trance__dreamer’s BodyBlog

Hallelujah! I’m no longer backed up! I was pleasantly surprised after I woke up this morning. I literally rejoiced in the bathroom & then again after my workout. LOL. Okay…I know this is SUCH a taboo topic, especially since I’m a female. But fck it. =P

Also, it was my 2nd REAL day back @ the gym today. Today, I did 30 mins on the treadmill & 30 mins on the elliptical & then did some lower body stuff. I couldn’t do much, though. ‘Cause my hip flexors are feeling tender for some strange reason. =S I think it’s ’cause I haven’t ran since 04/03, & then I ran yesterday for the 1st time since then & yea. =S I woke up & was like "…damn. No squats today?! FCK." So…yea. =( But I’m still glad that I ran yesterday & today. This water must be shed, god damn it!

Anyway. Tomorrow is upper body again. w00t! & then Tuesday I’ll most likely be helping teach a Group Fitness class @ my practicum lady’s other place that she teaches @, for t3h 1337 experience before I get evaluated. If not, it’ll be a lower body split day, once again. =)

Hmm…I’m still assuming that it’ll take ’til Saturday for all of this bloat & water retention to go away. (& then the sexy times will commense. It sounds immensely ridiculous, I know. But it’s virtually impossible for me, personally, to feel good about myself when nothing fits, when you look in the mirror, 1 of those puffed out fish is looking back @ you, & you can’t see any of your definition whatsoever that you’re continously working hard on to achieve.) Yet again, when I left the gym today, my workout top & pants were SOAKED, in sweat. I fckin’ LOVE that shit! =) It’s definately the extra "weight" from the bloat + water & also the water escaping. That’s exactly what I’m after. SUCCESSSSS!!! So, w/ the combination of … fecal excretion + sweat, my abdominal region has started subsiding/is starting to not stick out as far, & my workout pants are starting to get less tight/are getting a bit looser again. PRAISE BE FCKIN’ JEBUS!

Hmm…yea. I’m hoping that this emotional eating thing stops once & for all…eventually. I’m 23 now, & it’s starting to feel ridiculous & unnecessary. I don’t get stressed out about much very often, which is great. But when I do, I just resort to the same ol’ stuff, again. However, it’s important to note that most of the time, I don’t go completely off the deep end. I "binge" on healthy foods. But a calorie is still a calorie & can set you back/stall your progress. I’d list what I ate. (I keep a food journal but have yet to start counting calories/macros.) But most of you’d just laugh. It’s all healthy, & the portions aren’t a lot for most of you. But I’m a female w/ a very low L.B.M. or whatever the correct acronym is. & that’s 1 of the exact reasons why I lift: to dramatically increase my L.B.M., so when I do binge, the results will be less devastating. But I’d honestly prefer just get over the emotional eating thing. *sigh*

Lastly, tonight, I’m meeting up w/ my faaaavourite trance "besties" (friends) to go to a locals night (trance D.J.s in Vancouver) to show my support & trance prance dance around for the night; I almost enjoy this more than fitness. … almost. =P Hmm…I’m assuming that guy (see previous blog entry) will be there. But he’s scrawny as fck & wouldn’t be even able to trip me. Hmm…I’ve noticed that he seems to be 1 of those "internet tough guys but lacks real-life confidence" kind-of-guy, w/ a tra(n)ce of annoying white-knight fail(flail)’ery. & I swear to god, if we didn’t have mutual friends, I would have no reason to keep myself exposed to such garbage. I’m finding it so frusterating ’cause it’s completely uncalled for. I’m the nicest & sweetest mofo’er you’ll ever meet. (However, I have a feeling some of the garbage stems from an early failed attempt @ picking me up. lol.) However, I’m not 1 of those nice girl, types who thinks that they deserve this treatment. My dad was quite firm on raising me to not tolerate any of this kinda garbage. & I haven’t so far in my life, except w/ him. (The things I do for trance…Seriously.) & It’s so upsetting, ’cause NO ONE treats me like garbage, NO ONE, as everyone I’ve met, thus far in my life, responds well to my nice’ness & is nice in return. =P So, this is new to me. I’m not uncomfortable w/ pple hating me. Pple have hated me in the past. But they haven’t constantly reminded me of it. They’ve just kept their distance & let me be. But ugh…not going to trance club nights is a dumb option & an unnecessary one @ that, ’cause he doesn’t go to much anymore. But still. The scene is quite small. Anyway. His garbage has been helping me fuel my workouts yesterday & today. If only he knew… HAH. & meh…It’s gunna be fun, tonight w/ my amigooOoOs! I can’t wait! =) TRANCE TRANCE TRANCE. =O

P.S.: My apologies for the non-fitness part @ the end. This is the only blog I use. =/

This entry was posted on Sunday, April 19th, 2009 at 4:05 pm and is filed under Training. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.