top_5_percent’s BodyBlog

Everything has been extremely off track and I mean everything. I prob couldn’t of made it any worse if I tried. I feel absolutely disgusting and have had a constant headache for like the past 4 days. I’m pretty sure its from all the sh*t I have been eating. And I have barely been able to move. Seriously, like it was an effort getting out of bed to the computer. I had to go back any lay down, too exhausting. Hopefully, I have taught myself a lesson. I can’t imagine putting my body through everything that I have been putting it through tomorrow. I wonder why do I put myself through this. I hope I wake up feeling better tomorrow. I just feel like I want to get all the poison out of my body. Cos I def do feel poisened. I haven’t felt so bad in a long long time.

 I tried to go for a run today but it was like it wasn’t even natural for my body to move. So nope it wasn’t the best workout and I can’t even remember the last time I had a great weights workout. I REALLY MISS treating my body right and feeling good. Like really really really miss it.

I went on my fasted walk thismorning. It was actually a really beautiful day so I enjoyed it I guess. Leg day today. Not a good workout at all. Just in a really bad mood and mosquitos were biting me. I don’t know why I couldn’t pump myself up for a good session but I just couldn’t. Biceps and shoulders tomorrow which I EXTREMELY hate. I really hope I can have a good workout.

Diet has been good today. Stayed on track. I put dishwashing liquid in the icecream and threw it in the bin today haha. My poor dad, he buys it for himself and I either eat it or throw it out, but I figured better in the bin than in my tummy. My stomach was huge today and I looked hidious and I have no clothes and I am poor. Yep, in a really bad mood too. AND my dog has to go to the vets tomorrow and I really think she might have to be put down. She is about 12 years old I will miss my baby so much. I know its going to be a struggle for me to keep my diet together if we do need to put her down cos when I’m sad I tend to want to eat everything in sight.

But on the bright side, its the first day of the month today and I guess its kind of a fresh start. God, I can’t believe its August! That’s terrible. Well hopefully I won’t let another month slide by without seeing some serious results

wow fighting off the food cravings big time tonight! I feel like jumping in my car and going to the supermarket and buying donuts, tim tams, mint biscuits, ice cream. God even writing that is making my mouth water. I can’t wait until I can go to sleep. Some nights can be so hard!

 Got up at 6:30 thismorning to do may fasted walk That is pretty amazing for me to get up that early. Not a morning person at all. Basically I am doing the walking just to take a break from all the stress of running on cement that I have put my body through. I have sore hips and knees. So going with the low impact stuff. Also did a spin class today which was fun. I love the trainer and they had awesome music!

 Diet has been really really good today and yesterday. I am scared if I leave my room now that I will go and binge on my much loved muesli and bread haha so not game to leave yet. I am trying to occupy myself blogging and reading over past blogs where I have talked about how terrible i feel from binge eating.

In such a terrible mood. I’m pretty sure anyone who speaks to me now would get yelled out… I seriously feel like I have terets sometimes, when it comes to my family anyway. I’m always nice to my friends and strangers

 God I have so much work to do for school. I feel so behind but I really REALLY don’t want to do it tonight. I just feel lost. At least the weekend is coming up and hopefully I can cheer up and get some work done.

Training legs tomorrow which I am looking forward to and I have my fasted walk! I am excited.

Things haven’t been going too well. I have barely been sleeping, as in I have slept about 4 hours total in 3 nights and 3 of those hours would of been last night. I am a walking zombie. I went for a run yesterday and after running for like 20 minutes I was seriously considering calling someone to pick me up. I was frightened that if  I sat down I would fall asleep and it was getting dark and cold. Anyway went for a run today too after hyping myself up with coffee and ridiculous amounts of food. I can’t wait to sleep in tomorrow. I hope I can sleep in anyway.

 Tomorrow is my bicep/shoulder day but I’m pretty sure I will do legs or chest and tri’s. I just need to hit the bigger muscles cos I missed a few workouts. My tummy is def showing me that my diet has been terrible. Don’t even want to look in the mirror or been in public and on top of all this I lost my voice. So not in the best of moods but excited about training tomorrow and sleeping in and getting my diet right. It’s not worth what I have done to myself the past couple of days. I think I realise that eating and drinking are over rated. Sleeping def isn’t though.

Things are going EXTREMELY well. Best they have ever been in terms on my health and fitness. Diet has been perfect. I’m not even craving the carbs like I used to and haven’t binged in almost a week. (that is good for me) I found out that if I weight train in the morning and then do cardio at night it works out better for me. If I swap it around it just makes me want spend all day eating and skip the weights at night.

 I am doing the Meltdown Challenge of Ms Fits so I actually feel accountable. God the before photos are so hidious though. haha oh well, can only get better. Can notice a difference already. My stomach is flatter and my clothes are looser. I know alot of it is just bloat but I really feel like I’m on my way. Training has been pretty good. Did legs today. I actually really enjoyed it. I really want a barbell though. I hate squats with DB’s. Just not the same. 

 I have been spending some time cooking which is so unlike me.I actually realised that I enjoy it haha. I also realised that alot of things are high in salt. In terms of sauces and stuff. So it has just made me more aware. I cooked vegetable soup today. Looks yummy. I am cooking dinner tonight too.

 It’s winter here. I hate winter so much. I am sick of being cold. It’s a beautful sunny day though but just cold cold cold!

It’s coming up my 4th week that I haven’t drank alcohol nor had a smoke! I don’t want to do that stuff anymore. It’s just not fun anymore and I am sick of being held back by that cr*p.

Training is going well. Diet is bloody terrible as usual. I take 1 step forward and 20 backwards. Sugar makes me feel sick with a headache, carbs make me bloated and feel like I am going to burst. I don’t know why I keep eating massive quantities of them. When I keep my diet good I can seriously see results after about 2 days then when I stuff it up, im up like a blimp again. Oh well. One day I will get it right. Ok, so 21 days to make things a habit, problem is I have difficulty going 3 days without completely stuffing things up.

 I don’t have a problem with the training at all. I look forward to it everyday and do a damn good job of it. I LOVE IT. Well I love it when I’m finished it haha. But the diet, omg, talk about a stuggle. Hopefully one day I can write in my blog saying how smoothly everything is going. Diets perfect, trainings perfect, life is perfect. Hmmmmm dreaming. Well every single day I will blog. Even if its a "I kept my diet on track day 1" That means I am accountable. That will be starting tomorrow as I have been eating like a wild pig today. Yuck, feel gross. But I am training legs soons. It’s actually my favourite training day now. Who would of thought. I actually most of the time used to skip leg days because they were just the worst thing imaginable. Now I LOVE THEM. yay yay yay. I will take progress photos soon. I will take them a week today. That will give me time to get my massive tummy unbloated from the enormous amounts of junk I have been eating

Well I have 3 weeks of work and study which I actually wish I didn’t. It feels like there are too many hours in the day. I get so bored. All I can think about is food and how hungry I am even though I just ate. Think its physcological. I especially love eating when I’m bored which for the past week I HAVE BEEN SO SO SO BORED. Today I caved which I feel terrible about. I ate half a box of crackers with light cream cheese and sweet chilli sauce. Why do I do this to myself? My diet that I am trying to stick to at the moment is pretty low carb for me. Basically the only carbs I eat are some oats in the morning and veggies throughout the day. IT’S so hard. I think its just become such a habit of mine to binge on bread and muesli. Habits are hard to break but back on track tomoz I guess and it could of been worse. I just hope that I have more energy tomorrow.

 I trained legs 2 days ago and they are still really sore. I did a big run yesterday which prob didn’t help them recover and also did a big run today. It was terrible today though, just really uncomfortable. Anyway its my day off cardio tomorrow and I’m training chest and triceps.

I have had a brilliant day today. Couldn’t have been much better in regards to what I achieved. OK, so I am doing work experience at the moment, still got another full week left of it and they offered me work after It’s great because its so close to home and pretty good money as well as related to my studies… so that’s good and unexpected I really didn’t think they liked me much.

I have had no smokes (day 4) Yesterday was so difficult.

Just finished a hardcore bicep and shoulder workout

Did a 5.5k run

HAD a perfect diet (the most difficult thing for me)

AND I have a sore butt and legs from yesterdays workout Always a good feeling considering I usually am so slack with my leg workouts. I loathe them!

I don’t know why I don’t have days like this everyday.  It means I go to sleep happy instead of disgusted, repulsed and angry with myself. Well fingers crossed this will continue. Anyway I am off to have a spa bath. Then an early start tomorrow. hmmmmmm

Had my firrst day of work today. I was pretty nervous and felt very lost. It is like a MASSIVE mansion that all looks completely the same to me. I can’t remember any of the patients names or even the staff who were helping me. I barely slept last night. I get pretty bad anxiety, hopefully I can get some sleep tonight as I have a 6:30am start tomorrow. Hopefully it will be more hands on tomorrow. I spent most of the day watching and missed lunch. Didn’t binge eat today though because I didn’t have time which is a plus.

Did a spin class today. It was terrible just wasn’t in the mood but at least I turned up lol. Really would like to hit the weights tonight. hmmmm so so so tired, should I bother? If I do them I will need a big coffee then I wont be able to sleep. VISCIOUS CYCLE! But if I don’t do them, when will i do them……… I hate making decisions! Promised my friend that I would do a step class with her tomorrow. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 

Finally had a good bicep / shoulder workout. It has been a while and I have a sad truth to admitt. I am not able to lift as heavy as I could before. I knew it in the back of my mind but it is confirmed now. I guess I missed having a hardcore workout for about a month! Did do some Body Pump classes in between this time but thats it. That is SO SO SO upsetting. Guess I took it for granted. Well I guess its just a bit of a kick in my fat butt. I realised during my session today how much I have missed it. So full steam ahead for me and getting this body to be that best that it can….. never ending battle really. We can always improve

 Anyway today was one of my last days of this course I am studying and I am a bit sad actually. I will miss my teachers they are so awesome. I can’t believe how rude some of the students were to the teachers. I used to just sit there gobsmacked that they could be so disrespectful, like they are going to be nurses, thought we were meant to be empathetic and caring, apparantly not. So i wrote my teachers some really nice cards that they will appreciate. I believe it is the 5th of June that I find out if I have been accepted into my next course to continue studying. I am hoping and preying. I hate not knowing. Anyway we are having a graduation party tomorrow night at one of the girls houses. Very excited. I am def not drinking much though. Don’t really feel like being passed out in the garden somewhere. Plus, they put a 70% tax on premixed drinks! I cant believe it.

Well diet has been good today and feeling very happy