t’s wife BodyBlog

We spent the weekend in Bristol, TN enjoying the NASCAR race.  Not a whole lot of healthy food choices down south, not mention that NASCAR races seem to focus a good bit on fast cars and lots of booze (I guess it makes all those left turns more exciting?).

I start my fall session teaching spinning today; it will give me a good structure to base my personal routines on.  It has been crazy this last month, I’m really longing for the routine again. One more weekend on the road and then I’m ready to settle in.

My little one starts Kindergarten next week so I need to get my system in place so I can prepare myself for all of the case management and meetings that I will have to contend with.  I feel incredibly optimistic for my little guy though, I think we are going to see real progress in his development as some of his autistic symptoms lessen from the structure.

It took me a solid 5 days to get my head right after making the decision to resign from the competition.  After a good deal of introspection and conversations with my husband and work out partner, I’m beginning to see what a detrimental effect my figure coach had on me.  The funny thing was, as a trainer, I would never have imposed the type of regiment on my clients that she imposed upon me.  Honestly, she burnt me out way too early.  I’m also not sure that I’m cut out for competing either!

I was able to pull in and tend to the home and the family last week and that felt incredibly rewarding.  I hit the gym today with my WOP and it was so much fun.  We laughed and joked.  No pressure, just the enjoyment that I used to have before the insanity.

I appreciate all of the amazing and supportive comments that many of you left me; it was unbelievably touching considering I felt pretty ashamed of resigning. Thank you!

I’m not ready for my competition; I’ve resigned my spot in the Sept 6th show.  I was desperately unhappy with the process and the results.  More than anything, I felt the need to pull in, the need to take care of my family.  Competing is a difficult and narcissistic pursuit for me; I need to be mommy and wife again to regain my center.  I need to be present at the job that puts money in the bank and money in my retirement account.  I’ve been more than a bit depressed since making the decision last Saturday.  I feel much like I did when I split up with my exhusband; relieved and depressed (more relieved).

My admiration for the women that do this has grown ten-fold; I unfortunately, don’t think I’m cut out to be one of them.   Some teach and some do, I’m okay to teach.  I thought I liked all the attention but I’m finding anonymity and joy in other’s accomplishments much more satisfying.

Hey, I just wanted to let everyone that my suit designer has added me to their site! 

http://www.figure.suitsyouswimwear.com/home.php?gazpart=show&gazgal=57

As I’ve said before, they were awesome!  The suit is beautiful, they responded to all my inquiries and it was delivered exactly when they said it would.

 Check them out www.suitsyouswimwear.com

Thanks Clyde & Lucy!

I can’t remember being as beat down or exhausted as I was yesterday.  It was truly my first keto day and, man, did it kick my ass.  I also barely took in 1100 calories so that was another issue.

I’m up early today, got the chicken baking for lunch, going to do my hour pre breakfast cardio, have time to hit the gym at lunch and then I meet with my trainer tonight.

I’m pretty damn good about planning but what I’m realizing is that planning’s not enough, I need to stay the course even when everyone else wants me to do something else.

Does this get easier?  I’m just really starting my cutting for my comp which is a month out.  My diet consists of protein & vegies, whey, protein & starch, whey, protein & veggies, and casein.  This is my life for the next couple of weeks.  I’m doing my 2 cardio sessions and my lifting each day.  I’m lethargic and have a headache.  Honestly, it’s moments like these, I’d rather be fat

I planned on getting up early but I was so damn bone tired (it tooks us 2 days to get back from Jamaica~thanks American Airlines ) that my kids actually woke me up.  I’m slugging down my joe, trying to figure out how I can get an hour of steady state in, lift and 45 of intervals all while washing clothes for work, balancing the checkbook, feeding the brood and getting ready to leave for a surprise party (to which I’ll have to pack my own food).  I need a vacation to recover from vacation.  Oh well, time to hit the saddle and ride.

Everytin Irie….as they say in Jamaica.  Time to really start cutting and getting serious.  I realized that it was 9:30 here and I had only eaten 1000 cal and 109 g of protein.  Sheeet!  Canned tuna to the rescue, 190 cal and 42 g protein.

I got to the gym late today and it totally screwed up my workout; I ended up having to leave because they were closing and had to finish my leg workout at home.  Tomorrow I’ll need to get up at the ass crack of dawn to squeeze in my 2 cardios and a lift before I have to head out to a surprise party.  I haven’t even had a chance to unpack yet.

I’ve updated my gallery and my progress pics. My hubby is wonderful with the camera.  I looked at those pictures and couldn’t believe they were me, he made me look so pretty.  We have a few spectacular nudes that he took of me in a waterfall. I can’t believe that’s what I look like at 40.

So this is what it is to be 40…way more fun, just a lot longer to recover!  Jamaica was so beautiful and I actually ate and worked out very well.   My down fall were my cocktails but, hell, it was my 40th birthday and I was in Jamaica.  I usually did cardio and lifting for a couple of hours a day and then danced for hours at night.   My quads and calves are still sore from all that dancing.

My husband took some spectacular physique photos of me unfortunately I have to order a new cable for my computer to upload them.  I’m going to send one in to Oxygen and the OCB magazine.

Well, I’m 4 weeks out.  I heard from the nutritionist and I’m hoping to meet with him and get a custom cut diet this week.  I’m going to creatine load for 2 weeks, and then no creatine for the last 2 weeks to counter the water retention. 

I need to get a good night’s sleep and get reacquainted with real life!

I’m 2 days away from leaving for Jamaica to celebrate my 40th birthday!!! Today is my last day at work (which of course, is booked) and my intention is to hit the gym hard tonight and tomorrow.  Thursday we fly out at 6 a.m. so I’ll be en route.

My intention for Jamaica is to nap as much as humanely possible!  I’m going to start swimming again while I’m done there to hit my lats extra.  I’ve got my supps and individual whey packets ready to go.  When I get back there will be no fooling around because I’ll be 4 weeks out *gulp*.