Quick Review of My BB.com Goals
Short-term goal: i am looking for a meaningless short-term relationship. i feel like i am successfully accomplishing this goal right here on bb.com. most of my relationships here are very quick and meaningless. typical conversations consist of quick 1-2 sentence blurbs like "you look fabulous" or "keep up the good work". once i have maybe 5 good sayings down i think i’ll just rotate them through. so far this is what i have: "i like how your not missing any teeth"; "your boobs look even"; "i like the way you styled your hair"; "you look a lot better than last profile i was just on"
i would also like to meet rachel ray from the food network cooking channel.
she could cook toast and i’d be ok with that.
Long-term goal:
1. dig the toy out of a box of cereal without spilling any.
this is extremly difficult, especially when using a brand new box. i think i need to hone my skill at flexing the box to allow enough room to slide my hand down toward the bottom to successfully probe for the toy.
2. start pretending that i smoke.
still working on this but i seem to cough everytime i enhale wich is a dead givaway.
3. stop masterbating in the public library.
i believe i can accomplish this if i just stop visiting the sex education/human anatomy book area.
4. flush without clogging.
i’ve even tried using less toilet paper. not sure what to do here. i think it just takes luck.
5. quit looking for a meaningful relationship at strip clubs.
now this goal is purely for financial reasons.
6. pay for everything with loose change.
i believe this might help me accomplish goal #5.
7. train my dog to hump strangers legs.
thought this might be a good way to meet some new people. great ice-breaker!
8. quit throwing food on people at restaurants.
i really need to stop this. it seems to completly piss people off!
9. eat cheetos without getting orange fingers.
i’m stumped on how to acomplish this but i’ll keep trying.
10. stop taking sink showers in public restrooms.
people are ok with this until i start washing below my chest.
11. tailgate people less.
although it’s fun, it seems to really upset the person in front of me.
12. try not to get caught on "how to catch a predator"
so far so good on this one!
March 9, 2008 at 7:38 pm
Wow!~ Now those are some lofty goals for sure. I too would like to meet a Food Network chef, Bobby Flay. He can toast my buns anytime! Now, just what to do with their spouses?
Funny, funny blog entry though. Thanks for making me laugh.
March 9, 2008 at 7:50 pm
Dude,
Your going to drive me to start drink’en alcohol and party’en. I never laughed so hard, I want to party with this you…. you should change your career and become a comic….great stuff…..clc.
March 9, 2008 at 8:25 pm
See Tride! I told you right from the word GO you need to be writing for a comedian! OR..be a comedian!! lmao. Thank you for the laughs!! And i second clcassani’s sentiments…i would totally love to party with you! lmao!
March 10, 2008 at 8:21 am
party?…..bring on the tequila and strippers!
actually, i’m really a lot more mellow than you’d think.
i rarely drink. but do have an occasional joint.
however, this stupid sense of humor is with me everyday!
March 10, 2008 at 9:02 am
#4. Answer= Rapid Flushing during Defication.
#7. Take it to the next level. See if you can get him to stick!!
#9. Answer= Inhale directly from the bag.
P.S. I like how your teeth are not missing like that last guys profile I was just on!!
March 10, 2008 at 9:07 am
lol. thanks nomadek. you have answered some of lifes biggest mysteries!
March 10, 2008 at 9:12 am
I dont party very much either…too focused on training and honestly (this is going to ruin my ‘bad girl’ image) i love to lay in the sun (a.k.a. Kiss of RA) and read!! I’m studying Tao right now! So i’m kind of a geek or dork! lol. BUT..when I do get out and party….it’s ‘girls gone wild’ and most of my friends tease me about winding up in jail! lmao I havent been out since the week before xmas…down in Texas…in a strip club! lmao - umm…no i didnt end up in jail….but it was an AWESOME night! Well…hopefully this doesnt TOTALLY ruin your image of me! lmao
March 10, 2008 at 9:42 am
Stormi you may not have ended up in Jail but I have to ask did you end up on stage?
Tride - Thanks for the good laugh and I am happy your response to one of my blogs was not any of the above mentioned 5 short comments. Although I have used at least two of them on other peoples profiles.
Have a good one.
Big James
March 10, 2008 at 10:11 am
stormi = girls gone wild. lol.
March 10, 2008 at 10:14 am
"3. stop masterbating in the public library."
Have I seen you before???
March 10, 2008 at 1:54 pm
maddi….what were you doing in the sex education - human anatomy section of the library?
March 10, 2008 at 2:09 pm
I’ll put my 2 cents in. Goal number 1. try opening the box upside down. The toy should be at the bottom of the box. Hope this helps you reach your goal. Friends at BB.com, Bruce ps: I’ll work on some more goals for you later
March 10, 2008 at 2:34 pm
highflyer nailed the cereal trick…
Good show!
UNC > DUKE
March 10, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Oh,I love Racheal Ray! Come on I bet I know your favorite episode…I know it’s mine! The block party episode where it’s cold outside and she’s wearing a thin shirt! OMG she has big nipples! I love that episode!
March 11, 2008 at 7:27 am
#10 — There’s showers in public restroom?
……or are your cranking up the water pressure on the bidet…..:)~