This gets interesting….
My body knows the daily regiment. Up at 6:30am and coast through the early part of the day. At around 2pm, I feel it warming up. At 3pm it wants to run. By 4pm I’m out of the office and on my way to the gym and I’m really amped. All synapses are firing and I’m ready to hit the weights. This is my routine, and I love it.
Today I am thankful more than ever of this regiment. This "cycling up" saved my life. Quick reflexes would be the order of the day. My drive to the gym is short but sweet - a little jump on the highway from work and I’m there. It’s routine…..usually.
Today, I find myself in the far left lane of the highway and stopped because of traffic. Maybe somebody found that using their cell phone and driving at the same time was too much for them and they tagged the guy next to them. Who knows, but what I know is I’m sitting here, waiting. Right away I notice that all of the other lanes are moving. This is bad, because the drivers in the other lanes assume that all lanes are moving at the same speed (until they see us stopped). The car in front of me inches forward. Something’s bugging me about this scenario. The car inches forward some more. I feel like a sitting duck here since I’m the last in the pack of stopped cars and again, all of the other lanes are moving. My training in professional driving tells me to keep this small space I’ve gained in front of me - just in case I need it in a hurry.
I hit my hazards - you know - just in case. It’s funny how you see your actions create an instant reaction. My eyes float up from the hazard button to the rear view mirror to see a Ford Probe swing into my lane from the moving one at an easy 80 km/h. The Probe’s nose dips as I hear the first blink of my hazard lights come on. He’s sliding left and right. Smoke is bellowing out of his wheel wells. I’m ****ed, and I think right away, "Why did I have to pick up BBQ propane today?”. My trunk is full of it. Reflexes kick in and I floor it and swing to the right as much as I can and then straighten out. I’m half way between my lane and the one to the right and I have to stop again. Nowhere else to go and no time to look in the mirror again, I brace for impact. Here come the airbags, the whiplash, broken legs, gas explosion, who knows (By the way having a paramedic as a roommate who loves to tell work stories desensitizes you. Well, that desensitization goes away real ****ing fast at a time like this).
The driver of the probe gets enough sense to turn into the barrier to the left of me. I see a shape flying by and realize it’s the car roof, inches from my window (and face). The car is actually on two wheels since it’s driven into the barricade so hard. The rear wheel goes by my window now. I see the scraped hub cap from a bad parallel parking job one night. I see the scrapes on the rear bumper from a grocery cart or something like it. It’s the old cliché, “everything’s in slow motion”. Surprisingly enough for a moment there’s no sound, and then it comes rushing back with the tell-tale sounds of tearing rubber and metal. Now there’s no light. My truck is engulfed in a cloud of dust and smoke and who knows what else, like those videos of volcano ash coming down over a camera in some documentary on nature. Now the pathfinder’s heating fans that was just a moment ago obediently sucking nice fresh air into the cabin is now delivering a burning tire and asphalt smell. Pleasant.
Ok now all traffic is stopped. The fog lifts, and the Probe is some 5 cars in front of me. He managed to miss everyone. I call 911 to get some help out. It takes me three tries since my hands are shaking so much. You’ve got to wonder at times like this how you can get so lucky.
Well now I’m home. No gym tonight. I got here after the crash and drank a 1/2 liter of brandy (all I had – blame my wife) in one go. Sometimes the gym just has to wait.
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