timbri30’s BodyBlog

Ok so I look at myself in my scrubs and I see the changes because my clothes/scrubs just fall off of me. I could fit another person (small person) in my scrubs with me that fit me tight just last year. I KNOW THIS and I SEE IT. But I look at myself in my bra and panties and I still see BIG. I see the thighs that are still to fat, the love handles that won’t budge, the abs that still appear like Im 6-7 months pregnant.

I try to take progress pics and I end up crying because I just see a ‘fat girl’ in the pics. I have so much respect for anyone that has been ‘obese’, because that is what I was (and still am actually) and gotten fit. Please know that it is no small thing that you have done. Hold your head high and know that you did something amazing. I am a successful person by nature. If I want something I achieve it. I have come from poor kid with no indoor plumbing to being the first person in my family to go to college and own my own home. And for years this weight thing has beaten me. I know that things take time. I guess Im just feeling pressure now since joining the Army. They want me fit and they want it now so I can attend my Officers class.

Thanks for letting me vent ….

Down three more pounds!! Im now at 220. Ok now its time to get to 200 … yea I know a skipped a few pounds but I want to hit 180 at some point. Once Im there I promise Ill stop obsessing about the numbers. I just want to be under 200. You just dont feel like a sexy woman if you have to tell people you are over 200 pounds.

Going to start really trying to do my 2 mile run this week … I haven’t gotten really serious about it yet but its time to! I can actually do 5-6 pushups now (yea I know pathetic) but still better than the 1 that I use to be able to do.

Going to be at Arnold on Friday … who all is going to be there?

Ok, boy a body just doesn’t change as quick as you want it to does it LOL But I actually am starting to notice small things FINALLY. Especially in the abs. I will try to get some good progress pics up soon. I can’t figure out how to take good pics.

I have finally started being able to drink all my water for the day. But I spend ALOT of time in the bathroom. My eating is much more in control now. I am DETERMINED to make this body change for me. I want to be the hottest mom around

Had my first Army drill this past weekend. You all know from reading my blogs that I kind of have this social phobia thing. Well let me tell you when you go in for your first drill as an officer and you don’t know how to salute, or how to stand at attention/ease, I do not know the different ranks yet. No one has really shown me anything so lets just say ALL EYES WERE ON ME and it wasn’t because Im cute LOL I spent the day running to the bathroom cause all i did all day was drink water and those darn pants are hard to get off when they are new, was just about to pee on myself and plop … dropped my baret in the toilet … Oh yes! lol Thank god i hadn’t went yet grabbed it out, went potty then had to wash it in the sink. Did I think about it being wool and shrinking …. NO … it was already too tight anyway. Oh well the weekend went well after all. All the NCO’s think Im "funny" and I still haven’t figured out how to do a proper salute.

Ok so I met Luke at the gym today. Here we go again LOL

Squat

185 x 9     245 x 4         275 x 4          275 x 10

(yea what happened to the only 2 rep thing Luke??? LOL)

Deadlift

205 x 3      205 x 2     195 x 2

before we started the next exercise luke went out for a min and while he was gone a guy in the gym saw the weight on the seated calf and said, "Darn girl is he trying to kill you" Now he had been watching me working out the entire time and when Luke left I thought he was going to come to my rescue LOL he said, "I know one thing Im not working out with you - you make me look bad" Great … no help … and here come Luke.

Seated Calf raise

245 x 6           270 x 4        270 x 3

Smith Close Grip bench

185 x 2 (again I dont remember lifting that I think Luke did)  165 x 2     155 x 3

barbell curl

95 x 2 (luke noticed i was rocking to get it up LOL)   90 x 1 (i swear i couldn’t do another)       85 x 3

Then I did 30 minutes of cardio and some cable crunches and some weighted crunches (on machine) with 110 lbs x 50.

 COME ON NEXT WEEK!!! LOL I get to stop this crazy max weight stuff and start on some whole body workouts. You’d think I would see some major changes in my body and darn it I still am not seeing what I want

Ok so today started a new week. Luke tells me, today its only 2 reps (Im thinking Oh yea finally LOL) then he adds AT THE HEAVIEST WEIGHT YOU CAN LIFT. Oh my god here we go again. I thought I was already at the heaviest weight I could lift. So here is what we did today.

Bench press

155 lbs (he starts right off trying to kill me) needless to say I only got 1 rep done and honestly I dont think I could have lifted that not one more time. And anyway I think Luke helped me lift it (he said he didnt but either it was him or an Angel!!)

135 x 1

115 x 3

Bent Row

115 x 3

115 x 3

125 x 2

Seated Military press

95 x 2

95 x 2

95 x 2

barbell shrug

225 x 2 (and again trying to kill me)

225 x 2

185 x 9 (what happened to 2 reps! LOL)

Then I did cable crunches 3 sets of 12 at 85 pounds, i did the cruches on the machine with 5 sets of 20 with 110 pounds.

I also did 20 minutes of cardio max incline and max resist, i looked like i just got out of the shower.

Then I stretched and headed to the tanning bed.

that was all from 1230 to 400. Its now almost 6pm and Im telling you Im already sore lol I wont be able to walk tomorrow. Once I get to the gym I just can’t stand to not give it my all. And I want to see changes like TODAY … its killing me to not see any changes in my abs STILL and really I dont see the changes that everyone else seems to see.

 Will the ‘old’ angie always be what I see in the mirror? God I hope not.

My dear friend Luke who puts me through my workout at the gym is trying to kill me I think. Like I have said many times he is all for me lifting heavy. Now this week is higher weight and only 4 reps unless he feels it wasnt heavy enough and then he’ll push me until he sees that I can not lift one more. If I were working out by myself I would in no way push as hard as when he is there. I figure he is taking his time to help me and there are other things he could be doing so I want to please him when he is there. So today some of  my workout was:

BB Dead lifts, BB squats, seated calf raises  ….

BB Dead lifts 4 @ 185 (first attempt at murder - and making me wet my pants) and 4 @ 155 and 4 @ 145.

BB squats 20 @ 115 and 6 @ 185 and 4 @ 205  (YES i said 205 — see — attempted murder right there and 2nd pants wetting)

Seated Calf raises 5 @ 180 he didn’t feel it was heavy enough and UP it went … I did 12 more @ 205.

Close Grip Bench 6 @ 115, and I begged for a lighter weight LOL so I got 6 @ 95.

BB curl 13 @ 65

Now granted I started the workout session by handing him a pen and a pad of paper so we could track the workout but the pen was a shocking pen (yes I like to play jokes) and all I heard was "damn Bitch why did that shock me" then I couldn’t stop laughing. So maybe he was just getting back at me (love ya Luke)

Luke you are my best friend … thank you for all you do.

And to my new friend Timmy … thank you for all the help with diet questions and for the great words of encouragement everyday.

Ok so yesterday i took a pic because I was so excited because I actually was able to see some change in my abs. Was it big like most of the sexy women on here … NO … but it was big for me. I have come to the conclusion that I may not ever look like these men/women that work so hard. Sometimes I wonder if I let my body go for too long and it will just never be ‘tight’ again … This just goes to show all you young women Dont let yourself get lost in taking care of others and forgetting about yourself. I should have ALWAYS made myself a priority and I didn’t. Now trying to get back is hell …. do they sell fitness in a bottle? lol cause I might like to buy some ….

 Bless my friend Luke … he has decided that we are stepping up the workouts this week (yes Luke I love you LOL) I hope I can walk by the end of the week. He is merciless …