but accomplished.  Sunday I had put in an extra cardio session, so I don’t feel so bad about missing monday, but I think I will try to get a second cardio session in on Thurs to make up for it anyway.

I’m going to get more sleep tonight- got to get my energy reserves back up.  Also, going to cut out sugar substitutes and caffeine this week- I need a cleanse.

My body reacted so violently to my treat this week- pizza and ice cream sundae.  It’s definitely reacting to the fat and sugar.  I’ve totally learned my lesson about treat meals- keep them as clean as possible but still address any cravings.  I don’t want to put any processed crap in my  body anymore-  I didn’t when I wasn’t competition dieting, so why would I now? My biggest weakness before this process was Kraft smooth pb, right out of the jar with a spoon- now I can’t even open the jar without getting ill- it even smells like plastic.
My nutritionist dropped rice from one of my meals and replaced it with veggies.  And then reduced my veggies for my last meal of the day.  This is similar to what I was eating before this dieting, so I’m encouraged and ready for the week.

I am starting to wear my heels around the house, they aren’t the 4′ that I will wear, but they haven’t come in yet.  Anything to get me up and practicing- shoulders back, stomach in, smile.

Goals for this week- incorporate at least 5 min of meditation into my morning and evening routines.  Book a studio for me, Juliet_Virgo and W2BF to practice in our heels sometime in Feb.  To shop for tops for my theme wear.  Keep a positive, humble mindset.

Last week I aimed to get my shoes- well they are ordered.  I figured out the music conundrum.  I also aimed to get more sleep- didn’t turn out so well as I got less than ever staying up to watch movies in the evening-stupid.  I will get more sleep this week.  But I’m on the road today and won’t return till 11pm.  Makes the 0430am cardio a chore.

No weight change this week. I’m encouraged by the emerging definition in my arms and abs- I even feel like my butt sits higher.  I am going to have to get a fab belt because my pants no longer sit on my waist, they are falling down my hips.  I look forward to my trainer/nutritionist’s assessment of how I’m doing.  Although initially it’s hard to see the number on the scale stay the same, after a mental adjustment, I’m feeling ok about it. I’m loving this process.

I got fitted for my posing suits yesterday; Juliet_Virgo and I went together. It was great fun with the seamstress; she knows what she is doing and picked some gorgeous colors for us both.  Also, thanks to Wish2BFit the three of us got into a posing clinic (only 10 spots available)!  Cheers to you W2BF!

Today I will go to a Pampered Chef party my aunt is throwing; you know the ones where they whip up gourmet food to eat with the kitchen gadgets they want you to buy? Yes, temptation will be paramount.  But I’ve got a super game plan- Brownies and Pizza.  When I get through the party without cheating, I will  get home and enjoy a meal I have chosen as my treat.  It’s going to work- wait and see!

I’ll set my weekly goals once I see what my trainer sends me this week. I’ll also review last week and see how I did.

Happy Weekend!

I was struck today by how beautiful it is when it’s cold- the ground is white and the trees covered in frost. Curious that a dead tree is so beautiful draped in icy crystals; it made me think about all the ways humans have come up with to hide toxic bodies under designer fashions- to paste over unhealthy skin with make-up.  Like the winter trees, our bodies can sparkle on the outside, but be lethargic on the inside.  If only we put that much effort into making ourselves  healthy, our bodies hard from training, our skin glow from health.
Good training day today- although my shoulders don’t feel as tired as they could.  Let’s see tomorrow though.  Cardio was tough today- I really had to push myself out of bed at 430am, thinking ‘it’s the last time this week!’ got me out.
I’m thrilled about getting sized for my posing suits this afternoon with a well-known suit-maker.  She’s come highly recommended, which is great as I am going to rely on her expertise for colors.

I wrote "So excited" in my journal today about my arms workout.  I wanted to push to see if I could fatigue my triceps more than ever- and I did.  When I was leaving the gym, I saw my ’so excited’ note and felt awesome all over again.  I’m so thankful I get that 1 hr in the gym for myself away from work and life stressors.  Workouts don’t have to be a drag in your schedule, they can be the one spark in your day.

I’m currently enjoying chicken and quinoa; I added cumin seeds to my quinoa and it’s fantastic- try it.

My back workout yesterday was more effective than I thought it would be; i really pushed through feeling like crap.  It’s fatigued today.  Pretty amazing what the mind can do over the body.  I’m feeling good today, if a little tired.

This weekend I have a party I get to go to which I am thrilled about, but last night I dreamt I ruined my contest prep by horking out on all the tasty nibblies I know the hostess will have.  She’s so thoughtful and usually buys or makes gourmet gluten free bakery goods and snacks just for me when I go.  Obviously I’m worried about caving to temptation, so I will set some goals around it.  I will pack my meals and make them especially appetizing looking so I don’t feel deprived.  I will plan my treat meal menu and get all the groceries for it, so I have a meal I am looking forward to.

Here I goooooo…..

Did not want to get sick, so I strayed from my normal herbal preventative medicine and tried Cold FX.  I could not sleep last night and woke up this morning with a migraine headache. I get ‘aura’s where I can’t see a thing, then it transfers to pain and nausea.  I finished my morning cardio before it hit, but am feeling sick now.  So the cold is kicked, but I’m feeling like i’m wearing a pain-helmet.

I’m late on my meals, but still getting one in before I head to the gym.  I’ll try it out but I don’t think it will be the hardest back training I’ve ever done.

I’m super though- really excited about getting my FAME posters to put up as motivational and promotional items.  I’m hoping my shoes will arrive soon.  Thanks to Wish2BFit for solving my music dilemma.  I have chosen my themes, so I’m feeling good about the competition.  This morning my meditation helped center me again.  I choose to make this the best possible day- although there is so much swirling around me, I have myself.  And that is all one needs.  If I choose to push through feeling like crap, then I can.

Last night I finally got to see Live Free or Die Hard. I just love the Die Hard series- probably because Bruce Willis is still looking so good.

It’s 550am.  I’ve been up since 0400.  Can’t sleep.  My throat is swollen to double size and it’s a good thing this isn’t an audio blog because I have no voice- nor energy to talk.  I did get up and do my cardio- 35min but wondering how the weight session will go at 0830.  I can’t get sick. There are so many roadblocks on this road already without a runny nose, sore throat, nausea and headache.  ugh.

14 days into my competition diet and training I am at 15% BF.  I lost 2% BF in the last two weeks, and gained 2lbs of lean muscle.  I’m dropping mm’s too.  It’s encouraging.  Also encouraging is my partner has begun a meal plan so similar to mine, it’s like prepping my own meals (with slight adjustments).  I am so pleased and happy that he has become so supportive.  Even at my treat meal on Saturday, when I couldn’t decide between two desserts, he ordered one so I could try both.  He’s really come around and I’m so proud of him.

This week, I aim to get my shoes! Figure out if I need music or not for a fitness model (and if I do, then choose it).  I will also get fitted for my posing suit.  I hope she helps choose colors too.  I want to lift heavy and stick to my cardio hard!  I want to increase the amount of sleep I am getting so I feel better doing my 0500 cardio sessions.

All’s well so far.  Let’s see how the next couple weeks shape up.