timbri30’s BodyBlog

Well Im anxiously awaiting my CT scan (april 2nd) it will be nice just to know if everything is ok or not. I haven’t had as much swelling lately so that is a good thing. I almost want to cancel the CT scan but I wont, I want to make sure. Ive been having a hard time keeping the diet going lately. Ive been so busy at work that I just haven’t been eating at all. Im still drinking water good, but not really eating.

Had my 2nd Army drill this past week and I swear I had a BLAST … I laughed so much my sides hurt when I got home Sunday night.

I can’t wait for summer. I can’t wait to wear shorts and things that I could wear last year. And to be able to enjoy going swimming with  my family, I still dont want to put on a bathing suit but its a hell of a lot better than last year!!!

I hope everyone is doing well. Can’t wait to get back to my workouts (hear that Luke!!)

Well I finally just took the day off of work and went on base  to get the referral stuff done and get the CT scheduled. I go April 2nd. So not much longer. Im not having the pain I was but still the swelling. Im starting back to some lifting, but using an abdominal binder when I do. We will see how that goes.

So Im down to 217!! Yea!

Finally got all the stuff straightened out for he scan, so I can head to the base on Tuesday and get it all set up. Hopefully by the end of next week Ill know what we are looking at. Im hoping for it to be NOTHING but just fat

Ive been taking this week off from the gym to just relax a bit. Plus Ive been busy as hell with nursing. Im actually dying to get back to the gym believe or not. I wont be able to go today, BUSY BUSY BUSY but Im gonna start back the cardio this weekend and go ahead and kick it up to the twice a day. Then once I see what this is Im gonna get back to the weights, only a bit lighter this time.

Hope everyone have a great Friday the 13th…

Ok so I went to the doc today to ask about the swelling in my abd. I had surgery last april and had alot of swelling so when all the swelling went down but the abdomen I asked the doc and he said, "oh its normal and it will go away". So I waited and waited. Today he has decided that I have either 1) a hernia or 2) have seperated my abdominal muscle. I asked how we fix that 2nd one and he tells me that they will cut me open again hip to hip to lift all the skin and allow access to the muscle to repair it. Has anyone had to have this done? Does it have to be done that way? I can’t take another abdominal surgery like that. I just can’t take it. So I so depressed right now. Going to have a CT scan as soon as I can get the Army to get it ordered. I swear Im falling apart. I guess my warranty is up LOL

Luke took me to the Arnold on friday. WOW, thats all I can say. There are some BIG people out there!! And Im sorry, I know this might offend someone, but some of the girls I saw walking around there I honestly could not tell if they were women or men at first. Didn’t really watch anything, just walked around and picked up some samples. Got some really cute clothes. Drooled over some of the guys and wished I had perfect tits like some of the girls. And I learned that supplements are darned expensive! This is why so many people are fat. Its cheaper

And the line for the bb.com booth was TERRIBLE so I didn’t bother. I saw a few peeps walking around with bb.com shirts on but I didn’t stop anyone to say hi.

I wanted to watch the UFC fight, cause I love angry sports LOL but that was sold out. A friend of ours got free tickets from the Army. He was in the 2nd row with Tito Ortiz and Brock (that dude is huge). I sat home and watched it on ppv.

Got the results of my MRI. I have a torn acl/mcl in my right knee. I wear a brace when Im working out but apparently I’m doing some damage with the heavy weights. Im going to have to cut down a bit. Doc wants me to get my surgery soon. I plan on waiting till at least Oct/Nov, after motorcycle season. And going to have my left knee checked. I explained the pain to doc and she said, maybe a stress fracture. But we will see. Im just falling apart!

Going back to the gym tomorrow though. I dont want to quit now that Ive come this far.

So I rush my ass off tonight to make it to the gym to workout with my friend. Now Ive found out today my friend has cancer, my phone died and Ive lost all my contacts (yea i know boo hoo shut up) and I fell and jammed the crap of out my two fingers on my right hand. But Im there, Im angry and Im ready to work out. Now I think my HEAVY days are over. But no …. here we go again. I get the squats off with 3 45’s on each side … no problem. Then that darned dead lift. Now guys if you dont know this that is a hard exercise for women with weak bladders (from having HUGE BABIES). So I go to lift and PEE … yep pee on myself again, not just a little but alot (yea I know you can’t believe Im telling you this) So I excuse myself go to the bathroom and all the time Im about in tears. I understand I need to push myself but there are lower weights that would still push me and not make me pee on myself but I can’t seem to get my friend to understand this. And the more I try and he doesn’t listen the  more angry I get. Then he says well just do cardio … Well to someone who wanted to lift tonight that was like saying "F&^% YOU" … so I got angry walked away to get my bag, then he did the same, needless to say I didn’t get to work out. Then as Im crying like a baby (cause I do that when Im pissed) I decide well F it then Im gonna have a hot fudge cake from Frischs. Oh yes … I did it! Then I got sick and started throwing up. And I threw up and threw up and threw up.

I just can’t get him to understand that I dont have to lift extreme amounts to get something. There is a limit between what I can do a few times and what I can keep doing. I did the heavy days for him because I was honored that he took the time to come help me and I pushed myself and I felt it for days, I have two bad knees that let me know about the 405 pound days but i did it. And it just hurt me that today he could see that I needed that weight to be a little lower. Who wants to pee their pants when they work out. Right now Im so frustrated I dont care if I ever go to the gym again (Im sure this wont last long but its how i feel now).

Are there any girls reading this that are taller like me? What kind of weight did you start out with? Is it really realistic that I lift so heavy all the time? I DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT want to "bulk" up. I want lean sexy muscles and nice abs. I in no way want to be big like the body builders (no offense to any of you its just not what I want).

No please don’t think Im angry at my friend because I AM NOT. I was just upset at the lack of understanding. He has been informed by women that are tall like myself and told that I should lift heavy weights. So that is what he is doing. He would NEVER do anything to hurt me. He just knows Im a strong girl.

Oh friend of mine LOL  … I just needed to vent please dont take offense to this blog. Im still very honored that you take the time to care as much as you do about me and my success and I need you to to not give up on me. We just need to work something out and understand what I want to achieve.

Let me just say I understand why everyone talks about getting alot of sleep. I stayed out late last night (ok ok didn’t go to bed at all) then had my last heavy day with Luke … and my workout was as follows

leg press    350 x 4          385 x 4         then he figured out it still wasn’t that heavy for me so it went to    405 x 11

DB deadlift   75 x 2          75 x 2          75 x 3

standing calf         315 x 10      405 x 5          385 x 8

skull crusher   85 x 2    85 x 2  those were so heavy i was begging him to go lower so ….   65 x 3

DB curl     35 x 2     30 x 5       30 x 4

kick back    90 x 10     110 x 5        110 x 8

Now Im worn the F*^$ out!!! LOL

Then he left me so I did my ab workout and had a great stretch.

Im having a hard time eating like Im suppose to. Im not eating bad really, Im just not eating at all. Although last night I did have a chocolate milkshake (1/2 of it)

hope everyone had a great weekend ….