TIMDULL2’s BodyBlog of Doom!

Well, here I am again. I haven’t posted in a while so I decided to go ahead and write something interesting for y’all to read.  This time around, I’m not focusing so much on motivations or observations, but on people I see on the ol’ boob-tube that I find to be just amazing.  I’ll go ahead and be a bit lame and call these folks my heroes.  To qualify to be my hero, there’s pretty much only one generally difficult standard to meet - you have to be someone I’d like to sit down and have lunch with sometime.  And those folks are:

 Duane Chapman - aka Dog the Bounty Hunter.  Cult hero?  Perhaps.  Outstanding personality?  Definitely!!  Dog does for Hawaii what I only see Batman doing in the movies.  He goes out and kicks criminal butt on a daily basis.  But that’s only the half of it. Dog has such an air of forgiveness to him that he actually sits down with most people you see him with and talks to them about why they are making bad choices in life.  In one moment, you see Dog yelling “GET DOWN MUTHER F*CKER!!”.  In the next, they’re in the back of the car talking about forgiveness and changing for the better.  Most people that I’ve seen him and his crew beat the crap out of are later in tears and so thankful for what just happened to them.  I just can’t get over this guy.  I mean, c’mon. The man goes by DOG!!  If you haven’t seen the show, I highly recommend it.  It usually aires on A&E on Tuesday nights.  Check it out.  If it doesn’t help to restore your faith in humanity, then you have the right to kick my ass and hope that I ask for forgiveness.

Bear Grylls - Man Vs. Wild -Discovery Channel.  Ok.  He’s an ex-British army dude.  He’s scaled Everest.  He’s parachuted into Africa and broken his back in 3 places and went back to do it again.  He’s crossed the arctic.  He’s drunken water from elephant dung.  His name is BEAR!!!  This guy just all out rocks.  The show, Man vs. Wild, is on Friday nights at 9:00.  The concept?  He gets dropped off in the middle of the Serengheti, Moab, the Alps, a Costa Rican rainforest, a desert island, and all other ungodly parts of the world and shows you how to not only survive, but get out and find humanity in one piece.  The equipment - usually no more than a knife and a canteen and a flint, sometimes less.  I’ve seen the man jump into a frozen lake, quicksand, raging rapids, and float a make-shift raft out to sea only to be surrounded by tiger sharks.  Why?  To show you (us) how to get out alive.  This guy really pumps me up.  If you don’t learn something from watching this guy, then piss off - you’re an idiot.

Phil Pfister - 2006 World’s Strongest Man.  Dude, thanks for taking it back home to the good ol’ USA!!  Not since 1982 has the world’s strongest man been from America.  Jesse Marunde came close last year, but was beaten out by the massive Marius Pud..Pudjan…however you spell his name.  But I gotta give major props to Phil.  He’s no spring chicken, and he’s never been better than 4th place.  But this year, he whooped the pants off the competition, edging out mighty Marius by only half a point.  It all comes down to the atlas stones, as they say every time.  This time, it really did.  Big congrats to Phil, Jesse, and the rest of the Americans still competing each year.  Here’s to 2007 and continued success in the WSM Competition!!

 I guess that’s about all I can think of for now.  Except for one more person…

 Tim Dull (the first) - Yep, that’s my dad.  He turned 50 this past year, but nobody seems to believe it.  With just a touch of grey on the sideburns, he’s my dad.  After graduating high school, he was drafted to play in the minors for the Cincinatti Reds.  He waited another year to go just for my mom to graduate high school.  He pitched for about 2 years, then his arm gave out, so he headed back home to start life with my mom.  He’s worked at a power plant for longer than I’ve been alive.  In fact, he now has a job pretty much like Homer Simpson - gets to sit and watch screens and dials all day long.  Way back in my early days, I watched him blow his knee out in a basketball game.  This February, he’s having it completely replaced and will be laid up for several months. But do you think that’d keep him down?  Not even if I sat on him would that keep him from getting up to shovel snow, cut the grass, or do whatever tasks around the house he has his mind set on.  Dad’s always been there for me, even when I didn’t realize it.  He’s been on my ass forever to lose weight cause I’ve always been on the chunky side.  Now that I’ve joined a gym and am making changes, he’s got my back 100%.  Thanks Dad for being my #1 inspiration - you’re my hero! 

 Alright, enough sappy.  That’s all for now.  Later!

Well, I’ve had some time since I posted the last round of crazy-ass people I see in the gym.  I think it’s time for me to go about doing some more.  Remember, I’m making generalizations here, but these folks are based on real people that I see in the gym everyday.  This isn’t meant to be funny, but if you laugh, good fer ya!

 The Lady’s Man:
-This dude comes in about mid-day, maybe twice a week.  He takes about 20 minutes to get his stuff out of his gym bag and decide to leave the room.  Once out there, he stops back in the locker room every 10 minutes or so to make sure his perfectly slicked-back hair is still perfectly slicked-back.  He’s tan, even in the winter months, and isn’t that nice "tanned" color, but more of a consistent red.  He comes in, works one set on a machine with moderate weights for his build, leaves the area to do something or other (most likely re-comb his hair) and comes back to do another exercise.  Without rhyme nor reason, he’s there.  There’s no chicks to pick up, but maybe he just feels better working out through gym-osmosis.

The Total Ass:
-Just met this guy today.  I get in and nearly every dumbell between 15lbs and 60lbs is out of order, half on the floor in clumps, and not even put back with its pair.  There’s weights still on the Smith Machine (though not many), there’s a preacher bar on the ground in the back with weights on it (still not that many), and he’s not even in the same room using the equipment.  Yeah, you don’t know for 100% sure it’s him, but you can tell because he’s the only one around.  He uses the dumbell rack for support instead of a bench.  He drags a bookbag full of whatever around to each station with him (just in case he needs to stay a while and read some more of Arnold’s Encyclopedia of Modern Bodybuilding or something).  Just before he heads out for the day, he spills half of his Gatorade bottle of water in the middle of the floor on a rubber pad and leaves it there.  Oh, he doesn’t walk out in shame, just goes out of the room, backpack in hand, to do 2 more stations and then disappear.  Total ******* Defined.

The Too-Much-Cardio 60-year-old Woman:
-She’s a classic.  In shape?  Yes.  Toned for her age?  Yes.  On the treadmill for 45 minutes, then the steppers for another 45, then go to an aerobics class?  You bet!!  I think there’s a point where you need to have a little bodyfat, especially at her age!  You get an A for effort, but a D for overworking and trying to live forever!!

Creepy Old Yoga Guy:
-He’s nice enough, but kinda strange.  You wouldn’t picture a short guy with a beer gut going to Yoga so regularly.  Perhaps he likes to see the women his age in spandex.  Or perhaps he’s one of those lonely fella’s who’s looking to get the spine just flexible enough so he can "service" himself.  I don’t know, but nice dedication!  This Bud’s for you!

Titty Kid:
-Now this one’s a bit touchy.  He looks like a nice enough kid, but I just have to make the observation here.  He comes in, does about 20 minutes of moderate lifting (usually chest or shoulder work, nothing else), then hits the stepper for a while.  Nothing unusual there, but dude man’s a bit big.  Kudos for trying to drop the weight, but what he doesn’t realize is that his man boobs are a-bouncin’ with every step he takes!  Again, A for effort, though.

Alright, that’s almost it for now.  But, I do have to mention this funny little incident the other day.  In the last post I made like this, i described the "Bench Guy" - the guy who comes in only to bench a ton with no spotter and then leave.  He never does anything else, just benches.  Well, now we have 2 of them.  Mr. "The Rock is my Hero" shirt guy, and another older fellow with big glasses and a beard.  The other day, these 2 characters met, and the hilarity that ensued was a site that only my sick, twisted sense of humor would enjoy.  It was funny to see them match eachother bench for bench, until "The Rock" had to ask the other guy for help.  Now Mr. Beard-o probably couldn’t spot ya if he tried, but he did it anyway and provided little to no help.  He couldn’t yank up the weight the other guy was pressing to save his life, but I’d give him a B+ just for being there.  But it was hilarious to watch both of them unknowingly match plates, pound for pound, rep for rep, without even looking at eachother!  I don’t know the final score because after being there for 45 minutes doing my own thing, I left probably well before these two leviathons were finished. 

 All I can say is that some folks are really funny.  It doesn’t break too much concentration to notice these folks in your own gym.  Even if you’re one of these people, look around.  There may be some other schmuck who’s watching you and thinking about writing a blog of their very own! 

Happy Lifting, kiddies!!

Alright, so I had to sit down and write this one out. 

 Recently, I’ve been a bit more active on the forums and keeping up with my BodySpace.  I’m on my second product trial for Syntrax’s FYRE and have been checking back on it alot more than my last trial for MAN’s Clout.  I’ve also interacted with a few more folks out there and it’s led me to writing this out.

 I want to say to everyone out there:  Thank you!!!  It is all of those other people who have commented on my profile, added things to my forum threads, and visited and dropped me a line that I want to extend the biggest thanks.  What for???  The single biggest thing I need to get big, ripped, cut, lean, huge, massive, whatever!!  MOTIVATION!!!

 I’m no bodybuilder by any means.  I really don’t even think of myself as one of the "big guys".  Everyone I meet seems to tell me that I’m big, but I know what I really am, what I look like nude, and how I feel every day.  I know that for my own peace of mind, I go to the gym.  It isn’t because I have to, but because I want to.  And in order to get my lazy fat ass to the gym everyday, I need to be motivated, not obligated.

 Recently, folks have been complimenting me on my size.  Whether or not it is genuine or folks really seem to think I’m big, I don’t know and I don’t care.  I appreciate every single word of it!  I checked my postings the other day and realized that the owner of Syntrax said I was a beast!  I just had a guy with 22" arms say he was impressed with my deadlift!  I had some guy who’s got BIGG in his screen name tell me I’m a monster and that he knows where to turn when he needs someone to get his back!  I mean, c’mon people!  That’s awesome!  I’ve even had some new person take a look at my program and ask me to give an opinion on their own.  Definitely cool.

I really don’t know any of these people.  There’s not one person on this entire site that I’ve ever met in person, let alone talked to on the phone or anything else.  Yet perfect strangers are complimenting me?  That’s just great!! 

 I really can’t explain how I feel other than blurting out "Thank You" about a thousand times.  It’s those people out there in this community that look at folks like me and see the positive things.  I’ve never posted pics with my "dunlap" belly, or my "un-love handles" because I’m embarassed of them.  Hell, even if I did, I don’t think anyone would slam me for them! 

I found out long ago that going to the gym for the first time and being worried that you’ll be picked on for being the most out-of-shape bastard was a very very unwarranted issue.  The first time I walked in, people said hello and went about their business.  Even when joining a new gym here at home, nobody ever looks at me funny.  Sure, I’m the biggest guy there - I usually am wherever I may roam.  But I’m not the strongest, not the most cut, and probably the one guy who’s furthest from winning any sort of competition.  But even at my current gym, people are willing to help if I need it.  They’re there for a spot, there to unload the plates from the bar when I’ve just buried my legs in the floor from deadlifting.  They’re there.  And just like them, you’re here. 

If you’re reading this, then you’ve probably seen my profile or read one of my forum posts.  Thank you.  Thank you to those who see me and go "DAMN".  Most often, I’m looking right back at you and saying the same thing.  I respect every single person I’ve come in contact with here.  I respect and I idolize you.  I want to be like you in the worst way.  I want to have a good body, be strong, and know what it is that I’m doing.  I want to be healthy.  I want to be the beast of a man that everyone is saying I am.  I want to do this not just for me, not just for my family, but for everyone else that is doing the exact same thing that I am. 

And in the end, it won’t be any of you who are disappointed if I cheat, fail, or give up.  It will be me.  I will be the one who suffers.  But it WILL be you who push me to give up fast food for good, lift till my bones shatter, and crawl away from that locker room dripping every last bit of sweat I can. 

So to all, I say again, and I’ll say many more times to come, thank you for all of your compliments, well-wishes, and for just popping by to say hi.  The only thing left for me to say is this:

If you think I’m big now, just wait…

Well, I posted this workout on my BodySpace a few days ago.  I gave it a try for one day, and ended up realizing that it may be too much for right now.  I’m going to gear something else more towards cutting (high reps, etc.), but I wanted to save this one for comments and so I can access it later on.  Here goes:

 New workout to begin in November 2006.  Goal is to cut using supersets and even death sets on concentration exercises, while adding mass and strength on the bigger compound movements.  It’s a work in progress, so some things might change as I go along.  Here’s the plan:

Shoulder Day with biceps:

Military press - 50%x10, 75%x8, 100%x6
DB Curls - 40×12, 50×10, 60×8 - 40, 30, 20 to failure
Lateral Flies - 25×12, 30×10, 35×10
*Incline DB Hammer Curls - 30×10, 35×10, 40×10
—- Incline Mil. Press - 30×15, 35×15, 40×12
DB Preacher Curls - 30×12, 40×10, 50×8 - 30, 25 to failure
DB Raises - 25×12, 30×12, 35×10

Back Day:

**Deadlifts - 50%x8, 75%x6, 100%x4
**Smith Shrug - 50%x12, 75%x10, 100%x10
Wide Lat PD’s - 170×10, 180×10, 190×10
Close Grip Rows - 250×10, 290×10, 320×8
Close Grip Lat PD’s - 180×10, 190×8, 200×6
B/O DB Rows - 60×10, 80×10, 100×10

Chest Day:

Flat Bench - 50%x10, 75%x8, 100%x6 - 75% partials to fail
Incline DB Bench - 50×12, 50×12, 60×10
Flat DB Flies - 30×10, 30×10, 30×10
Close-grip Bench - 50%x10, 75%x8, 100%x6
Decline Cable X - 25×10, 25×10, 30×10

Leg Day with triceps:

***Squat - 50%x10, 75%x8, 100%x6
—-DB Pullover - 70×10, 70×10, 80×8
***Leg Press - 50%x10, 75%x8, 100%x6
Overhead DB Press - 70×10, 80×10, 90×10
Leg Curls - 50%x10, 75%x8, 100%x6
Kickbacks - 25×10, 30×8, 35×6
DB Lunges - 80×10, 90×10, 100×10
**V-bar pushdowns - 70×10, 80×10, 90×10
**Underhand 1-arm cable pd’s - 30×10, 35×8 - 25, 20 to fail
*Superset
**Alternate weeks
***Alternate weeks, superset one week, single set next

A note on rest periods:
-I will be resting about 2-3 minutes between sets on compound exercises, 1-2 minutes on concentration exercises.

A note on the biggies:
-For squats, shrugs, and benches, I use a Smith machine.  I know, I know…cuts out some stabilizers.  But until I don’t always have a spotter handy and this is the safest way I can do them.  Better safe than sorry…

Not all exercises may be done one a particular day.  I will do as much as I can until I’m completely exhausted.  This program is more of a new "grouping" of exercises that I’m going to try.  Things may change, forcibly, if there are too many people in the gym and I have to wait for more than a few minutes to get a piece of equipment.

That’s all!  Any comments, let me know.  Any suggestions, likewise.  Best of luck to all…especially to me!!

Hello all.

 Thought I might post my previous work-out routine here so that I have it saved somewhere.  I used this workout throughout much of this summer (2006) and it seemed to do some good for me.  I did vary a bit on different days just to spice things up, but I kept the basics there for the majority of it.  I’ll be changing it up in the fall to do a bit more supersets, death sets, and more things to cut.  After the new year, if I reach my weight goals, I’m going full-blown powerlifting - concentrating on the big 3:  Squat, Deadlift, Bench.  I’ve never squatted before, but my legs are VERY strong.  If I can get the form down good without blowing something out, I should do well.  I think I have a good base so far, so going ‘power’ shouldn’t be that hard.  Wish me luck!! 

 **Note:  I workout after work M-F.  I sometimes take a day off in the middle, but only vary my schedule on the last Friday.  This is my 4-day routine - I’m currently hitting chest and bi’s twice a week because I feel they are my weakest part. The weights used are a baseline, some will move up or down depending on order of exercise, energy level, and if anything fails on me that day.**

Program as of 9-01-06

Day 1:  Chest and Bi’s
  Hammer Curls:  warm-up 30×15; 40×12, 50×10, 60×8
  Bench:  warm-up 95×15; 155×12, 185×10, 215×8 - 135x"21s"
  BB Curls:  65×12, 75×10, 85×8
  Incline Bench:  115×12, 135×10, 155×8
  Preacher Curls:  75×12, 95×10, 105×8 - 75x "21s"
  Cable Flies:  50×12, 55×10, 60×8 - 40x failure
  Incline Curls:  30×12, 35×10, 40×8
 Cardio:  1 mile treadmill, 3.2mph, 1-5% grade

Day 2:  Back and Tri’s
  Overhead Extension:  40×12, 50×10, 60×8
  Wide-g Lat PD:  Warm-up 120×15; 150×12, 170×10, 190×8
  Close-g Bench:  115×12, 135×10, 145×8
  Close-g Lat PD:  160×12, 180×10, 200×8
  Kick-backs:  20×12, 25×10, 30×8
  Seated Rows:  150×12, 200×10, 250×8
  V-bar PD’s:  40×12, 60×10, 70×8 - 40x failure
  B-O BB Rows:  60×12, 70×10, 80×8
  Cable PD’s (indiv arms):  25×12, 27.5×10, 30×8 - 20xfail
 Cardio:  1 mile treadmill, 3.2mph, 1-5% grade

Day 3:  Deadlift Day
  Warm-up Lunges:  50×12, 80×10, 110×8
  Warm-up Sets:  135×10, 225×10
  Working Sets:  315×8, 405×5, 455×3, 505×1-2

Day 4:  Shoulders and Lats
  Front DB Raises:  20×12, 25×10, 30×8
  BB Press:  Warm-up 65×15; 85×12, 105×10, 135×8
  Side DB Flies:  25×12, 30×10, 35×8
  Shrugs:  225×12, 335×10, 405×10, 455×8 w/ neg holds
  Cable X:  40×12, 50×10, 60×8
 Cardio:  1 mile treadmill, 3.2mph, 1-5% grade

Day 5:  Repeat Day 1 if Friday.  Off day if 4-day week.

Day 6, 7:  Rest (Saturday, Sunday)

Howdy! 

I’m currently testing out MAN’s Clout product.  My test log can be found under the supplement log section of the forum.  I promised to keep a log of my diet (as best I can) in the blog for anyone to view. 

Today, Monday October 2nd, I began my test.  And here’s all the yummy details of what I choked down today:

8am:  2 hard-boiled eggs, 1 wheat bagel with margarine
10am:  1/2 cup raw peanuts, 1 banana
12pm:  8 oz. London Broil (steak), 1 cup whole-grain rice
2pm:  1/2 cup baby carrots, 2 hard-boiled eggs
6pm:  ON Whey protein shake in ~10oz. 2% milk
8pm:  12oz baked chicken breast, cut up on salad including 2 cups leaf lettuce, 1/2 cup celery, 1/4 cup fat-free croutons, 3tbs. ranch dressing.

 Mmmm..tasty?  I dunno.  It’s just food.

 I’m out.

The gym I go to isn’t necessarily the biggest, best, or newest.  But it really seems to do the trick. They have almost everything I want - machines, cables, lots of dumbells, benches, cages, smiths, cardio, and even some Yoga classes should I get so inclined to stretch out something.  But by far the most entertaining thing that I see are the people at the gym.  Mind you, I don’t spend my time there looking at people - I’m there to work and get out so I can finally go home for the day.  But sometimes, when you look up from some excruciating last rep, you see the weirdest looking goofballs!  I’m heard and read about many of these folks being stereotyped, but never really took the time to look and classify on my own.  Well, here I am…doing just that.  Let me tell you about who’s at my gym:

 The Bench Press Guy:  We all know him.  He comes in once a month, pops out some decently amazing presses, takes forever between sets, and doesn’t do anything else.  I met a great one yesterday.  He was wearing his "The Rock" shirt - complete with cut-off sleeves.  When I got in there, he already had 3 plates on each side and an extra 25 on top of that.  He’d sit, stare a while, then go down and do it.  Sure, his arms looked pretty big - especially his tri’s.  But, his chest was pretty tiny for someone who was pushing that kind of weight.  To boot, he had his hat with him, on another bench, with his can of Copenhagen inside next to his cell phone and a styrofoam coffee cup that he sipped every once in a while.  And yes, he even ANSWERED HIS DAMN PHONE in the middle of the gym!  I was too busy to hear the conversation, and the metal from my mp3 player was covering it up anyway.  After moving from the flat bench, he proceeds to the Smith machine to do some inclines.  He was there for about 20 minutes, which, after the first 2 minutes, was annoying because that’s where I was headed next!!  Oh, well.  Silly bench guy…

 The Ambiguously Gay Duo:  Nothing against gay folks at all, but these two show up every other week to do some, you guessed it, bench presses!  They take turns, spotting eachother, switching plates, etc..  But they go so slow, and most of the time is just them talking to eachother and hanging out!  Oy…  Get to work or go home.

 Suave Supplement Man:  He’s the guy with slicked hair, clothes that always look new, every glove, strap, belt permanently attached, and always with sippy bottle full of "something usefull" permanently in his hand.  He comes in, takes about 3 hours to do some workout that includes EVERY SINGLE BODYPART - as long as someone is watching him do it.  He’ll do about 6 reps, maybe 2 sets (if we’re blessed that day) and call it quits on that one.  He’s the guy who sets his HUGE gym bag out on the locker room bench for all to see that it’s mostly stuffed full of GNC brand supplements.  Yup…you’re a winner for sure!  And he’s not afraid to tell you what he’s taking.  Um…I can tell ya….  ALL THE WRONG SHIT!!  Scariest of all?  He’s the one guy in the locker who’s not bashful about gettin necked right next to ya.  Most folks have some amount of decency.  Luckily, my radar lets me know when a schlong is one the loose and to avert my eyes.  What a dork…  And did I mention the "Mrs. Crabtree"-style black frame glasses?  HA!

 Workout Granny:  Big props to old folks who hit the gym.  I’m glad to see they’re striving to live longer, be better, and stay healthier so their kids don’t have to wipe their shit of their asses until the very end.  But this one’s a classic.  She uses just about every machine, well enough atleast.  She’ll be the only one to use the 2.5lb plates, too.  Kudos for givin it your all.  But here’s the thing…flash her an eye and she’ll yap your ear off for an hour!  I had the misfortune of sitting at the preacher bench next to her the other day.  I put my towel down on the pad so I didn’t sweat all over it.  I glanced her way and she mouthed something - which made me take my earphones out.  BIG MISTAKE!!  I was then treated to how she blew her knee doing squats, how I should be working legs while being careful, and this and that and the other thing.  C’mon, lady….can’t you see we’re working here???

My Hot Girlfriend Comes With Me Guy:  He’s a new one.   I think he’s in high school or just after, but he comes in and does his workout for a while.  Then about half-way through, his little hottie girlfriend comes in with him!  You can just see it in his face - "Welp, my workout’s done."  He stops, walks around and chats with her, and that’s about it.  She pulls him from the weights to the stepper machines to work with her.  Sure, she has a phenominal ass in those tight black DRESS PANTS SHE’S WORKING OUT IN, but is this really necessary?  I’d say about as usefull as the 4" gold hoops she had in yesterday during the workout.  Geesh…

And Finally…

Big Guy with Music Blasting in His Ears Who Talks to Nobody:  Yup, here’s my category.  It’s the one I fit into becuase it’s exactly me.  I get in, get it done, talk to nobody, and just listen to music the whole time.  But, I’m not the only one.  There’s one other guy who does it, and he’s the only other one in the gym who works about as hard as I do.  Granted, I’m not huge and he’s on the bigger side of stacked, but he’s been at it longer.  He’s a monster, for a smaller framed guy.  But, he has his mp3 on his arm, mine’s in the pocket.  We exchange nods and smile and that’s about it.  I like that guy.  He even helped me unload a bar after deadlifting once.  He just came over, showed up to help, and that was it!  And all the while, we didn’t talk - he had his music on and so did I.  Gotta love that shit…mutual respect. 

 Welp, I guess that’s about it for now.  I’ll post more oddballs when I come across them.  It’s always funny to watch others mess shit up.  But then again, I gotta keep an eye on my own prize! 

HA!!

Well, well, well…here we are.  My first Blog entry into my first blog.  Wow…  I should let anyone reading know that I can tend to get a bit wordy.  I’ve always been a good writer.  My favorite tests throughout high school and college were always essay tests.  The more I could write, the better.  I think it’s part of the reason I developed carpal tunnel syndrome.  But, that’s another story…

 I guess we all start in the beginning.  Why is it that we lift?  Why do we go into some sweaty room that smells like old iron and work our butts off for any given length of time each day?  What is it that makes any man or woman want to torture themselves - literally breaking down their body to force it to rebuild itself into a better-functioning, stronger, and harder machine?  That, my friends, is the first question that most people ask me. 

I don’t have that many friends anymore.  After high school, everyone left town.  After college, I came back to this little city (Johnstown, PA).  The only one that I have left is my best friend Phil.  He and I have strutted around together for better than 10 years.  I knew him longer than I can remember - literally.  The thing with Phil is that he’s not a very active person.  I’m no fireball either, but I do this little thing after work everyday called "hitting the gym" that he just can’t understand.  I pay "good money" (like there’s bad money?) to be allowed to enter this little place full of machines and iron and kill myself slowly.  He doesn’t get it.  He can’t figure out why I pay money to do something like this.  Then again, he’s on the fatter side of chunky, doesn’t do much other than work (telemarketeering), draw, watch movies, eat, draw, play games, eat, and occasionally sleep.  His idea of exercise is a bit of a walk around the neighborhood.  He wasn’t always so big, but he is pretty obese now.  I’m not one to talk - I have a decent size gut on me.  But again, that’s why I’m here…  Phil can’t understand why I do this, and that is probably what motivates me.  People don’t get it, but I think I do.

 I work out because it makes me happy.  I like to feel stronger and notice my body change from a rounded shape to one that’s harder, more edgy.  I like the feeling I get when I’ve pushed or pulled so hard I want to double-over and hurl my guts out onto the old carpeting in the weight room at my gym.  I like the feeling of walking down the center of the aisle at the grocery store and people move out of my way.  I like the stares I get from little girls when I walk by.  I like when toddlers point.  I like to be noticed, then fade back into the background.  I like walking into the private club I go to to drink and being referred to as "Big Guy", or "Big Man", or just that people out of the blue come up and say "DAMN, YOU’RE BIG!!!".  I like that.  I really enjoy it.  Really…

 But that’s all well and good when I’m in the outside world.  I am motivated to go back to the gym each day by those types of things.  Inside the gym is a whole ‘nother world.  I’m in my zone - my happy place - my place…  I have a ritual whenever I go in.  I sign in at the desk, making polite chit chat for about 30 seconds with the girl at the desk.  I walk into the locker room, picking the same locker each time.  I unload my gym bag and take off my shoes and pants, change into shorts and sneakers, and go take a pee.  I wash my hands, go back and grab my Sony Bean mp3, plug in the left ear, then the right.  I find the first song on my "Pumped" playlist and turn the volume up to about 3/4.  I put my towel in my left rear pocket and proceed to the gloves.  Right one goes on first, velcro the wrist.  Left one is next, velcro the wrist.  I let the wraps hang loose until I’m about ready.  As the tunes get going, I walk out of the locker room with a forcefull sigh - not one of desparation or angst, but one like a bull getting ready to charge.  And I do.  I get a quick drink of water from the fountain in the hallway, then trudge through the cardio room tightening up my wrist wraps.  I’m focused.  I see nobody.  I am ready.  I enter the weight room and begin.

No matter what the day it is, I have my program in my head.  I know what I’m going to do next, and I do it next.  I like when other people are at the bench, machine, whatever that I’m planning to use next.  It lets me mix things up and throw a shock to the system.  I grab weights, or stack them on, or get set up, and I am ready to begin.

 During the lift, I select some music that lets me release my rage.  I’m no usually an outwardly angry person - I tend to store things a bit.  But when the weights are there, and the Slipknot is blasting into my ears, I’m in a different state of mind.  Everything and everyone who’s pissed me off comes to the surface and I unleash on them all.  I save some things for bigger lifts, but recall the day’s aggrivations to herald a good workout.  Fortunately, there are a lot of things that piss me off on a normal day!  I just bottle them up and pour them back out when it’s time.  I think that’s healthy - or atleast I hope so.  At any rate, it works.

 I realize that this has gotten quite long, so I’ll end it here with a bit of my own motivations.  Here’s a short list of things that piss me off in a normal day:

 Old people driving in Buicks, people driving while on their cellphones, cellphones in restaurants or any public areas, the color yellow, fruit in my Jello, things that are not symmetrical, posers, fakers, expensive hookers (ok, that one’s just for fun)….  rude people, people that talk over me, lack of respect, people thinking that they are smarter than I am, being talked down to, not being looked up to, people who’s world’s revolve around themselves.

 I think that’ll about do it.  Thanks for reading, that is, if anyone actually does read these things.  Leave a comment, ask a question, I don’t care.  Piss me off - it’ll fuel me for 4:20 when my foot steps out of that locker room doorway.