tolewfo’s Bodyblog of Change

So I have been a total gym rat since February of 2007, I have been busting my ass hard and have lost a lot of weight.  I have had my moments of hitting the wall and struggling to break through it.  It seems that for the past 3 months the wall I am hitting is much bigger and harder to get through.  I haven’t lost any weight.  I have been going up and down gaining as much as 10 lbs. but quickly losing it again.  I have gotten down to as low as 218 lbs. but I am now hovering between 225 and 230.  My diet has been relatively clean but I will fall into temptation and eat like shit.  I tend to really feel depressed when I do this and beat myself up about it.  I also punish myself at these times by restricting myself to lower calories or skipping meals altogether.  I know this is bad and I tell myself to just start over again.  I have a great trainer and he is a wealth of knowledge. He is able to explain to me the science behind supplements and nutrition.  He is degreed in it and it seems to be his passion.  But, I digress… I want a flat stomach and I feel that at my age it will never happen.  I’m not really looking for encouragement or kudos but someplace to be able to vent and report on my progress.  I love this board and will be here everyday.