txfire76’s BodyBlog

Apparently last night when we went out to eat the chicken I had gave me food poisoning! I know because it’s happend before and I went to the dr. Anyway, does anyone know what I can do to make myself feel better??? I’m weak and shaking and can’t function very well today! HELP!!!

Man!! Have I let myself go BIG TIME!!!! I knew I had put on weight since my new job started in March of ‘08 but I did not realize HOW much weight until I posted these new pics! I am so disappointed in myself. In Jan 2008 I was starting to get a nice stomach, now there are just fat rolls everywhere….so gross! Crazy how much I have changed in a year! Posting these pics are humiliating! Maybe this is what I need though, to stop hiding the real me and face it, deal with it, accept it enough to change it. I don’t want to look like this anymore, I want better for myself, my family deserves better, my health means more. Time to change, not subtle but drastically. No more excuses, no more laziness, enough is enough. I am not accepting this of myself anymore!!

Why is it that the people we need and want support from the most don’t seem to help but are quick to criticize? I hope no one else has to go through that because it really sucks! You would think that someone you are married to who likes to workout hisself would be on board with you doing it right? Not my case, not my husband, he criticizes me, tells me I’m lazy, tells me I’m not trying hard enough, makes fun of the videos of P90X and Tony Horton while I’m in there doing my best to do them while he sits on the couch and laughs and pokes fun at everyone on it. It’s so frustrating!!! Does he really think this is motivation or does he care, is he just being a jerk? I have got to where I don’t even want to go to the gym at the same time he’s there and I definitely don’t want to workout at home if he’s there. If I am at the gym and he shows up I quit working out. I just can’t stay motivated to be there. He gets to go to the gym everyday, it frustrates me because we have four kids at home and most my time is focused on cleaning, cooking, and doing stuff for them when I am not at my full time job so when I do get to workout I dang sure don’t want someone being so negative about it. Then he goes and buys shakes at the gym, orders supplements and things but when I go and buy me some protein powder and some Hydroxycut Max he wants to jump all over me about how much money I’m spending on something that’s not even going to benefit me because I don’t try to lose weight. I go to the gym when I can and do the P90x at home, I’ve changed my eating habits, I have lost weight and inches within the last month but does he notice that? He doesn’t even know what I’ve been doing because I try to do what I can when he’s not around, he doesn’t believe that he says "oh whatever, you don’t do crap!" Seriously, why is he being like this? Where’s the support and motivation? He knows I entered the Hydroxycut contest and he just says "I don’t know why you are just wasting time and money you aren’t gonna win" That’s fine I probably won’t win but at least I’m trying. Why would someone be like that to their wife? Am I the only person dealing with this crap? I really hope so because I hate to think someone else has to put up with someone like this everyday it sucks!!!!!!!!!

Sorry for the dirty laundry, I just had to vent I’m so frustrated!!! I want encouragement not discouragement!!