trance__dreamer’s BodyBlog

#1: I got my Lifting stats wrong, again. I forgot to factor in the weight of the bar, itself. lol. *updates AGAIN* I feel so dumb. =P

#2: My Lesson Plan was followed for the most part. But I had to change around a few things to suit their needs. (They were able to keep up, as expected. So, I made it even harder.)

#3: Hmm…I think that’s it, actually. =P

A few things I wanted to write about:

#1: I just noticed/realized that the "Lifting Stats" profile thing is for BARBELLS & not dumbells. Oops! No wonder my #s looked so small. I kinda thought that everyone was just really strong. LOL. So, you’ll see a major jump in my progress charts. =P

#3: I’ve changed my "diet" to less fat, more carbs, & no more protein than I need. I try to follow the following as best as I can:

2000 calorie eating plan:

120 grams of protein (4 cals x 120 = 480 cals)

50 grams of fat (9 cals x 50 grams = 450 cals)

275 grams of carbohydrates (4 cals x 275 grams = 1100 cals)

= 50% carbs/25% protein/25% fat^^ I don’t know my maintenance, my bf%, my lean body mass, etc. & I don’t really calorie count/macronutrient count. But this seems to be some-what ideal for my stats/life. So, I’m keeping it in the back of my mind the whole time while eye-balling stuff. My progress is alright, though.#3: As a result of more carbs & less fat, I’m getting major pimples around my chin/top of my neck again. Ugh. But my fat loss is going alright. So, you gotta take the good w/ the bad. When I was on keto this past winter, my pimples were non-existant. But I was gaining fat back like crazy. =’(

So, the other day, 1 of the guys @ the gym came up to me & asked if I was a competitive Figure/Fitness model. I was like "LOL. No. Not even close." He said that he thought that I really had some real potential & should look into doing it. This got me thinking: I wanted to in the long-term future. But why don’t I just continue on w/ my summer cut all the way ’til the end of the year?

"Northern Classic-June 6th, 2009

BC Provincials-July 25th, 2009

Fitness and Figure Nationals - August 15th

2009 CBBF Canadian National Fitness & Figure Championships Date Aug 15, 2009

Canadian Bodybuilding Championships- August 22nd

Sandra Wickham Fall Classic-November TBA"

^^ Maybe I’ll do the November show if it’s in Vancouver.

Anyway. I’m getting evaluated for Group Fitness on Wednesday. I went to my friend’s evaluation on friday & saw her do a fantastic job! & I’ve been checking the jobs link every once & a while on B.C.R.P.A.’s website since I first decided to become an instructor. I looked yesterday & emailed a few places. I already got a reply back. They said that it doesn’t matter that I’m just starting out. They told me to reply back w/ my resume & a time/date when I can go to their office to meet them. They’re "Survivor Bootcamp" in North Delta/Ladner. I’m going to be living back @ home in North Delta during the month of July. So, this would be perfect for me then! =)

I’m taking 3 days off from the gym. *sigh* Woe is me. I’ll be taking the C.P.R./1st Aid course tomorrow (Mon) & Tues.. & I’m getting evaluated on Wednesday. ahaha. Today & yesterday, while I was doing 60 mins on the ramp thingy, I was going over my routines & actually managed to create a shit load more! I’ve struggled w/ comming up w/ new patterns. But a flock of them came flooding into my head yesterday whilst doing cardio, & I reviewed them all in my head today while on the machine. I’d like to go to the gym tomorrow after my C.P.R./1st Aid course to practise for a bit; probably before dinner. But on Tuesday, I don’t wanna think about my Group Fitness stuff @ all. Besides, it’s the finale of the Biggest Loser. GO TARA! She reminds me of me so much in regards to pre-body comp, post-body comp, & drive/determination. It’s fckin’ scary! o__O

Hmm…that’s all for now. I’ll be going to White Spot for dinner w/ my family for Mother’s Day in a little while; Gunna get what I always get: the lifestyles choice chicken dinner thingy. (1 chicken breast, a sm. salad, & seasonal veggies.) I usually double it up, since I consider veggies to be air, & I could use the extra protein. /m\

Anyway. My next post will probably be after I’m evaluated. oOoOo.

#1: C.P.R. & 1st Aid on Mon & Tues should be more interesting than I thought. I was kinda thinking it’d be boring. But now I’m actually pretty excited for it.

#2: Free R.M.R. tests @ the London Drugs on Victoria Dr. or W. Broadway on Mon & Tues from 10-6. I’m going during the lunch break on Tues w/ my sister. =)

#3: I finally booked my I.C.E. (evaluation) for Wednesday. I’ve been waiting to hear back from my practicum lady for a few weeks now. =/ *sigh* So, I’m SUPER PUMPED for that!

#4: I’m also looking forward to tomorrow & the weekend. I booked a rental space in the suburbs (Surrey) for tomorrow afternoon. I’ll be going straight there after I finish watching my friend get I.C.E.D. tomorrow morning. =) I’m also gunna be booking some space @ either Killarney or Bonsor for Saturday afternoon or evening. I think I’ll be able to get some more friends/family to come, as tomorrow is too short of notice. The lady just replied back to my inquiry this morning.

#5: I think that’s it, actually. =P Oh yea. My exercises today didn’t go down in strength. But just give it a bit more time, & they undoubtedly will. =/ *sigh* & the cut continues… =/

So, in my post the other day, I said that I saw the saddest thing ever. However, I take that statement back. Today, Wednesday, I saw the sadest thing ever. I was comming home from the gym, & I saw this guy get on a bus. He was my age, probably a year or 2 younger. He was hot as fck in the face. SO CUTE. But I could tell that he used to be morbidly obese. MORBIDLY. like…really bad. It looked like he was about 1/4th done his transformation. He had a thin face. But from his clothes, I could tell that he still had a lot to lose. & he had the hanging pouch so bad. Same w/ thick thighs & upper arms. I felt so bad. I knew I shouldn’t have felt bad, ’cause it’s obvious that he’s been working on changing it for a while now. But it looked so aweful. I actually started bawling my eyes out…then stopped…then started again. Fck. =( It kinda reminds me of what I went through & makes me realize that I didn’t have it that bad. I still have thigh, upper arm, & a pooch. But they were never out of proportion w/ the rest of my body that bad. Hmm…it’s hard to explain. =S Anyway. I wish him the best of luck, & I really hope that he finds out about this website. =) … but not this. =P

Anyway. I went out & FINALLY got a new pair of runners today. I used to have New Balance MX777’s. (http://www0.au.shopping.com/xPO-New-Balance-New-Balance-777-MX777) I bought them @ the end of August. & w/ all of the activity I’ve been doing, as well as wearing them out & about, except @ clubs, they recently died on me. I got blisters on Sunday. But when I wore them on Monday, they had gone down, & the areas weren’t sore anymore. So, I knew I had to go out & get new ones. On Tuesday, my feet were fine as well. But today, I had some time to kill before t3h gymz0rz. So, I went to the mall next door & picked up a pair of these babies: http://www.newbalance.com/running/training/MR769/ : New Balance MR769’s. My cardio was all smooth sailing today. I think I like runners (M[b]R[/b]769) better than trainers (M[b]X[/b]777). They feel a bit better. My previous runners were all trainers as well. Fckin’ rights! /m\

On the way from the mall to the gym, I ran into an ex. I’m friends w/ all of my ex’s. But this guy is a real piece of work. I’ve not kept contact w/ this one. I pretended to not see him & didn’t let him get a chance to talk to me. I had my headphones on getting my pre-pump on, anyway. However, I also ran into TWO old co-workers @ the mall. That was neat. =)

So, as I said in my post from yesterday, my bicep curls & hammer curls went down yesterday, & my shrugs went down today. =/ Ah, well. That’s the way she goes.

Anyway. I booked my C.P.R./1st Aid for Mon & Tues 8:30-5:30. & I’ve been texting back & forth all day w/ my Group Fitness Practicum lady. I’m hoping to be I.C.E.D. (evaluated) on Wednesday in her class. =) 

(EDIT: I created this post before the forum/bodyspace downtime for upgrades. I made it on Saturday but wrote in it on Tuesday.) So, I made a reply in a thread called something like "Ladies, what is your summer cut program?" in the Female Misc. section. Basically, it made me realize that I haven’t really been plateauing & that I just really need to start counting calories. I’m LITERALLY giving it my all each & every work out. Literally. I don’t struggle in that regard. But, I struggle w/ eating. (I think most pple are like this. They’re really good @ exercising but suck @ dieting.) I’ve been pretty much @ an equilibrium since I gained the 20′ish lbs (2′ish pant sizes) from Keto by N.Y.E.. I seemed to lose about 5′ish lbs (0.5 pant sizes) in February. & that’s when I took it easy on the fats & upped the carbs. Go figure; eh? =P So, that’s exactly what I’m gunna be doing again. I really really REALLY love peanut butter & mayonaise. But I’m going through…like…a jar of it a week. (WHILE STILL MAINTAINING, though. =O … although, I still seemed to have gained back those 5′ish lbs since then.) I do believe that if I cut these 2 foods (err…sauces :p) out, I’m gunna be seeing EPIC results. EPIIIIIIC. (I can’t just have 2 tbsps of p.b.. So, I don’t have a choice but to eliminate it all together; same w/ trail mixes/mixed nuts. =/ … Although, I never buy that stuff. =P) So, that’s what I’ve been doing. I’ve replaced it w/ cereal & milk. xD & already, even after a couple of days, I’m noticing some results, i.e.: some cuts/definition in my upper abs, upper back, & lower legs. CRAZINESS. I’m also easing back on the protein. I was probably consuming much, anyway. I’d probably eat more than 200 grams/day. I’m gunna see if I can get by w/ 150. That should be around 0.8grams/lb of body weight. (I’m assuming I’m around 180 lbs, seeing as how I’m 5′11 & have broad shoulders & really big calf muscles.) Ah, yes. It’s gunna be a great p.b. & mayo free summer. xD I’m gunna re-introduce myself to my love of fruit, as well. Carbs will be my best friend this summer. CEREAAAAAL. Nature’s Path makes some really great cereals. They’re organic, as well. =P Mothafck fat. I’m gunna make sure I’m not consuming more than 20% (I dunno…60 grams?) of my intake from fats.

I’ve been really serious about this for about the 2nd day now, (although I stopped w/ the p.b. a few weeks ago & gradually got off the mayo for about 2 weeks now,) & today, I noticed that my bicep curls & hammer curls went down in strength a bit. For these 2 exercises, I did 10 reps w/ 25s. By the 10th rep, it felt like I was on the 5th one w/ 27.5’s. (I usually do 10 reps w/ 27.5’s.) & It usually feels like the 3rd one w/ 27.5’s; So, a bit of a strength loss, indeed. However, my chest flys, tricep extensions, reverse curls, shrugs, & oblique raises were perfectly fine, though. & yesterday, my deadlifts, rows, arnold presses, shoulder presses, squats, & leg extensions were also all perfectly fine as well. Ah, well. I must keep in mind that my #1 goal is fat loss. Muscle gain & strength gain are definately my 2nd priority. So, I’m not really all that concerned.

hah. That reminds me. There’s this middle-aged woman that always, every single time, tries out almost every exercise I do & in the exact same order I do. She sort of mimmicks my split. It’s really cute. Today, I was doing shrugs w/a 60′er in each hand, & she went & got, I think, 15’s, which is really heavy for her. Aww. I’m making a difference/impact! =O She actually approached me back in February to tell me that she noticed that 5 lbs lost. It was nice. =) I met her in a group fitness class I went to observe back in January. She’s got a sort of twisted view of fat loss/body composition, though. =S (i.e. low calories, low protein, overdoing cardio, weighing herself every few minutes - literally, etc.) But @ least she’s consistently weight training, which I absolutely respect her for, as most females don’t try it.

Anyway. The Biggest Loser is on tonight, & I’m super pumped for it! I simply can NOT wait to watch! =)

Lastly, I saw a morbidly obese young woman (15′ish) running to catch her bus about 1/4ths of a block away. It was the sadest thing I’ve ever seen. =( I want to help her. But I don’t know her. I’ve never seen her before. Hopefully, she’ll find her way some time in the near future before it’s too late. =/ It’s things like that, which make me really excited to get going on my career. I also really want to start teaching so I can maybe connect w/ my participants on a personal level, get to know ‘em, & help ‘em out that way. Ah, it’ll be very personally rewarding, indeed.

So, tomorrow will mark the 1 year anniversary of me moving away from home in the suburbs & into Vancouver w/ my lovely Grandma, who needs a bit of help doing stuff these days. w00t! /m\

Before moving, I had a nervous breakdown. For real. From the beginning of December ‘07 –> April ‘08, I gained over 50 lbs back; probably close to 75 lbs. I made myself wait ’til the end of that semester to move away, though, ’cause I was a cheap fck, who didn’t wanna waste money (you can only get a 70% refund & that’s w/in the 1st week) & would rather waste time being miserable. Oh, how I’ve changed.

Anyway. I lost all of the weight once the beginning of November rolled around but then gained about 20 lbs (2 pant sizes) back once I joined here & learned about Keto. hah. HAH. hahahaha. FAIL. & I haven’t been able to lose any of it since, (maybe 5 lbs, if that,) regardless of my epic efforts & changing my routine around every once & trying out new stuff to further confuse my body. I started Keto in the middle of November & stopped @ the end of December. My pants that once were loose were now skin tight around the thighs & could button up around my crotch instead of my belly button. I tried on the pants @ the end of February, & they were less horrible, which accounts for the 5′ish lbs. But since then, I haven’t really lost anything else. I’ve done a few cycles of higher fats/less carbs, a few cycles of higher carbs/less fats, & cycling my calories…but still nothing. Ah, well. In all honesty, it’s not a complete fail. My strength continues to grow, I can feel/I’ve noticed my muscles getting bigger underneath the fat - i.e.: gaining size continuously, (which is just pushing the fat slightly outwards, though =/,) & I’m not gaining any fat - i.e. I seem to be in a perfect state of equilibrium. @ least Summer’s just around the corner. I would’ve really liked to have spent it w/ my re-achieved body. But @ least I won’t have to wear pants in the summer: shorts are a person w/ wide thighs’s best friend. xD

Anyway. I didn’t want this post to be negative @ all. So, I’ll discuss 2 other topics:

I got my 1st real comment @ the gym yesterday. I was starting my stuff after my cardio, & this guy, who I’ve seen around for a while now, was like "how long have you been @ this exercise thing?" & I told him that I’ve been lifting since Jan of ‘07. & he was like "*Impressive nod face (raised eyebrows & nodding)* Wow. I’ve noticed that you’re pretty strong." & I just laughed & smiled really wide & said Thanks. Wow. My 1st real compliment. No one ever tries to talk to me. I’m neutral either way. My music is my workout partner, & I get into a certain state of trance/zone during my workout & really enjoy it. But I’m not against pple comming up to talk to me whatsoever @ all. Meh. I must look just that intimidating, eh? =P

Lastly, today, I did something I’ve never ever done before. Infront of my gym, is a softball field/soccer field thingy. I had originally planned to use 1 or 2 of the cardio machines. But I was like "wtf? What for? It’s SO nice outside!" So, I ran laps & did bodyweight exercises. I could see everyone in the cardio room glaring @ me. bahaha. I’ll be doing that again & again. It was EPIIIIIC!

Alohaaaa. xD

The weather here is getting nicer by the day, minus the minor wind storm we had a few days ago. & you know what that means…summer’s just around the corner! Late June is usually when the weather starts to get nice, and July-onward is clear blue skies allll over. I’m looking forward to this summer, once again, now that almost all of this water retention/bloat has subsided. I was accurate w/ my estimation this past weekend, when I predicted that I’d wake up Saturday back to normal. I firmly believe that after my workout tomorrow, I’ll be back, mofo’s! Anyway. I’m hoping to take the C.P.R./1st Aid course this weekend, as I need to get my certification before I get examined for Group Fitness, & I’d still really like to reach my goal of having done that by the end of the month, which is on Wednesday. Time’s ticking! I emailed a buncha places before I left for the gym this morning, & only 1 has emailed me back. The Vancouver branch of St John’s Ambulance is "full for this weekend’s course but can put me down for next weekend." err…no. I also emailed both the Burnaby branch & the Richmond branch. So, we’ll see what they say. *fingers fckin’ crossed* my god…

http://www.bcrpa.bc.ca/jobs/fitness.htm <– Just look @ alllll of those joooobs. A lot are for personal trainers. But there’s a good chunk for Group Fitness leaders. There’s also some for Weight Room Attendants. I’ll get on that as soon as I get evaluated for that as well. But I’m not gunna be doing that ’til June, as I want to take all of May to start teaching regularly & perfect my patterns, choreography, etc.

Anyway. I’m looking forward to this summer; VERY much so. Teaching, sunshine, etc. My grandma’s probably going to Italy from the end of June –> end of July. So, I’ll be 100% incharge of dinner. That’s great news for me, as her cooking definately keeps me below a 2 lbs/week fat loss. …although now, it’s more like 2 lbs/month, as I’ve been plateauing badly for a while now. So, I’ll be home alone here w/ my younger cousin living w/ me. He works close by. So, it’ll be fine for him, I hope. I dunno…I’m fine during the day, since I’m always out & about going to classes, the gym, errands, etc. But @ night, I get paranoid in my 1/2-asleep state, ’cause we’ve been having A LOT of suspicious activity happening here, including: a new parked car infront of our house almost every night & groups of young guys meeting up outside - I can’t understand what they’re saying, though, ’cause they speak Cantonese or Mandarine - & then racing off in their rice rockets, w/ their exhausts startling me out of slumber @ 3 a.m.. FCKERS. Ever since I moved in almost a year ago (it’ll be a year on the 28th of this month,) it’s been escalating rapidly, especially after we got broken into on Remembrance Day last year, after the neighbours got broken into a few months before-hand. Ugh. Killarney is supposed to be 1 of the nicer areas; right? We don’t live near the Vietnamese area of Kingsway or anything like that. =S

Anyway. What can ya do. @ least there hasn’t been any shootings in our area…yet. I’m assuming it all has to do w/ drugs. But ’cause of my lovely choice in music, I’m exposed to "drug culture" on a regular basis. So, it doesn’t bother me the slightest. Drugs themselves don’t bother me. I mean…do whatever you want w/ your body. It’s your choice. Just don’t pressure me into trying it. & Luckily for me, no one has. Everyone - minus that **** mentioned in a previous post - wuvs me. xD But I’ll be damned if I’m gunna put any of that stuff into mine. … But you could’ve guessed that, seeing as how I’m a health conniseur, eh?

I had so much to write about but forgot to make notes throughout the day. So, I’ll just mention the 1 thing I managed to remember:

I’m currently figuring out a new split for myself. Since I’ll be teaching soon, (after being evaluated & also after getting C.P.R. & 1st Aid,) I’m gunna have a new schedule to work around. Basically, it’s probablyyy gunna fck everything up.

I think i’m gunna take the opportunity to do start doing a new routine; probably not too different, though.

Presently, & for quite a while now, I’ve been doing a 2 day upper/lower w/ 1/2 isolations & 1/2 compounds on each day. Basically, I’ve been exposing myself to the best of both worlds. Isolations for bb’ing/definition purposes & Compounds for strength purposes…even though w/ strength, comes size. =)

I haven’t really deadlifted or benched PROPERLY before. (I’ve done ’em in classes, but the weights only go up to 10 lbs. LOL.) I did some REAL deadlifts yesterday after my cardio with REAL weights; needess to say, I was on cloud 9, even though every fcker’s eyes were on my ass whilst doing so. PERVS, for christ’s sake. =P & I’m allll too familiar w/ squats (get a TON of stares doing those, too) & shoulder presses (no attention there.) Actually, yesterday, I did Arnold Presses for the 1st time, too. It was neat! =)

Anyway. I think I wanna start doing a 3 day split around my teaching days. Perhaps:

1.) LEGS - Squats, Lunges, Calf-Raise Machine, & maybe some of the 3 machines (Leg Press, Leg Extension, & Leg Curl)

2.) BACK & BICEPS - Deadlifts, Rows, Shrugs, Curls, Hammer Curls, & Reverse Curls

3.) SHOULDERS, CHEST, & TRI’S - Side Lateral Raises, Front Lateral Raises, Shoulder Presses, Arnold Presses, Standing Flys, & Overhead Extensions.

Same basic: 3 sets for 8-20 reps; depending on what it is, of course, keeping intensity high, & keeping rests short enough to catch my breath & keep on truckin’. /m\ I’ll probably keep my cardio the same; definately not more, as I’ll be doing cardio up the ass…all of the dancing-type ish that I’m gunna have to do for my classes. But I’ll probably incorporate more L.I.S.S. & less H.I.I.T., & I’m confident this may help me break through my plateau. ‘Cause I’m definately not letting this opportunity pass by, by chosing to just maintain & just eat more. Fck that. THIS LAST FAT NEEDS TO LEAVE ALREADY.

As for my weekly schedule, it’s gunna all depend on when I’m teaching. & I have a feeling that for the 1st little while, I’m also gunna be randomly subbing. Maybe that’s all I’ll even be doing. =S So, I’ll probably have to fit in day #1 here, day #2 there, & day #3 over there; y’know what I mean? Ah, well. What can ya do.

Anyway. Yesterday & today @ the gym were, once again, both sweat-fests. Fckin’ rights! This water is commin’ off quite nicely, if I do say so myself. =) But I’m just curious to know how it would’ve been if I didn’t have all of this excess skin. Ah, well. I was feeling quite down about it a bit earlier on today; I never do. So, I’m not sure what was wrong. Meh.

Hallelujah! I’m no longer backed up! I was pleasantly surprised after I woke up this morning. I literally rejoiced in the bathroom & then again after my workout. LOL. Okay…I know this is SUCH a taboo topic, especially since I’m a female. But fck it. =P

Also, it was my 2nd REAL day back @ the gym today. Today, I did 30 mins on the treadmill & 30 mins on the elliptical & then did some lower body stuff. I couldn’t do much, though. ‘Cause my hip flexors are feeling tender for some strange reason. =S I think it’s ’cause I haven’t ran since 04/03, & then I ran yesterday for the 1st time since then & yea. =S I woke up & was like "…damn. No squats today?! FCK." So…yea. =( But I’m still glad that I ran yesterday & today. This water must be shed, god damn it!

Anyway. Tomorrow is upper body again. w00t! & then Tuesday I’ll most likely be helping teach a Group Fitness class @ my practicum lady’s other place that she teaches @, for t3h 1337 experience before I get evaluated. If not, it’ll be a lower body split day, once again. =)

Hmm…I’m still assuming that it’ll take ’til Saturday for all of this bloat & water retention to go away. (& then the sexy times will commense. It sounds immensely ridiculous, I know. But it’s virtually impossible for me, personally, to feel good about myself when nothing fits, when you look in the mirror, 1 of those puffed out fish is looking back @ you, & you can’t see any of your definition whatsoever that you’re continously working hard on to achieve.) Yet again, when I left the gym today, my workout top & pants were SOAKED, in sweat. I fckin’ LOVE that shit! =) It’s definately the extra "weight" from the bloat + water & also the water escaping. That’s exactly what I’m after. SUCCESSSSS!!! So, w/ the combination of … fecal excretion + sweat, my abdominal region has started subsiding/is starting to not stick out as far, & my workout pants are starting to get less tight/are getting a bit looser again. PRAISE BE FCKIN’ JEBUS!

Hmm…yea. I’m hoping that this emotional eating thing stops once & for all…eventually. I’m 23 now, & it’s starting to feel ridiculous & unnecessary. I don’t get stressed out about much very often, which is great. But when I do, I just resort to the same ol’ stuff, again. However, it’s important to note that most of the time, I don’t go completely off the deep end. I "binge" on healthy foods. But a calorie is still a calorie & can set you back/stall your progress. I’d list what I ate. (I keep a food journal but have yet to start counting calories/macros.) But most of you’d just laugh. It’s all healthy, & the portions aren’t a lot for most of you. But I’m a female w/ a very low L.B.M. or whatever the correct acronym is. & that’s 1 of the exact reasons why I lift: to dramatically increase my L.B.M., so when I do binge, the results will be less devastating. But I’d honestly prefer just get over the emotional eating thing. *sigh*

Lastly, tonight, I’m meeting up w/ my faaaavourite trance "besties" (friends) to go to a locals night (trance D.J.s in Vancouver) to show my support & trance prance dance around for the night; I almost enjoy this more than fitness. … almost. =P Hmm…I’m assuming that guy (see previous blog entry) will be there. But he’s scrawny as fck & wouldn’t be even able to trip me. Hmm…I’ve noticed that he seems to be 1 of those "internet tough guys but lacks real-life confidence" kind-of-guy, w/ a tra(n)ce of annoying white-knight fail(flail)’ery. & I swear to god, if we didn’t have mutual friends, I would have no reason to keep myself exposed to such garbage. I’m finding it so frusterating ’cause it’s completely uncalled for. I’m the nicest & sweetest mofo’er you’ll ever meet. (However, I have a feeling some of the garbage stems from an early failed attempt @ picking me up. lol.) However, I’m not 1 of those nice girl, types who thinks that they deserve this treatment. My dad was quite firm on raising me to not tolerate any of this kinda garbage. & I haven’t so far in my life, except w/ him. (The things I do for trance…Seriously.) & It’s so upsetting, ’cause NO ONE treats me like garbage, NO ONE, as everyone I’ve met, thus far in my life, responds well to my nice’ness & is nice in return. =P So, this is new to me. I’m not uncomfortable w/ pple hating me. Pple have hated me in the past. But they haven’t constantly reminded me of it. They’ve just kept their distance & let me be. But ugh…not going to trance club nights is a dumb option & an unnecessary one @ that, ’cause he doesn’t go to much anymore. But still. The scene is quite small. Anyway. His garbage has been helping me fuel my workouts yesterday & today. If only he knew… HAH. & meh…It’s gunna be fun, tonight w/ my amigooOoOs! I can’t wait! =) TRANCE TRANCE TRANCE. =O

P.S.: My apologies for the non-fitness part @ the end. This is the only blog I use. =/