Support…Why is that the hardest thing to do?
Support.
Why is support one of the hardest things for your loved ones to do? I am sure that I am not alone in this, either as I have read countless blogs, emails and forum posts regarding this subject. It’s weird that here on this site I receive more support than I do with people that see me everyday and say they care about me. I get asked on a daily basis, why are you doing that, what are you getting out of it, are you sure this is what you want, and so many more questions. Do I really need a reason for wanting to look and feel better. I have been told I have "changed" b/c my attitude is different. Why do people like you so much more when you are unhappy or not doing something for yourself to change your life? I never would have thought someone would say I have a bad attitude b/c I worry about what I am eating and I am anxious to get to the gym. I actually had someone tell me that it makes me too absorbed in myself. What the hell? Why? What is it better for me to be fat and unhappy? Why does worrying about myself make me selfabsorbed. That just doesn’t make sense to me. I have a friend that started my diet with me but has dropped out b/c she is stressed or always tempted or whatever but is now pissy with me all the time especially when someone asks me how much weight I lost b/c I look good now. I can’t help but think she is pissed she failed and I didn’t. Why do I have to be penalized for that? You know, its not just in fitness where I get the negativity, its in the relationship choices or my career too. I dont get it. I know I am not the only one and believe me when I say there is not enough negativity in the world right now that is going to stop me. But I can’t help but think about support systems lately. Why is it so hard to be happy for someone else and truly be happy? When has it become ok to be unhappy versus happy? Why is complaining far better than not? I just do not get that. I have said it many times that no one ever understands it unless they are living it. You do not know how it feels to be the fat person unless you are. You do not know how it feels tobe the super skinny person that people make fun of unless its you. You do not know how to deal with the lost of a lover, friend, mother, child, etc. unless you lose that person too. You do not know what to do or say for your friends who are divorcing or being cheated on unless you are going through it. You do not know what its like to struggle unless you are the one struggling. You do not understand your body, fitness and self esteem unless you are into it. Nothing becomes apart of you until you decide to make it apart of your life or apart of you. You do not know what its like to fail unless you fail. You do not know what it’s like to achieve something unless you achieve it. With that being said I can understand why it’s hard to see myside of it to some people, but if they truly care they should be on my side ready to take on anything with me. You know. I am not just talking about a lover, but friends, family, etc. If they cant just be happy for me or truely supportive I need to second guess why they are around. Life is too freaking short to be negative.
Well I will go.. I just had to talk about this stuff a little bit. I know its a different post than what I would usually write but heyit happens..LOL!
Take care.
July 10, 2007 at 9:35 am
It’s the old saying, "misery loves company". Also, part of that may stem from guilt on their part, because you may have inadvertantly made them take a look at themselves, and they didn’t like what they saw. So, to justify their "woe is me" attitude, they attack others to make themselves feel better. At least that’s what I’ve noticed on my end of things. You’re doing great, and that’s all that matters!
July 10, 2007 at 9:44 am
You are probably learning to love yourself during your progress more than you realized you could. I’m sure its jealousy, anger at themselves for failing. What is wrong with being self absorbed when it comes to your health. Last time I checked everyone wanted to live a happy long life. You just choose to make that possible.
July 10, 2007 at 11:25 am
Wow! no shyt! people that supposedly love you never really give you support… an it sucks…! i totally understand you! i go through it as well here! thank god i have people here to tell me that i am looking better or working out hard… although here, people dont know the real me.. but hey, i will take what i can get… you look great! dont quit or give up…! you have us!!
July 10, 2007 at 12:29 pm
If they love you they will come around when they realize that you are healthy and happy. Everyone else: F-um!
July 11, 2007 at 10:34 am
DONT LET THEM GET YOU DOWN….YOU ARE STRONG AND YOU DONT NEED THEM YOU HAVE ALL OF US WE WILL ALWAYS BE HERE .WE CARE ABOUT YOU AND WE NEED YOU TO HELP US WHEN WE ARE DOWN
July 14, 2007 at 5:45 pm
Well said Alicia! It has a lot to do with the fact that others feel bad because they do not have the discipline to make a positive change in their life. Yes, they probably hold some subconcious resentment that you have been able to stick to it while they look for a miracle pill or six pack abs in only 5 mins. a day! It’s hard to understand, but these people choose to be unhappy. They think suffering is the norm, not happiness. They are ruled by their internal judge and victim, not by themselves. Don’t let the naysayers get you down. They just don’t get it. You do. That’s all that matters. People hate successful people. Envy and resentment build up because they won’t lift a finger to help themselves. Keep positive, stay strong, and God Bless. You amaze me with your dedication and discipline. You are a superhero!
July 15, 2007 at 6:12 pm
I have expierenced the same thing!! And It upset me as well….I just didn’t understand why ANYONE would not want me to do someting for myself…how could people be so negative about something so positive….and for Once I take the light I shine on others and put it on myself to become a healthier and happier person for myself and in that become a better person for people in my life…Then I sat back…crossed my arms and really evaluated those people….They may be skinny, fat, healthy, not…..but all of them have SOME aspect in their life that they’re not happy with! so….like Mr. Dead said "Misery love company" People are tryin to make our journey harder than it already is….in part because it makes that feel better to know that someone else is struggling harder than them…..It sucks! but it’s okay…because you’re so awesome!! You’re a strong woman and like you said nothing is going to stop you from doing what is best for YOU! I have found that when we make changes in our life like you and I are doing….you shed your skin from your past…literally and sometimes with that you have to shed the people as well…..when you try to become something bigger and better than you were before you have to leave those people behind who have become comfortable where there are at…I’m proud of yoU! and I love reading your blogs…They keep me motivated and well I’ll stop rambling…but I must say…Thanks.
July 19, 2007 at 10:03 pm
you just summed up my last 5 months!