So frustrated.
I’m so mad at myself! The grueling workout that I’d planned for myself yesterday evening ended up being a half-assed one where I went home feeling worse than before I went. Because my boyfriend wasn’t able to get off work until after 8, and we’d planned to go together, we didn’t end up getting to the gym until 9. The half an hour I’d planned to run on the treadmill turned into 15 difficult minutes, and my abs feel nothing this morning as a result of my so-called ab workout.
My marathon is on Sunday, and I’m so nervous for it that I feel sick. I’ve been keeping up with my runs, but I don’t feel very confident right now and doubt has been creeping into my mind, as much as I try to resist it. The fear of not finishing, or even of finishing with a really bad time, has added to the already huge pressure I feel. While the fact that my family and friends know I am running this marathon and are interested in my results has been encouraging, it has also been a source of pressure, which hasn’t been good for my emotions OR performance. I need to re-evaluate my attitude and realize that I am running this for myself, not everyone else. It’s hard sometimes.
