life after 40…
40 posts that is…
I have not updated my stats in a while, so I’m planning on checking how bad off i am lately. I’ve cut cardio way too much and the eating is not as rigorous as I would like it to be. A lack of planning on my part. Nevertheless, I am not backing out.
One of my friends seemed to be happy when I decided not to go to the gym. The one thing I like doing, and I can’t have that. Really nice, eh? I feel bad that I can’t find people to talk about dieting, and working out outside of this venue. I actually hate that. I’m looked at as obsessive, because this is what I like to do. "Too thin, too muscular, etc" Has someone looked at my pics?! seriously! Is it that I AM too thin/muscular/etc based on what the average body looks like; or am I defying someones image of myself? It’s easier for me to be seen as always watching over people. I guess i can set aside whatever I want to just pay attention to the few friends I have and their problems, while I see myself growing older and just watching e-ve-ry opportunity go to waste.
Truth is, I am tired, of being anyone’s confident. I’ve wound up being that persons emotional punching bag also, and this year that thing stopped.
Bodybuilding is the one thing I have going for me. I love it, and if I had to choose one thing to do primarily, one lifestyle to follow, it would be this one.
That’s all…
October 25, 2009 at 6:49 pm
OK! That felt good! A little bit of remorse for thinking I’m an idiot for posting my emotions; but a lot of just typing that on screen and venting out. I really, really am getting to a point that i don’t care.
October 25, 2009 at 7:20 pm
I really do know what you mean. For years I’ve put everyone ahead of myself. I took on my friends drama and made it my own. When I finally stiff-armed them and worked on myself, they always seemed to be sabotaging me or giving me weird looks like ‘why do you want to go to the gym instead of starbucks with me?’ Uh duh…so I don’t look all fat and doughy! If they truly your friends then they will support you no matter what. If they give you grief, stiff arm them and go it alone. In the end, you have to be happy with you.