Mindless Self Indulgence

if’ you’ve read my recent blog posts you are probably wondering what the hell is going on!!!  after all this is a fitness forum, not a daytime soap opera. so now i feel obligated to maybe discuss something more fitness-minded.

so i’m going to be honest with you here - and i realize that may hurt my chances of attracting a quality harem in the future. lol.

i’m not a huge mass monster like some here but like you i do enjoy fitness and living healthy. i also enjoy seeing progress and transforming my physique the best i can. currently i’ve been on a quest for mass but it has come at the expense of some definition.

now, some might say “why would you want to be 190 when you look fine at 170?” and i’ll tell you why – it’s to compensate for my small penis! ever wonder who those ‘enlarge your penis’ ads in the back of your fitness magazine are for?…….ME! my d!ck wouldn’t fully satisfy 99.9% of the female population. and now i know you are wondering ‘who is this .1% tride can actually satisfy?’ the typical profile of this .1% would likely be a 4’9” 70lb virgin from thailand. and the worst part is….i’ve never been to thailand!!! and if you happened to read my post from last week you already know i have a raging labido. yeah i know, a horrible combination…..i’m cursed!

anyway, somehow i figure if i gain 20lbs of muscle will my d!ck will miraculously grow an inch. unfortunately this isn’t the case. instead the larger i get, the proportionally smaller my penis looks. so for now i continue to get bigger to hopefully create an illusion…..as long as i keep my pants on. maybe if you see me looking all swol you’ll automatically assume ‘damn that guy is huge, his c0ck must also be huge!”    

that’s right…you heard me…..i just tripled the number of friends i have one day!!! and they are some of the most popular people here in b-space!

let me start by giving a recap. i added six of the top women and six of the top men profiles as friends in hopes that they would add me making me an instant b-space success. out of these twelve eight agreed that i am friend material. what an ego boost! don’t worry, i’m doing extra neck excersises in the gym to hold this enlarged head i have.  

however, four people have not deemed me friend worthy and unfortunatly i don’t handle rejection well.

the one that hurts the most is ‘chicken tuna’. i just like the name so much. it will be hard to not have a friend named ‘chicken tuna’. plus she does have a rockin lower half. abs that ripped on a chick are not super sexy imo, but i’ll overlook that since she does have such a good name. 

on the guy’s side i’m dissapionted that joshbme didn’t accept me into his life. his professionally photograhed rippling body in tighty whities made me question my sexuality. i particurlarily like the shots where he is holding a basket ball or a football in his undies. like a lot of guys i often imagine (for some strange reason) that when you get a group of girls together for a sleep-over they have pillow fights in their underwear. maybe women and gay men imagine a bunch of men playing football or basketball in thier underwear?? regardless he does have an attractive physique and i’m sure he would really be able to help my e-reputation.

anyway, now that i’ve conquered this quest i’m considering starting a b-space harem. and we can thank my friend stormiorsini for this grand idea. so stay tuned….

this place is great….like being in highschool all over again! i go the the main b-space page and right away i see all the popular kids…..the ones that everyone adores and wishes they could be like. how can you not love them……they are beautiful and their poses are ‘ooooh sooo provocative’. these people obviously spend a lot of time here making e-friends and e-socializing to improve their e-status. 

so anyway, i’m kinda new here and trying to figure out all the stuff that is on this site. and there is lots of stuff! one thing i found is a really cool feature i just figured out….you can get pseudo friends. i already have 7 of them and so far i cherish their relationships. see, already i’m starting to move up the popularity charts!

so like any freshman wanting to hang out with all the really cool kids, i figured i’d try and kiss up, tell them how great they are, and just try to sit with them at lunch. so, today is my first attempt at being e-cool - and i added all the top profile guys and gals as friends of mine in my b-space profile. now i show up in their ‘fan club’ (which i am just a fan at the moment) and in my profile it will say i’m stalking them (which is true, i’m a stalker) - great isn’t it! and if they accept me as an e-friend then i’ll be friends with some popular folks.

now if you happen to be one of my seven initial friends, you’re probably thinking "oh crap, tride26 is going to start hanging out with the cool kids and won’t want to associate with me". unfortunatly, this may be true. it’s just part of being popular. lol.

so, i’ll let you know which of these cool cats accepts me as a friend and report on it in tomorrow’s blog. before you know it, i’ll be captain of the football team, prom king, and be dating all the cheerleaders.

my libido has been freaking out of control recently. something must be wrong with me!

the opposite sex at my gym is driving me nuts. i can’t even focus on my workouts any more. i need to join an all male club, like how women have that ‘curves’ workout place that excludes men. it’s probably great for them at ‘curves’. they can focus on getting in shape instead of worrying about prancing around in a skimpy workout outfit trying to catch eyes of horny people like me!

anyway, yesterday i seriously couldn’t stop staring at this one chick at my gym. she was wearing the standard "please guys look at me outfit" which consisted of a spandex shorts and a sports bra. and of course she had to do her entire workout in the free weight area and made a point to move around frequently so everyone got a fair look. i was so focused on her i could tell you how many sets of each excersise she did and i could even recite the weight she used for each move. the sad part is i can’t even remember which muscles i was supposed to be working. i lost track of which set i was on and seemed very confused by my workout.

ok, back to her - the highlight was when she did her sets of lower back extensions on that contraption where you are bent over it with your head hanging down toward the floor. when she raised her head up on each rep she could see me staring with my mouth wide open. most stares you quickly look away when you get caught…..but not this stare. i just kept gazing in awe. i seriously wanted to wreck house on that!

if my problem was just with this one female i’d be ok with that. but it’s not! even the bigger gals on the ellipticals look good to me. at the grocery store, on the street, out to eat and everywhere i go i’ll mind undress each female i see. i’m always horny but this has reached unprecidented levels as of late. i think it has to do with the increadibly long dry spell i’m in. i’m like the sahara in need of rain, like an alaskan winter in need of sun, and like that hyper dog at the pound who needs to get out and run. green day says "when masterbation’s lost it’s fun you’re ****ing breaking".

 maybe i’m breaking??

ok, so people ask me all the time what my secret is.

actually, to be honest they don’t ask me this, i just thought it would be something good to say in my blog.

anyway, if you want to know my secret, too bad. it’s my secret and i’m keeping it that way. besides if i told you my secret it wouldn’t be a secret any longer now would it?

so, since i’m not giving you my secret i’ll give you some other fitness secrets….that actually aren’t really secrets since most eveyone knows them already.

take a 1-2 day break from dieting every week or two. it helps trick you body into thinking it’s not starving to death and makes your body more willing to shed the fat once you go back on the diet.

overall results are better with the slow and steady approach. quick fluctuations in body weight is not healthy and to achieve long term/lasting results you need to be consistent. bouncing around with your diet and programs is more likly to lead to burnout.  everyone wants fast results but the people who actually get results take the long road to get them.

btw…..my secret isn’t all that exciting anyway. maybe i’ll reveal it eventually.