trnRgrl’s BodyBlog

I did extremely well last week with my training/cardio (most days did twice/day cardio). I was bang on with my diet the earlier part of the week then ate chocolate Friday night, Saturday night (always do fine during the day) AND Sunday!!! But I did carry on with the rest of the day as if I hadn’t cheated. Although I have decided (well about 70% sure….never say never) not to compete in November, I HAVE decided to do a 12 week ‘total transformation’. I need to have an end date and follow something very specific. Because I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be doing November’s shows (IDFA & UFE) it’s made me too relaxed. I feel like I’ve been all over the board…sorta crazy like, lol. Ssssh don’t tell anyone! hahaha

I’m so thankful to have people in my life that keep me motivated and hold me accountable. Although everyone keeps telling me how proud they are of me, and it does remind me to pat myself on my back for what I have managed to achieve, I can’t help but feel disappointed in myself. The mind is a powerful thing….and I can continue to beat myself up or CHOOSE to be proud of ME, too.  I feel SO good when I’m eating clean ALL day for weeks (lately it’s only been a few days at a time)….and then the sugar devil calls my name……

Today was a low carb day and I felt pretty fuzzy headed by about 4pm. BUT I made it through and am enjoying a Roobios Chai tea. I need to be surrounded by ‘like minds’ and bury myself in literature, especially articles on bb.com.

*sigh* Thank goodness I like challenges AND appreciate how great I feel when my nutrition is structured and clean. I’m still lovin’ Ripped Freak (my fat burner of choice), have been feeling extra strong AND underneath a layer of fat am feeling some pretty solid pec muscles…woot! Technically I should be able to lose 10-15 lbs in the next 12 weeks. If I accomplish that and maintain til 20 weeks out from July’s show I’ll be able to focus on maintaining muscle while losing bodyfat for the show.

I do believe in myself…..but it would really help if the sugar devil would just go jump off a bridge…..

So I thought I’d fill everyone in with what’s been going on over the past few months. My plan was to compete with the IDFA on November 7 and with the UFE on November 14. BUT I was not prepared for what transpired post July competition. I knew I would take a few weeks off and give myself time to enjoy some ‘forbidden’ foods before diving back into competition prep mode. I anticipated being able to get my head in the game within a few weeks but oh man was I sadly mistaken. We left for our 2 week vacation 2 weeks post comp and I did extremely well for the most part. I did enjoy french fries once(yummy) and chocolate on quite a few occasions but other than that stuck to my tuna and rice cake meals. My goal was to ‘maintain’. MAINTAIN my butt, lol. I retained water like a sponge. I felt like a fat cow, actually. I seriously felt like somebody blew me up…..something that is so hard to even describe. Even worse than the fat cow syndrome was the depression that followed. Dieting down for a competition is pretty extreme. I experienced a leanness that I loved and wanted to maintain but that is completely unrealistic to do so….unless I was willing to live on 600 calories/day and climb the stepper for 1hr, 20 min twice a day for the rest of my life. Extreme measures render extreme results but what I did to achieve my ’show day’ body was NOT realistic of every day life. This was something that was REALLY hard to accept.

I am feeling much better and nearly back to myself. I did decide last week that I would not compete in November and take the time to get healthy physically and emotionally before travelling the competition road again. Don’t get me wrong….I WILL be travelling it again. You better believe I will be! I am definitely hooked….I just need to be healthy about it and stay true to myself along the way. I am not a quitter and I am a fighter so making the decision to not compete surprised me because with it came peace of mind. I don’t feel sorry for myself or feel like I’ve given up. There are still 8 weeks left so I am fully dieting but not with stress or guilt behind it. I will see where I’m at in 6-7 weeks and if I think I’m show worthy than I will squeeze my body in my itsy bitsy teeny weeny 2-piece not quite polka dot bikini, cram my feet in my plexiglass lady of the night shoes and strutt my stuff in November. If I don’t do November you can betchur derriere I will be on a stage again in early spring. Regardless of when I compete again I will work hard at staying lean year round.

I am a visual person so I have been journalling my diet and while doing so the other day I started to write down affirmations. Whenever I feel like I can’t stay focused I will re-read these affirmations to remind myself why I do what I do and that I CAN do anything I put my mind to. I did it once…I CAN do it again.

I will____________ (1)accomplish my goals (2)enjoy life (3)strive to be the best that I can be (4)be realistic (5)be a good role model for my girls (6)live each day with no regrets knowing my mistakes can be embraced as life lessons and self growth

strength of purpose achieves the impossible….

SO I did it! I said I would….and I did. Although I didn`t place in the top 5 like I started out expecting of myself, I am extremely proud of completing what I set out to do. I gave 110% everday and therefore my results were as best as could be expected. In 13 weeks I lost 25lbs and 10% bodyfat…..how can I be disappointed with that?

I will not pretend that the journey was an easy one. It was grueling towards the end as I was expending more calories than I was consuming in food. My body seemed like it was dying somedays, lol. My alarm would go off at 5:45am, I would roll outta bed like a robot and head to the gym for my first cardio session of the day (that towards the end was 1hr, 20 min EACH). I was seriously dragging my butt the final weeks leading up to the competition.

The competition itself was an amazing and rewarding experience. I had an idea before the show that I would do November`s show BUT it was the show itself that confirmed it for me. So that brings me to today……16 weeks out from November`s show! I was able to relax ALOT with my eating for the week after the show and have felt sick almost every day, lol (serves me right BUT I`ve also deserved it). Tomorrow is day 1 of pre-comp dieting…….getting back into it but still having a cheat day once a week and still eating plenty of carbs to make me a happy camper.

For those of you who have followed my journey and offered words of encouragment and support, I thank YOU so much. I could NOT have done this without you.

BTW…..I`m feeling severely sick on chocolate caramel cups and jujubes…..this may be a very loooong night, lol

As I write this I am waiting for my Organic Peach Blossom White Tea to steep…..yummy So, today was another successful day of eating. I was tired today and did have a few dizzy moments (and it is not because I’m blonde, lol) but I am feeling much better after meal #5.

1- 7:30- shake (Hemp protein, 300ml Almond Breeze, 1/2 cup frozen strawberries)

2- 10:30-grilled chicken (3.5oz), sweet potatoe (4oz, baked w/skin)

3- 2:00- post workout shake (MRP)

4- 4:30-1 cup eggwhites/salsa, roasted mini new potatoes (4oz)

5- 7:30-CAN I JUST SAY THAT I WANTED TO EAT MY FACE OFF BY NOW- but since that would be sick I had tilapia (4oz) and 2 cups assorted veggies (snow peas, spinach, sweet peppers and broccoli) AND 1Tbsp of almond butter licked off a spoon…..seriously this is going to be my saving grace during the next few weeks…..it’s almost as good as chocolate and s…..nevermind, lol, you get the picture

6- I will have this meal at 9:30 and I will either have eggwhites and almond butter or my protein pudding BUT whatever it is will be enjoyed immensely

My workout was awesome today, too! They have been really great lately and I am noticing daily changes. I am still in a build phase (packin’ on the muscle) but as of mid/end April I will be kicking into high gear (higher reps, supersets, multiple bodyparts on the same day for bigger caloric expenditures now that I won’t require the calories for building muscle) AND my cardio will be structured and consistent.