Dreams and Changes
It’s been quite a while….but no worries. I’m here! 
So the other day, while I was outside sitting in the grass in the hot sun, I started to think to myself. What kind of a person will I be in five years from now? How much will I have changed? What about ten years? Will my morals, my habits, my attitude be the same?
As much as I love my life the way it is right now, I know there’s going to be change. I used to be against change. It was almost as if I refused to grow up. I wanted to stay little, stop working, sit at home, watch cartoons, and eat Fruity Pebbles. I didn’t want to have “responsiblity” for anything! “To hell with it all!” I would say. 
Oh, but that’s not the type of attitude that will get you what you want. I learned that the hard way. I went through a period of time when I was so lazy, I worried that I might never accomplish anything in life. As highly motivated as I was mentally, I took no action. It was depressing. How did I overcome it? I let it take it’s course. I let myself be lazy. I didn’t get mad at myself anymore. It sounds stupid, but it works. You can only be lazy for a certain amount of time until your desires begin to overpower you and you NEED to take action. You WANT to take action. So if you’re lazy now, don’t worry. You won’t be this way forever.
My parents tell me that I should’ve been born in the 70s, what with my laid back easy-going character. I feel no strain, I’m in no rush, and I like to be unconventional. I like to make life slow down for me, because it goes too fast sometimes. I’m sure it would’ve been nice, but I was born in the 80s for a reason. haha
I love to think of myself as a dreamer, an artist, someone with a mystical soul. I want to live my life singing and dancing, writing and baking, loving and being loved, laughing and being laughed at! While my parents are pushing for me to go to Pharmacy school, I’m secretly applying to Film schools across the country. I’m sending out screenplays and manuscripts, and when they think I’m “cleaning my room,” I’m actually writing songs and playing them on my battery powered Casio piano.
When people ask me what I want to do with my life-I lie. I’ll say I want to go into pharmacy and wait for that impressed look on their faces. I dare not tell them what I really want to do. It’s too sacred to me. My dreams are like my children. I cannot expose them to people who do not cherish them the way I do. Who do not believe in their existence the way I believe they already exist. I might be striving to live in a world of complete fantasy, but if it makes me happy, nothing else matters. I love to believe in the unbelievable because believing in it makes it believable. I read somewhere that YOUR IMAGINATION IS MORE REAL THAN REALITY. It sure is.
So for those of you who have dreams, whether you still believe in them or not, they never die. DREAMS NEVER DIE. You may think they’re dead, but you are fooled. You know what I’m talking about. That puzzled feeling you have everytime you get up for work because you know the work you are doing is not for you. Everytime you ignore one of your talents, everytime you complain that your life is not going the way you want it to, and times you find yourself crying or unable to sleep at night…these are the times your dreams are haunting you. Do not ignore your dreams. You’re not too young, you’re not too old…you dreamt the dream you dreamt because God knows that you are capable of bringing it into existence…
…Otherwise, He would’ve never let you dream it to begin with.
June 1, 2007 at 11:37 am
I could have written this.
June 29, 2007 at 7:07 pm
Hey -great blog!
I think you should do something that involves creative writing -how would I know.
Take the first step towards your dreams and you’ll get there.
July 5, 2007 at 6:48 am
That’s exactly what I plan on doing! Thanks!