ttsells’s BodyBlog

Today was cardio. I went for a 45 minute walk, kind of painful since I really hit the calf press yesterday.  That’s okay, though.  It went well.  Diet isn’t great, on track but not awful today

I’ve been struggling with eating right and not working out since Friday of last week.  I told myself I just have to get my body into the gym and I’d feel like doing it again.  So today after work I went to the gym.  I had no desire to work out and spent forever in the locker room (it felt like) trying to decide what to do since I wasn’t feeling it.  So I got on the treadmill for 10 minutes to warm up, did my entire leg routine, and then 10 more minutes on the treadmill.  I feel much better about myself now.

I’m eating cookies, sneaking cookies when my husband’s not around.  I can’t go to the gym.  I haven’t worked out or eaten right since Friday.  Today is Tuesday.

Okay.  I’ve written about being out of town and my struggle to stay on track.  I did as best as I could with all of my time being on the road.  I was so anxious to be back home on Saturday, last convention day.  I ended up driving through the night immediately after my seminar was over to get home.  Therefore, another day of no gym.  Surprise, surprise.  Since I knew this to be the case, I decided Saturday, drive day, would be my cheat day instead of Sunday.  That was okay but I didn’t start over being good, eating authorized foods Sunday - or Monday!!!  I haven’t worked out since Friday’s cardio.  This is exactly why I didn’t want to go away.  I had finally found my groove and was staying on track for about a month and I know what I do when I’m stressed.  I freak and eat. I’m a pig without willpower.

People will tell me to just get on track tomorrow, which is true, I should.  I got a phone call from my gym today.  They are offering me one free personal training session.  I swear they call me whenever I don’t show up at the gym.  I don’t know if it’s just chance or what is going on.  I’m not complaining because this is good.  It’s like they are my conscience and I’m guility.  The crazy thing is that I get scared to answer the phone when they call so I let the machine get it.  I expect them to say where have you been?  I think it’s because when I’m being "good," I go five or six times a week.  Maybe the key fob they give you tracks when you’ve been away and that’s why they call to start offering you stuff.  OR maybe they just are trying to get me to sign up for stuff and get my $$.  It’s probably the latter.

Anyhow, they are offering me "one free training session, which they promise to be fun."  Funny.  When I first signed up they offered me a free session, which I took.  The PT took me to a few machines, told me to do one rep on each, rated my weight, flexibility and told me the prices of working with her.  It was about $65 a session.  I would absolutely love to do it but my job situation is the worst it’s been in years.  I’m part-time now, not full-time, so I can’t justify this to myself.  I told her I’d try working out on my own and see what I can do and if it’s not working I’d think about signing up.

Two months or so have gone by.  I haven’t lost any pounds.  I have gained muscle in my arms.  I had lost all of my biceps when I was running.  You could actually feel my bone when you grabbed my upper arm.  Then I quit running, got fat, and have bigger arms but still no muscle.  So now I know my working out has helped with my muscle tone, but I’m struggling with weight loss.  I can’t control my mouth.  I have been eating six small meals a day according to the B4L plan but I’m not dropping fat.  I think I eat too much at these meals.  They are always small on carbs, have a portion of protein and when I’m hungy some green veggies.  When I’m hungry I add more protein, not carbs or fat.  Obviously I’m doing something wrong since my cute clothes still don’t fit.  I have way too much body fat and the scale is not going down.

Do I part with my $$ to get the trainer and drop the weight or do I go at it alone?  I’m thinking about this all afternoon now while I work.  Maybe I should just give in and do it so I can finally feel better about myself.  I don’t know what to do.  I parted with a few hundred to join the gym for two years and I struggled with this decision and now think it was a good one.  I parted with a few hundred before that for Nutrisystem and hate that I did that.  It worked and I dropped pounds after a month but plateaued terribly.  After I went back to normal food the weight came right back.  Regular food isn’t so high protein and high fiber like that stuff is.  I felt like I was dying on Nutrisystem.  I had no energy at all.  Working out was so hard to do on it for me.  When I’m low carb I feel like I can’t function.  I think I have blood sugar problems.  I’ve been thought to be diabetic three times by doctors because I’m so thirsty all of the time; but every time I get tested I’m not.  I feel "low" often energy-wise and diet is an issue for me, which is why I’m 5′1 and 126.  I’m so sick of being in the 120s.

Maybe a trainer can help me drop the pounds. I really just wanted to start in January with dieting and exercising and fit into my old clothes by summer.  Now June is almost here and I’m no better off now than I was in January.  I’ve been doing good with workouts for the last couple of months and eating the Body for Life way for the last month and a half and I’m still seeing much if any results.  I couldn’t be more confused and discouraged.  I also don’t know if a trainer is just a waste of money.  If they could help after one or two months, it would be totally worth it; but right now I’m pretty discouraged and not excited about spending more on weight loss efforts. 

Today I did cardio.  I’m out of town and making due with what I have.  I ran outside of a nearby mall in the parking lot for my cardio.  I wanted to be somewhere where I felt safe since I’m out of town and a girl always feels good at the mall!!  I’m glad that even though I’m away I can do something good for my body.  I also brought all of my authorized foods so I’m still eating six meals a day, all healthy.  Hooray for me.  I know it’s dorky but I’m proud of myself. 

When things aren’t going well I’m always tempted to eat treats, especially chocolate, to make myself feel better.  Greasy food is fun too.  This isn’t good when trying to make a lifestyle change and yesterday’s trip was awful.  (See yesterday’s post.)  I did okay with the diet.  I ended up eating three extra apples and an extra protein shake because I wanted food at night to console myself after a long, bad drive and waiting too long to eat.  I ended up skipping my workout too because of being on the road too long.  BAD DAY. 

Today is going better, though.  Tomorrow should be a leg/weight day and I don’t have a gym so unless I try to get into a local gym here by paying or think of some idea, I’m going to have to do just cardio by running around the mall again.  I’d rather do weights like I should but doing cardio is better than skipping another workout.  Maybe I’ll throw in some squats in my hotel room. 

I’m really disappointed with myself today.  I knew this week would be hard for me but I hoped to rearrange my workouts and not skip them.  I need to do three weight workouts - 2 lowers and 1 upper - and three cardios.  Monday was legs, Tuesday was arms and today was supposed to be cardio.  I am traveling for work this week and my travel will be Wednesday and Sunday.  Sunday is always a rest day.  Today I was on the road muuuccccchhhhh longer than expected.  My hotel has no gym so I decided I’d do cardio outside jogging while on my trip.  Instead I skipped today’s workout as I got to my hotel and it was already dark. 

Now I’m bummed and hungry.  I took a sleeping pill and hope it kicks in quick so that I can go to sleep and feel better about tomorrow.  Hopefully I’ll do a really good cardio day tomorrow and will feel better.  If nothing else I’ll be proud if I get any workouts in on this trip.  So far my business trip is going worse than ever expected.  I brought tons of healthy food to stay on track and I’m so upset now that I feel like just running to the vending machine down the hall and consoling myself with a yummy treat.  I hope I fall asleep quick.

Yesterday was a naughty, naughty cheat day.  I did no workout because it’s a rest day on Sunday and I ate whatever I wanted.  I wanted to avoid that as that was my goal for Sundays, but it’s been a few weeks of being incredibly good foodwise and having my cheats be super small - almost not even cheating (for these last 3 weeks).  So I didn’t want to have a cheat day on Sunday but gave in.  I did do two days of my 3-day Oxygen diet but last night meal six became tons of pistachios, warmed peanut butter with cocoa powder and powdered sugar and soymilk (my version of chocolate since I’m lactose intolerant and can’t have the real thing) and oatmeal with tons of raisins and maple syrup and a half of a banana and extra sugar after that.  It was so yummy and I think I’m craving fat!!!  Like that’s a new thing! - Hah!  My body loves fat unfortunately.  I topped off the evening with a mixed drink.  I haven’t drank alcohol in a few months and halfway through I could feel it.  I’m such a lightweight.

On to today.  My goal no matter what is that when you fall off the horse, which I always do, get back on again.  So even when I cheat bad on Sunday I must return to normal on Monday.  Sometimes I’m tempted to skip meals on Monday morning to make up for last night but I’m not.  I’ve already had a protein shake for #1, protein oatmeal for #2 and will stay back on track today.  I want to make this work.  Last night my husband said my face looked smaller.  That’s good if it’s true.  He knew I was upset because I tried on a pair of pants and they still don’t fit.  I’m going to go crazy if I don’t start losing some fat soon.  When will it ever happen???????

Today is leg day.  I want to squat 5 or 6 gym lengths at the gym, do leg raises, and all of the other machines.  I’m too lazy right now to list them but it’s all of Golds’ leg machines plus squats.  I feel like the squats are doing the most good out of all of my exercises.  I’m hoping those big leg muscles targeted will start to burn some lower-body fat.

UPS is showing my glutamine order is coming today and my Stevia powder will come tomorrow.  I’m so excited.  I hope the glutamine helps.  I got a sample in the mail of Kre-a-fem.  My understanding is that it’s creatine but pH balanced for women.  I’m wondering if a lot of women use creatine or is it mostly men????  I’d love it if some girls on here would respond and tell me if they use creatine too for lifting and if it helps.  If so, that’s the next thing I’m considering.  My sample is five pills.  Take one an hour before and one an hour after the gym.  It’s supposed to help.  We’ll see.  It’s a small sample so if it doesn’t work it’s not costing me anything.  I’m on my last week’s worth of ThermoDynamix.  Then you are supposed to take a week off, which is good because I’m out.  I don’t know if I should buy another bottle or try something new.  I don’t want to take too many things. 

My goal was to take it for six weeks, work out, eat right, and when the six weeks was over to be at my goal weight loss/fat loss and just continue working out and building muscle and by then be done trying to burn fat.  That didn’t happen.  I’m not losing fat as hoped for because I ate too much in the beginning.  Maybe I will need a full 12 to 16 weeks to get rid of my fat.  I know I will always need to lift and do my cardio, but I hoped to be at a comfortable weight by now and be able to relax the fat loss portion.  I don’t know what to do. 

Starting this weekend, it’s all about change — some good, some bad.  My first change is starting today.  I’m starting a little 3-day diet I found in the newest Oxygen magazine.  I see that several female lifters got their start with dieting from some diets from this mag so I got this month’s.  So far I’ve been following the B4L plan and I love it, but I’m getting really hungry and afraid of allowing a cheat day on Sunday to be a CRAZY, crazy food day, which has happened to me in the past when I’ve dieted too strictly.  I’ve also read that your body becomes accustomed to things if you do the same thing all of the time so it’s good to trick it to get out of a plateau.  So I’m trying this diet.  I bought all of the stuff I need for it last night at the grocery store.

It’s kind of sad that I spent a Friday after work working out at the gym and then grocery shopping for my newest diet.  Am I getting old?  Shouldn’t I be having fun on Friday?  The thing that’s scary is I was having fun.  I must be old.

Anyways, after the three days I plan to go back to Body 4 Life eating for a long while (hopefully) and then do the diet again in the future sometime.  I like Oxygen diets because besides being low-cal they are still high in protein and include some fat.  When I do B4L I tend to not eat enough fat for fear of eating too much fat, which is why I think I get so hungry.  The three days of this diet are 1200 cal Day 1 and about 1400 cal for Days 2 and 3.  It feels good today to do something a little different.  I don’t feel so hungry today.  The diet also has over 100 grams of protein to for each day.

Now for my bad change.  I’m going out of town for a few days and I’ll have no Gold’s.  I’m very sad about this.  I’ve just gotten into the swing of things and don’t want to alter my lifting and cardio routine.  I’m going to Ohio and the internet shows no Gold’s in the entire state!!!!  I was hoping there would be one near where I’m going and that I could ask them to allow me to go there while I’m in town because I have a membership.  Now what?

I’ve been thinking about it and have been trying to figure out how to get my workouts in.  I SHOULD be doing:  Mon - cardio, Tues - Legs, Wed - cardio, Thurs - arms, Fri - cardio, and Sat - legs, Sun - rest.  I will be in the car most of Wed and Sunday. 

I think I’ll get to my gym on Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday early before I leave.  So I could do legs on Monday and Wednesday and arms on Tuesday and just run outside for cardio on Thurs, Friday, and Saturday and maintain Sunday as a rest day.  This isn’t ideally what I want to do but I can’t think of how to do weights on a trip without a gym unless I include a leg day while I’m gone and squat for 1/2 hr.  Nah.  Doesn’t sound like a good time.  I think I’ll have to think about this more in the next couple of days.

I am bringing all of my B4L food with me since my 3-day diet will be over, lots of oats and protein powder, a few meal replacement bars, fruit. 

Today is arm day so in a bit I’m off to the gym.  Yesterday was cardio day after work and I felt amazing.  I did intervals on the elliptical for half an hour, hit the ab weights because I forgot them on ab day, and felt a little energetic so I got on the treadmill for another 15 minutes, a little less than a mile and a half.  I felt really good.

I’m so hungry I’m ready to eat my own fat.  What is going on?  I know I’m not starving myself because my six mini meals are very similar to what everyone else is eating on these blogs.  I know because I’ve been looking at other’s posts and trying to form my meal plans according to the body 4 life priciples and modify portions according to my size.  I’m only 5 foot so I try to eat like other shorties. 

Oh, well.  I guess I’ll just try to hold out a few more days and then Sunday is going to have to be a cheat day and I need to eat something naughty because I’m so hungry.  I think my body wants and likes to be fat.  I wish I was an ectomorph.

Today was a legs day and abs.  I did four cardio room lengths of squats, hit all of the leg machines at Gold’s and situps on an incline bench and leg raises.  I forgot to do the weighted ab machine, now that I think about it.  Maybe I’ll do it tomorrow after my cardio session to make up for it.  So far so good with my workouts.  I’ve been very faithful to them except yesterday I was pretty bummed because during my cardio on my giant trampoline outside my iPod jammed.  It would not work or do anything all night long.  Today a guy at the store reset it but I was really disappointed because I love jumping on the trampoline with music.  Time flies when I do that and this was my first time on it in 2008.  Too bad it wasn’t fun like normal.   

I guess that’s all for tonight.  I think I’ll read other’s blogs instead of writing my own.  Maybe I’ll have another plate of brocolli to hold me over until tomorrow. 

Yesterday was an upper body workout.  I did chest, arms, back.  I feel it a lot today in my shoulders.  I really need to hit the shoulders because I feel like they’re so unfit looking. I like that "squared" look on shoulders and mine are droopy, weak-looking.  When I was younger and swam regularly I had great shoulders without even trying.  I miss that look.  So now I’m playing catch-up on them. 

Today is a cardio day.  So I will do that sometime this afternoon or evening. 

Yesterday I bought L-glutamine.  I’ve read negative things about it and positive.  Since I’ve purchased it, though, I will use it.  I’ve had digestive problems and IBS so even if it doesn’t help with growing/maintaining my muscles, maybe it will help my belly. 

So far I’m now taking a multivitamin, vitamin C just because it’s SF, chewable, and tastes great  (kid at heart forever).  I started taking 2 fish oil pills a day for oil since I tend to not want to eat my oil.  When I buy fish that’s great, but I don’t like cooking it myself.  It stinks up the garbage and my husband likes it but not that much.  If I ate in restaurants more often I’d get my weekly requirement of it, but since I cook more often than not I eat more chicken than anything.  I know B4L recommends natural PB and I’ll do that but sometimes a teaspoon or tablespoon of PB makes me crave SEVERAL spoonfulls of PB so I just avoid it.   I love PB and nuts - Yummy!  So I’ll just stick to some oil pills.  At least those are easy to eat in moderation.  

I also bought some Stevia.  I’m trying to cut back or avoid artificial sweeteners but still use Splenda.   I cut out diet soda a few weeks ago.  I really like the taste of Splenda but since I’m getting low on Splenda, when it’s done I’m going to start using Stevia.  I’m not trying to fight for or against sweeteners because there’s always conflicting opinions about it.  Just for myself PERSONALLY I want to try some Stevia.  I did in the past use Sweet Leaf and it was tolerable but tasted too much to me like black licorice so I tried a different brand.  I hope it’s good and sweet.  

I think my cravings have gone down in the last few weeks as I’ve gotten better with controlling my "B4L way of life."   I haven’t mastered the food portion yet but I’m getting better and more excited about it every week.  I do like Body 4 Life and I’m sticking to it.  I think I’ll see visible results soon - hopefully by June 1.  My goal is still to avoid the scale for a few weeks.