urbanmommy’s BodyBlog

Have you ever dreamed a dream and actually had it come true? 

I HAVE!!!! 

On Saturday, I walked out onto the stage at the University Of D.C. and competed in the NPC East Coast Natural Tournament of Champions. 

ME!!!  Me….the girl who couldn’t do 5 minutes on the stair master.  Me….the girl who never got a date in high school.  Me…the girl who fought and fought with her weight and bad body image.

And not only did I compete…BUT I PLACED!! 

I competed in 2 divisions:  Figure Masters (over 35) and Figure Open Short Class (under 5′4").  In the Figure Masters, I placed 2nd.  In the Figure Open, I placed 3rd!!

Can you believe it?  I’m still in awe.  But I’m not really in awe over winning the trophies.  Yeah, that was amazing and unbelievable.  The real moment hit me when I was backstage with all the other competitors.  As I’m walking around in my bikini, having my make-up done, and pumping up before the show, I watched people.  It dawned on me that I was here!!!!!!!  It was NOT just a story I read about in Oxygen or other fitness mags.  IT WAS HAPPENING TO ME!! 

Then the real kicker.  The announcement:  "ALL ATHLETES TO THE PRE-SHOW MEETING." 

Athletes?  Oh, they must mean the competitors….

Wait…I’m a competitor.  OMGosh….I’m an athlete!!!  

I began to think back to all my years of struggling with my weight, wanting so badly to just tuck my shirt into my jeans and wear a belt!   Instead, I hid behind the big shirts and the oversized swimsuits.  And now, God has allowed me to enjoy His blessings!  I now am able to reap the benefits of clean eating and smart training. 

It will take me several days to give you all the details of my experience.  Check back on my figure competition blog and you’ll get all the info you  need.  I will say this:  I’ve never been so scared and so excited at the time!  It was thrilling and frightening. 

I’ve definitely been bitten by the "Competition Bug."  And I’m ready to do it all again for my competition in August.  8 weeks from now, I’ll try for a 1st place finish.

Thank you all so much for your comments, and emails.  I’m sorry if I haven’t replied to you yet…I will really try to get back to everyone to thank you personally!!

I took my trophies to my "Biggest Loser" team meeting last night.  (Yes, I am a Trainer/Coach for a Biggest Loser team at my gym.  I’m having a blast, and I know my team is learning so much.)  I sat my trophies right beside me and gave a little "Pep talk."  My team heard all about my own struggles with food and exercise.  Here’s a little of what I said:

"You can’t tell me I don’t understand your excuses.  I’ve been there.  I love to eat!  I don’t always like to exercise.  But I made a decision over a year ago that I would change my mindset and transform my body, and there’s no turning back.  I want my story to inspire you and challenge you.  Are you willing to make that same commitment?  Will this be the beginning of your story?"

Dreams do come true!!!  MAKE IT COUNT!!!

I receive dozens of emails every week from people, asking me questions about my fitness journey.  So many people want to know how I’ve been able to reach my goals and maintain them.  Specifically, I am asked most often, “How do you stay motivated?  How do you remain consistent with your diet and exercise plan?  And how long should I expect to wait before I see results?”

That last question gets asked a lot.  We are a society of quick fixes, aren’t we?  We want a transformed body now, not tomorrow or next week or next month or next year.  Wouldn’t it be convenient if there was a Body Transformation Drive-Thru?  You pull up to the window, and place your order:

"Yes, I’d like 1 six-pack of abs, 2 tight inner thighs, 2 non-jiggly arms, and 1 round rear-end please."

"Ok.  Will that be all?"

"Oh, yes.  And 1 Diet Coke."

"Sounds good.  That will be $1.65 for the Diet Coke and 3 months to 1 year on the rest of your order."

You drive away, frustrated and determined to find faster service.  But is there such a place?  Sure there is.  Well, kinda.  You could go to the Quick Fix places that promise a dramatic weight loss while you sleep; or you could go the starvation route and finally reach that number on the scale that you’ve been struggling to hit.  But then what happens?  You reach the number but your body hasn’t transformed itself.  And your mind hasn’t been renewed either.  You still feel the same way about food and exercise as you did before!  Consequently, you have spent time and money reaching your “goal weight,”  when in reality, all you did was lower your metabolism and distort your thinking.

For the last 6 weeks, I’ve been training for my first figure competition.  And with 6 weeks left before the show, I’ve faced all kinds of inner demons:  mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual demons.  Major doubts have entered my mind; at times all I can see is the overweight woman I used to be.   I hear things like, “What do you think you are doing?  You can’t compete against them!  You don’t belong up there!  They are just going to laugh at you.  Just give up now and go back to your nice, comfortable life.”  Then I realize, my life wasn’t nice and comfortable.  No doubt my life was easier before I started eating clean and training smart.  I could eat anywhere and anything, and exercise was just a passing thought, never a plan of attack.  Now that I have learned how to feed and train my body, I never want to return to my former way of life.  NEVER!  So, I have to ask myself:  “How bad do you want it?”

You may be thinking that I don’t understand your situation.  Standing up on a stage in 4-inch heels and a teeny-tiny bikini is not on your agenda.  But you know what?  IT DOESN’T MATTER!!  Your goals may be different from mine, but the issues we have to face are very much the same. We both have to face those moments of frustration when our bodies are not responding to the work we are putting in.  We both have to change our habits and change our way of thinking. We both have to be PATIENT!!!

 “Be patient.” Not something you or I want to hear, but it’s the truth.  Webster’s Online Dictionary defines Patience as  “the capacity of enduring hardship or inconvenience without complaint.”  Oooohhhh….that’s good!!   And it brings me back to my question:  “How bad do you want it?”  Are we willing to endure hardships and inconveniences to finally reach our goals?  Do we really want to be healthy and strong?  Do we want to live longer and set an example for our children and grandchildren?  

And are we willing to do all that….without complaining?  OH, MAN!!  I don’t know about you, but I just had an “AHA Moment!”  When I start saying phrases like, “This scale won’t move,” or “I screwed up again at dinner,” or “I’ll never look like her,” my body hears it.  My mind isn’t the only one that hears the negativity, but my body hears it, too.  And it digests it and sends it straight to my fat stores.  You think I’m exaggerating, but it’s true.  Research proves that when we speak positive words to a plant, the plant thrives.  Do you think your body is any different? 

I know I’ve been chasing a wild tangent here, so let me sum up:  How bad do you want it?  Bad enough that you are willing to try something new?  Bad enough that you are willing to clean up your diet and make your workouts more intense?  Bad enough that you are willing to change your habits at home, at work, and at play?  Bad enough that you are willing to change your attitude about what it means to be healthy and fit?   What if it takes 3 months to transform your body?  What if it takes 3 years to transform your body?  Is that OK with you? 

Change will not happen overnite because your mindset does not change overnite.  But the good news is…..IT CAN HAPPEN!! 

Be patient.  Be consistent.  Be positive.  

For the last few months, I’ve pondered how my life has changed; not just the changes in my body, but changes in the way I eat, the way I train, the way I view myself, and the way I think. EVERYTHING has changed. Here’s just a few major issues that are no longer issues for me. Maybe you will see something in this list that hits home for you.

1. The scale. That crazy thing that sits on our bathroom floor has the amazing ability to change moods. Have you noticed? I used to weigh in once a week at Weight Watchers, and if the number on the scale was down, I left that meeting and ate everything in sight. You are probably not like that at all; but that is how I used to do things. I figured I had one more week to weigh in, so why not binge a little now! On the other hand, if the number on the scale was up, I felt like crap. Nothing went right the rest of the day; I was a fat girl with nothing to offer anybody but a pretty smile and a shoulder to cry on. All because of a stupid machine.

No more, people!! And it’s not just because I have reached my goal. Yeah, I knew you were thinking that ("look at her…she’s at goal and she’s telling us not to look at the scale. Really, who is this chick anyways?!") . I’m telling you this because I’m sick and tired of being controlled by a number that means very little. Of course, our weight is important and I try to weigh myself once every few weeks just to keep myself in check. But the most important things to me are my fat to muscle ratio, my waist to hip ratio, my overall inch loss, my new found energy, and my new found strength. Aren’t those really what we are after?

The first thing my new client told me was he wanted to lose about 15 lbs. No problem. But I surprised him when I came back with this question: "What if you actually gained 5 pounds, but lost 3 inches in your waist? Which is more important to you?" Hummm….I think you know his answer. He probably has a pair of jeans he’d love to put on; and that’s his motivation.

I weigh myself only to get a number I can work with. If the number has gone up, I look at my inch loss or bodyfat % and realize I have probably gained some muscle. If my weight is up as well as my inches, then I need to reevaluate my diet and training program. New way of thinking #1.

2. Spot-reducing. Typical senario: Lady walks into a gym. She has no plan, no log with a training program on it for her to follow, no real thoughts on what she wants to do. All she knows is she wants a flatter stomach, a smaller waist, arms that don’t wave back at her, and thighs that don’t jiggle.

She gets on the treadmill and walks, at a leisurely pace, hands firmly grasping the handles. 30 minutes go by and she’s barely breaking a sweat, but she’s accomplished something. Now, it’s time for the "toning." She doesn’t want to be a bodybuilder; she just wants to look "firm." Sure, Ok. The first thing: her abs. She does 25 crunches. Next issue she wants to take care of is her waist. One time she saw someone doing side-bends; that seems right to her, so she grabs 2 dumbbells and bends side-to-side, about 20 times. Arms: she doesn’t care about her biceps (what woman wants big biceps?, she says to herself.) She grabs a dumbbell and pumps out a few tricep extensions above her head. Not doing enough to really feel the burn, but it’s something. Finally, her thighs. Inner thighs are her real issue, so she jumps on the Abductor/Adductor machines and slams out bunches of reps. The more the better, right? She ends with a few reps on the leg extension and leg curl machines, and she’s outta there.

Sound familiar? Most people have no clue what to do when they walk into a gym! After spending a year training my whole body, I have learned that my body doesn’t transform itself piece-by-piece, bodypart by bodypart. Spot-reducing is IMPOSSIBLE!! It’s all or nothing. I’ve learned how very, very smart my body is. It will burn fat if I work the ENTIRE BODY! Big muscles burn the most fat, so I make sure I really work the big guys: chest, back, shoulders, quads, hamstrings, and glutes. I still include triceps and biceps, but those are little guys, and I only work them cause it’s fun and makes for a more complete training session. And Cardio? Well, it’s short and sweet for me. I have a new love affair with High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT). So cool how something so quick and intense can produce such amazing results!! I call it my "20-minute miracle." New way of thinking #2.

3. Diet. I won’t bore you anymore with how my view on food has changed. You can read my page and past blogs for that info. I’ll just emphasize how much my body loves good, clean food!! It responds well to eating 40% carbs, 30% protein, and 30% fat. Give or take. My abs look great when I eat well; my energy is high and the bloat in my stomach is almost non-existent. Who could ask for more? Food is more than pleasurable; food serves a purpose. It makes me lean, strong, fit, energetic, and happy! New way of thinking #3.

Gosh…I can’t believe all the stuff we can learn, through trial and error. We try one thing and that doesn’t work, so we switch our mindset and say, "Hey! Let’s try something new! Something I’ve never thought of!"

So free your mind this week and try something new.

Before I go into the "How To’s" of getting a hangover (without the use of alcohol), I should explain how I got myself into this situation in the first place.

In my previous blogs, I explained in great detail how I will be competing in my first ever figure competition. If you are not familiar with figure competitions, let me sum up the judging criteria: the tightest body, wearing the tightest bikini wins. Ok…there’s a lot more to winning than that (there’s the walk and the pose and the smile and many other factors involved). But basically, you’ve got to have a hard body. And to get that hard body, one must have a diet that is pretty near perfect.

Last week, my trainers outlined my competition diet for me. Many of you know how fanatical I am about my diet. Nutrition is very important to me. I’ve spent the last 6+ months perfecting my 6 small meals a day menu, planning it out every nite, getting a protein and a carb at every meal. By building up a great deal of lean body mass, I am able to eat around 1800 calories per day and maintain my weight and body fat %. Not bad!!

Imagine my shock when my trainers handed me a diet with 5 meals that equal around 1250 calories. What??????

Stay with me here. 1200 calories is the minimum number of calories a woman should eat just to breathe. Throw in weight training and cardio activity and you are looking at 1500 calories minimum needed. So, why would they do this? The purpose is to burn as much fat as possible while maintaining all my hard earned muscle.

In order to keep my sanity, they have allowed me one cheat day a week. Let me explain my "cheat day" as it was explained to me. If it isn’t nailed down, you can eat it. Indulge all day , if I must. "Really?" I asked them. "Yep. You’ve got to! You will go mad if you had to eat so little and workout so hard and not give your body a jump start once a week to indulge."

So, if you average out my weekly calories, including my cheat day, I am easily getting the same number of calories I normally eat. Ok…enough of the explaining. Here’s how I got my "hangover."

Sundays have been declared as "Kim’s Cheat Day." And I was so excited about yesterday! I’m visiting my MIL’s for Easter/Spring Break, and she is quite a cook. I wanted to enjoy it all!! I went to bed on Saturday nite, dreaming of Sunday morning. Beside my bed, I placed a peanut butter chocolate Easter Egg. My first splurge of the day. Why get out of bed to eat?, I said to myself. As soon as I wake up in the morning, I’ll start my cheat day.

I woke up at 4:30 in the flippin’ a.m.!!! And I couldn’t go back to sleep. I grabbed that egg and in 5 seconds, the foil was off and the egg was on my tongue. HALLEUJAH!! JOY!! RAPTURE!! ABSOLUTE PLEASURE!!

Breakfast came soon after: 2 slices of toast, 2 HEAPING tablespoons of peanut butter (not my healthy power PB, folks…the bad PB! ), and a sliced banana. My lovely PB/Banana sandwich. And my coffee? Oh, man. I CAN HAVE CREAMER!!!! I swear, half my coffee mug was creamer and half was coffee.

And so the feast began. I was out of control! The kids’ Easter baskets, so sweetly decorated and filled with peanut M&M’s….sorry, Kids. M&M’s are Mommy’s fav! Down they go. I can’t tell you how many of those crazy things I ate yesterday. And I just kept going:

Pork Rinds, crackers, chips, ham, deviled eggs, pizza, bacon (lots of bacon!), 4% milk, cookies, pies, cakes, some little cinnamon twisty things that were the bomb!, etc…..

At 1:30 p.m., I had to stop. My stomach was beyond sick. I laid down and took a quick nap. But not too long! It was still my cheat day, afterall.

The above list of forbidden foods got eaten again…and again.

At 9:00 p.m., I said "Enough."

And then, the pains began. You could not pay me a million bucks to look at my gastrointestinal system. I have never felt that kind of pain in my stomach…EVER! The nausea, the heartburn, the body aches, the headache. Ugh…

I woke up at 7:00 a.m. this morning with a headache that can not be explained. The body aches, the dizziness, the inability to make a fist…oh my.! This sugar/carb/fat-induced hangover surpasses anything that alcohol can produce. And believe me: I’ve had my share of alcohol hangovers. Those pale in comparison.

As I sat down to my tiny bowl of oatmeal, 1 scoop of protein powder, 1/2 banana, and black coffee, I was elated. Sick and sore, but elated. The simplicity of my 1250 calorie days was like an answer to prayer. I now understand why my trainers encouraged me to indulge. It proves a very strong point: you will want to stick to this diet 6 days a week. And you won’t cry about it anymore.

So, when Sunday rolls around again, no more binges. No more insane hunting for the closest junk food. I’ll be smart and enjoy my small, carefully portioned out cheat foods.

But I’ll keep my Zantac close at hand…just in case.

One year ago today, I made the decision to transform my body and my life! And, just between you and me…My goal has been met!

 As I look back over the past year, I am amazed, humbled, overwhelmed, and shocked! Yes…SHOCKED!! Do you know how long I’ve waited for this? Of course you know, because you’ve been there too! More than once over the last year, I felt the urge to throw in the towel. Motivation comes and goes…I’ve had good days and I’ve had bad days…some REALLY bad days. Some days I didn’t want to get up and eat something clean and go to the gym. But here’s the kicker: it was working through those bad days that made all the difference for me.

 You see, it’s easy for me to workout and eat right when I’m feeling motivated! Don’t you feel that way? I wake up, look at myself in the mirror, step on the scale (grrrr…), and like what was happening. Those days, it’s easy to stick with a plan. But, Lord help me on my bad days. GOODNESS GRACIOUS! When I was feeling low because the scale wasn’t moving (grrrr…) or my clothes weren’t getting loose fast enough or I ate like crap the day before…yeah, those were bad days. And those are the days when it is even more important for me to make it happen! If I can work through those tough days, I know I can succeed at ANYTHING!!

God has brought me to a remarkable place. He has allowed me to transform my body and my mind. He has brought into my life hundreds of amazing friends (that’s you!) who encourage me and motivate me! He has shown His power to me over and over and over again. I can not help but thank Him and give Him all the praise!

I cried a bucket of tears last night. They were tears of humility and tears of joy. My truest desire is that I can, in some small way, encourage you to let go of all that is hindering you and press on! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: MAKE EVERY MOMENT COUNT!!

Go stand in front of the mirror. Look at yourself and say this: "I am a beautiful creation. My body is a temple and it deserves nothing but the best. Today will be full of challenges and I am ready for them. If I mess up, I will deal with it and I will move on. Because God is in control and He has my life in His hands."

Your body is a temple. Train accordingly. (taken from a Life Fitness ad.)

Just got back from the gym…had a rockin’ Back/Biceps/Abs workout. Yeah…I’m burnin’…

While I’m cooling down on the treadmill, I noticed 2 young ladies walk into the gym. They are laughing their cute little laughs, lookin’ all "Fly" in their workout gear. You know the types. They pick out their magazines to read and casually step up on the treadmills beside me.

Unbeknownst to them, I’m watching. No sweat. No breathing in and out from the mouth (which means their heartrates are not up there). No incline. Just gossip time. For about 20 minutes.

Now, I shouldn’t be so critical. Because that was me most of my workout life. I never pushed myself. Never thought it mattered. "I’ve got this gym membership and I’m doing my little routine. That should give me results." WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!

DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME!! Why do that to yourself?? Do you want to change your body? Do you want to get more energy and give your heart a challenge? Or are you going to continue down the same path…

Please, my friends…I BEG you! MAKE EVERY MOMENT COUNT! If you’ve got 1 hour, 3-4 times a week, then make that hour the absolute best workout of your life!! Go into that workout with a plan in mind…know exactly what you want to accomplish. Lift a little heavier today? Run instead of walk? Up the intensity a fraction? YES!!

Disclaimer: I should remind you that if you have not been on a regular exercise program before, please talk to your doctor. You don’t want to go full force into something only to mess up your body. Invest in a trainer for a few sessions to get your baseline figures (find out where your target heartrate should be; learn how to use dumbbells or machines, etc.).

Do I sound mad?! Well, in a way, I am. I’m mad because I didn’t start this type of exercise sooner. I’m mad at myself for not figuring this out years ago. And I don’t want my friends to lose any time, when your transformation is waiting for you…right around the corner.

Make it count!!!

Does the term "bonking" apply to bodybuilders or just to endurance athletes?  Not sure…since I’m kinda new to all this.  Either way, I almost "bonked" last week.  My body has made little progress since December:  bodyfat same; weight same; no change in inch loss.  I had no desire to hit the gym and workout.  NONE!  Doubtful that it was caused by overtraining.  I’m pretty darn sure it’s my lack of quality sleep.

Amazingly enough, I got 8 1/2 hours of sleep last night, and I only woke up 3 times.  Usually, I wake every hour and can’t get back to sleep for 30 minutes.  This time, I forced myself to get back to sleep, and it worked.  I feel AMAZING today!!  And I aced my workout!

So here’s my plan of attack to avoid bonking in the future:

1.  Try for AT LEAST 8 hours of sleep every night.
2.  Add Fish oil to my supplement regime.
3. Never EVER forget to eat high-glycemic carbs after my workout.  Muscles need recovery insulin, right?
4.  Make sure I’m resting at least 30-45 seconds between sets.  (I tend to rush through to keep the heartrate going, but I think my muscles are not recovering as a result.)
5.  Add 1 yoga workout every week.  I need the flexibility training and the relaxation.
6.  Go for a massage twice a month.

Let’s see how it goes. 

I’ve had so many people ask me questions about my progress.  I’m very flattered and honored to receive so many comments!  You guys motivate me beyond belief! 

Many of you, especially Moms, have asked for suggestions.  Well, here’s a few tips that have produced amazing results for me:

1.  Choose a specific date on your calendar to meet a goal.  I needed a short-term goal first, so I picked a concert that was 6 months away.  Having a specific date circled on your calendar will inspire you and motivate you to press forward. 

2.  Strength train each body part at least once a week.  One day, work your biceps, triceps, and chest. Another day, work legs and abs.  Another day, work back and shoulders.  You get the picture.   And don’t be afraid to use a heavier weight than you are accustomed to.  I use heavier weight, and I’m not bulking up!  I’m increasing my muscle to burn fat.  And the results are amazing!  Fit and tone and strong looking!  That’s what I want.

3.  Cardio can effectively burn fat in less time than you think.  Try  interval training on your next session.  Sometimes, I can only get in 20-30 minutes of cardio.  So, I make it count!  I will jog on treadmill at 6.0 mph for 2 minutes; then sprint at 8.2 for 1 minute; back and forth for 20-30 minutes.  Very effective!

4.  Change up your weight training program every 4 weeks.  You don’t want your body to adjust.  You always want to "psych it out," introducing new exercises so it is always changing. 

5. Plan out your meals EVERY DAY!!  Eat 6 small meals a day, a meal every 2-3 hours. Add protein to every meal, in small amounts.  A small chicken breast; 1/2 c. cottage cheese; a protein shake; etc.  Having your meals pre-planned will keep you in control and less tempted by the ole, "Gee, what am I gonna have for dinner?" scam.   A good book to grab is "The Eat Clean Diet," by Tosca Reno.  Great recipes and excellent tips.  I also give myself one cheat meal a week.  I don’t go overboard…I just enjoy a food that I normally wouldn’t eat. 

6.  Bodybuilding.com has great demos on weight training exercises.  Check them out if you are confused about them.

7.  I did NOT use any fat-burners!  People may think to lose a pound a week and get tone that I must have used something.  Nope.  I don’t like the feeling that fat-burners give me.  I do use a good multi-vitamin and essential fatty acids.  Just clean eating and smart training did the trick.

8.  Finally, go buy Keith Urban’s CD "Be Here." Then, listen to his song "Days Go By" over and over and over again.  Let the words sink in and really hear them.  You’ll never let one day go by again!

I’VE GOT IT!!!!  It all makes sense now!!

Do you recall that quote, "Don’t live to eat; eat to live."?  Well, finally, it sunk in to the deepest part of my brain and makes total sense!!  And I simply have to share it with you.  Because this could be a life changing moment for you, too!  I’m serious here…I’m not being dramatic or wacko…this new concept has changed EVERYTHING for me!

I should start by saying this:  this new concept is probably not new to most of you.  I’m just now getting it, so…just go with it, will ya? 

I started reading the book "The Eat Clean Diet" by Tosca Reno.  First, let me say this blog is NOT a promotion of her book, nor is this new and improved view on food discussed within its pages.  It was simply the spark that got me going in the right direction.  Ok, now here’s what happened.  I started following the plan:  6 small meals a day, protein at each meal, water at each meal, etc.  Simple, straight forward stuff, right?

Now, here’s where it gets GOOD!!  I’ve been eating this way for about 2 months.  Last night, I was preparing my final meal/snack of cottage cheese, chopped apple, cinnamon, and splenda (really good!  Try it!).  And I thought to myself, "Great.  This is just what my body needs to build that muscle to burn that fat."

TA DA!!  There it is!! Did you get it?

Food is no longer a pleasure cruise for me.  I’m now thinking about what each bite of food will do inside of me.  I ask myself the question:  "When this food enters my body, will it make me lean?  Will it build my muscles?  Or will it just sit there and rot and steer me as far away from my goals as possible?"

Now, that doesn’t mean I’m not tempted by delicious smells and scrumptious textures.  Sometimes, it’s so tempting I have to walk away.  But now, as I’m planning out my weekly meals, I write down the foods that will benefit me the most.  Of course, I want them to taste good…duh!  But that really isn’t my perspective anymore.  And that isn’t my view on food anymore.

Eating for pleasure?  Not anymore.  I’m eating with a purpose.

Ok, so this weekend wasn’t the best.  But it wasn’t the worst either.  MIL was in town, and I really love it when she’s here.  She helps with the kids; she’s fun to be around; we talk about my husband and laugh ; stuff like that.

But every time I have visitors in my home, I have a difficult time not being completely clean on my eating.  Had 2 beers this weekend, which I must say, were very good.  But now, I"m paying the price.  Maybe,  like Tosca Reno says, I’ll use these cheating moments as motivation to stay clean.

I think my bloating stomach is enough motivation, don’t ya think?!  Geez Louise!