urbanmommy’s BodyBlog

Before I go into the "How To’s" of getting a hangover (without the use of alcohol), I should explain how I got myself into this situation in the first place.

In my previous blogs, I explained in great detail how I will be competing in my first ever figure competition. If you are not familiar with figure competitions, let me sum up the judging criteria: the tightest body, wearing the tightest bikini wins. Ok…there’s a lot more to winning than that (there’s the walk and the pose and the smile and many other factors involved). But basically, you’ve got to have a hard body. And to get that hard body, one must have a diet that is pretty near perfect.

Last week, my trainers outlined my competition diet for me. Many of you know how fanatical I am about my diet. Nutrition is very important to me. I’ve spent the last 6+ months perfecting my 6 small meals a day menu, planning it out every nite, getting a protein and a carb at every meal. By building up a great deal of lean body mass, I am able to eat around 1800 calories per day and maintain my weight and body fat %. Not bad!!

Imagine my shock when my trainers handed me a diet with 5 meals that equal around 1250 calories. What??????

Stay with me here. 1200 calories is the minimum number of calories a woman should eat just to breathe. Throw in weight training and cardio activity and you are looking at 1500 calories minimum needed. So, why would they do this? The purpose is to burn as much fat as possible while maintaining all my hard earned muscle.

In order to keep my sanity, they have allowed me one cheat day a week. Let me explain my "cheat day" as it was explained to me. If it isn’t nailed down, you can eat it. Indulge all day , if I must. "Really?" I asked them. "Yep. You’ve got to! You will go mad if you had to eat so little and workout so hard and not give your body a jump start once a week to indulge."

So, if you average out my weekly calories, including my cheat day, I am easily getting the same number of calories I normally eat. Ok…enough of the explaining. Here’s how I got my "hangover."

Sundays have been declared as "Kim’s Cheat Day." And I was so excited about yesterday! I’m visiting my MIL’s for Easter/Spring Break, and she is quite a cook. I wanted to enjoy it all!! I went to bed on Saturday nite, dreaming of Sunday morning. Beside my bed, I placed a peanut butter chocolate Easter Egg. My first splurge of the day. Why get out of bed to eat?, I said to myself. As soon as I wake up in the morning, I’ll start my cheat day.

I woke up at 4:30 in the flippin’ a.m.!!! And I couldn’t go back to sleep. I grabbed that egg and in 5 seconds, the foil was off and the egg was on my tongue. HALLEUJAH!! JOY!! RAPTURE!! ABSOLUTE PLEASURE!!

Breakfast came soon after: 2 slices of toast, 2 HEAPING tablespoons of peanut butter (not my healthy power PB, folks…the bad PB! ), and a sliced banana. My lovely PB/Banana sandwich. And my coffee? Oh, man. I CAN HAVE CREAMER!!!! I swear, half my coffee mug was creamer and half was coffee.

And so the feast began. I was out of control! The kids’ Easter baskets, so sweetly decorated and filled with peanut M&M’s….sorry, Kids. M&M’s are Mommy’s fav! Down they go. I can’t tell you how many of those crazy things I ate yesterday. And I just kept going:

Pork Rinds, crackers, chips, ham, deviled eggs, pizza, bacon (lots of bacon!), 4% milk, cookies, pies, cakes, some little cinnamon twisty things that were the bomb!, etc…..

At 1:30 p.m., I had to stop. My stomach was beyond sick. I laid down and took a quick nap. But not too long! It was still my cheat day, afterall.

The above list of forbidden foods got eaten again…and again.

At 9:00 p.m., I said "Enough."

And then, the pains began. You could not pay me a million bucks to look at my gastrointestinal system. I have never felt that kind of pain in my stomach…EVER! The nausea, the heartburn, the body aches, the headache. Ugh…

I woke up at 7:00 a.m. this morning with a headache that can not be explained. The body aches, the dizziness, the inability to make a fist…oh my.! This sugar/carb/fat-induced hangover surpasses anything that alcohol can produce. And believe me: I’ve had my share of alcohol hangovers. Those pale in comparison.

As I sat down to my tiny bowl of oatmeal, 1 scoop of protein powder, 1/2 banana, and black coffee, I was elated. Sick and sore, but elated. The simplicity of my 1250 calorie days was like an answer to prayer. I now understand why my trainers encouraged me to indulge. It proves a very strong point: you will want to stick to this diet 6 days a week. And you won’t cry about it anymore.

So, when Sunday rolls around again, no more binges. No more insane hunting for the closest junk food. I’ll be smart and enjoy my small, carefully portioned out cheat foods.

But I’ll keep my Zantac close at hand…just in case.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 25th, 2008 at 4:30 am and is filed under Training. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.