thewelderguy77’s BodyBlog

Its going to be tough.   So I recently met with a dietician following a poor routine physical, and she gives me the low downs on triglycerides, HDL, and LDL, trans fats, hydrogenated oils…ect.  Holy crap I was basically unaware there is so much terrible food out there.  So body building just got harder.  No problem.  I’ll live longer and be more healthy, and the US government will have to pay my pension for many many years.  That’s how I’ll stick it to the man!

Joking aside, I’ve started sprinting one day a week.  This week I ran about 3.5 miles on Wednesday, then did sprints on Thursday.  When I’m sprinting, my body feels like a rusty 1984 cutlass with 200000 miles on it.  It has one blue door, a brown body, and no hubcaps.  Ah, yes…gone are the days of the 15 year old who could sprint 400 yards in 52 seconds, throw up, then run another event!  That body felt more like an angry yearling colt just struck in the ass by a lightening bolt while running through a cluster of hornet nests…but I digress.  I may be slower now, but I make way more money and the acne has cleared up nicely.

So, for the next few weeks, a 3 or maybe 4 miler twice a week, then a bawls to the wall sprint fest one day.  For the strength training, I’m going to focus more on  calesthenics…chin ups, push ups, flutter kicks..maybe a few weights in there, just to mix it up.  We’ll see where this train goes.  To all of my friends.  Live every day like yer asses are on fire!

So, I’m back in the U-S-S-A for two weeks and I have been defeated by all of the delicious un-healthy food avalible here.  Damn.  So jet lag, going from Europe to the US has kicked my ass…I haven’t had the energy to work out.  Damn.  Oh well.  I’ll pick it back up…I’m not living today like my ass is on fire.  I’m living today like my ass is glued to a chair…and speaking of glue, someone glued a beer glass to my hand.    

Week one is over, and I feel like I’ve made some good progress.  I hit the gym on Monday-tuessday then Thursday, Friday then I took Saturday off.  I got an exceptionally good chest work out in on Thursday.  Its Sunday afternoon and I’m still sore…

So, I bought some Soy protein the other day…Holy crap, I don’t think I’ve ever had anything that disgusting in my life.  It was the kind of nasty I had to chase with water…well at least I won’t dehidrate.  Aside from the taste, Soy looks to be extremely healthy for you.  It has no choleterol, few carbs and its super high in protien.  It hasn’t …y’know torn me up yet so…two out of three aint bad.

I took the fam to Gibralter yesterday, y’know on the South coast of Spain.  We paid 50 Euros to take a tour of the upper rock, and it was a good-time, git-down, fun-blast for the whole family.  There are semi-tame monkeys on top of the rock, and our tour guide coaxed one on my shoulder with a peanut.  So, this big hairy monkey sat on my shoulder crunching down on a peanut while my wife snapped away on the camera and my daughter giggled her ass off.  So after he eats the peanut…leaves the shell all over my shoulder and head…with a leap like a furry NBA star he was gone to feed on the generosity of another tourist.  Good times.

My pee is neon yellow!  I don’t know whether to be amused or scared.  I’ve been taking Animal stacks…minus the red pill, which is a stimulant.  Its to early to see results but I’m optimistic. 

So my doctor says I have "dangerously high" cholesterol…HDL that is.  He says my LDL is actually really good because I do a lot of cardio.  I pretty much have to cut back on the red meat, and other fatty foods.  Plus, I have to be more careful of the protein I buy.  I had to give some away because it had 20ml of cholesterol per serving which meant I saw about to drown my arteries.  I ordered some soy protein, so we’ll see how that works.

The place where I took my new job has its own really nice gym, and usually I have the place to myself.   It has been really nice not having to fight for a turn.  It would be perfect if I just had my looney workin-out buddy from the desert.  He was insane motivated…

Regarding the workout schedule, I’m doing 2 days on one day off then two days back on and two days off because I learned from my last bulk-cut cycle that sometimes less is more.  I had underestimated the value of rest.  Monday was shoulders, Tuesday arms, today was rest and manana will be chest, Friday will be back.  Next week I’ll throw legs in there too.  To those of you out there lifting weights with me every day…live every day like yer ass is on fire and happy lifting!

So a lot has happened since my last post…Here I’ll bring you up to speed.  Took the family on the best vacation ever, moved to a whole ‘nother continent, sold a house, started a new job…and now I’m here.  My new job has a gym on sight…yep, I seriously have to walk less than 20 yards to find a full up gym. 

So, I’ve been here for about three months and its high time I started getting serious in the gym again.  I’m going to have to be more careful on how I bulk this time because, I had an annual physical and the doc tells me I have high colesterol…oh no!  So, no more red meats, fewer pizzas, less ice cream…bla bla bla.  I’ve been eating pretty clean since the physical…its actually pretty easy to do when you have good food at your finger tips.

So I just ordered some whey protein, and some NO xplode…when they get here…BOOM! its on!  Those weights hear me comming…they shutter at the sound of my name…Tom’s back M-Fers!!!!

The cast of characters…Guys…many of you have been reading my blog for a while now and I figured you all may want a visual of the characters that have filled my blog these past few months.  So check out the picture on the bottom…

Starting on the left is my good lifting buddy…Soy un puto…himself.  He’s really helped me push myself these last few months, and its been fun working out with him.  Next is my trainee.  Notice the cool hat?  We couldn’t find a birthday pointy hat so we stole a paper hat from the chow hall wrote "birthday girl" on it and made her wear that.  Next up is my 270lb 6′8" monster of a roomie.  I swear I should have gotten a bigger room because of his considerable size.  We won a game of pool the other day against some Army guys and he literally picked my 200lb ass up and shook me like a rag doll.  On the end…thats me and yes the Guinness on the table is mine.  I had to have a couple with my good friends before I left.  One good thing about the military is you meet so many awesome people that become awesome friends, but the bad thing is you see each other part ways pretty often.  I have good friends all over the world.  No matter where I am, if there is an Air Force base there, chances are I have at least one good friend there.

So for the last few days I’ve been doing mostly maintenance work outs.  I’m not really expecting to gain anything, just trying to maintain what I’ve gained.  Today I got a good 1/2 hour run in and I did a medium arm work out.  Take care folks!  Happy lifting and live every day like your ass is on fire.

Ladies and gentlemen, my replacement is here, we’ve done our turn over, I’m packing my bags and I’m OUT!  The last few weeks have gone by fast, as I have been finishing up the last few projects.  The process of getting back home takes a while so, barring any catastrophic circumstances I’ll get home on the 14th or so.

So yesterday, all of the base Chiefs got together and presented me with their coin for the professional development stuff we’ve done for Jr enlisted folks while I’m out here.  Now for you non-military types let me explain what a Chief is…The Army and USMC calls him a Sergeant Major, The Air Force calls him a Chief, the Navy and coast guard calls him Master Chief…either way, this guy has been around for a long-assed time.  He knows just about everything.  He has made it to the top of the enlisted rank and even though I technically outrank him, HE has the experience and HE is the one I ALWAYS go to before I make a command decision. 

So my workout partner, that some of you may remember, fabricated a lame assed excuse to get me out to the base theater-tent to move some boxes.  It was hard for him to do because I have X project and Y project I’m trying to finish up.  Anyway, I walk into the theater tent expecting to be met with heavy boxes, and instead there is a crowd of about two dozen Chiefs there.  The Top chief calls me to the front and recounts the stuff we have accomplished and presents me with the Chief’s coin.  Now let me explain the significant of a chief’s coin.  The chief’s coin is usually given by the Chief to enlisted dudes who go above and beyond.  I have NEVER seen an officer presented with a Chief’s coin.  It would be fair to say that it is unusual.

I was surprised, a little embarrassed and extremely humbled and honored to be recognized by people I’ve always looked up to.  The Chief presented the coin hidden in a handshake in the discreet Air Force tradition and executed a razor sharp salute that I equally returned.  Then, I was completely screwed because he asked me to speak to the group of chiefs.  I spoke completely off the cuff for maybe three minutes about the important role chiefs play in the development of officers and that I couldn’t have made it to where I am today without a lot of people like them. Then I thanked them and walked out with my head still spinning…thinking WTF just happened?

Guys, I want to thank all of my friends Jralph, Veronique, Timbri, Super Kim, Rock, Herm, Brad, and many more.  You all rock.  Anyway, I’m going to go get my last work out on and finish packing.  You guys be cool!  Stay motivated and live every day like your ass is on fire.

I’m BACK! Ladies and gentlemen, I had a small lapse in motivation, but yesterday I was back in full attack! I did a very hard arm workout with my partner, then I did a 15 minute run, and 30 minutes of cardio. Then I busted out a hard ab workout. BAM! I made it all the way through yesterday and I ate clean as a whistle, got my protein in and drank plenty of water. I must have looked like a retard popping open a can of soup at the table in the chow hall, but I don’t care. Some days I just can’t eat their sh*t. I hadn’t planned on it being this hard to eat clean out here. On previous deployments the food had been excellent and there is a great variety and plenty of fresh fruit. Oh man, when I was at another location just north of here, they had fresh apples, bananas, strawberries, kiwis, blueberries…you name it, they had it. I didn’t realize how spoiled I was. Here, you’re lucky to get fruit from a can and corn flakes. I’m making it though. I’ve discovered a new way to eat oatmeal. Take canned peaches…y’know the school bus orange ones…and slice up a few of those and place them in a little bit of plain oat meal. It makes it palatable.

It always amazes me how ignorant…I won’t say stupid…some people are about food. I witnessed an older guy the other day with a salad. No problem right? Well, he had lettuce, tomatoes, carrots all the good stuff SMOTHERED in cheese, bacon bits and he must have put a CUP of ranch dressing on it. I was watching him do it, while engaging in polite conversation. Him: Yeah, I have to cut back a bit I’m trying to lose some weight while I’m here. Me: (trying not to be a food nazi) Well that ranch dressing isn’t helping you any. Him: Naw, this’ll be good for me. I’m eatin’ a salad. Me: Thinking, but not saying…”Good luck with that bro…let me know how that works out for you.“ It’s not just that one incident either. I saw a friend do an incredibly hard work out then chow down on some peanut M&Ms. The friend looked at me and said “what?” “They have peanuts in them…Its protein right?” Better yet, I see people trying to lose weight eating cereal, but not just any cereal…they wolf down some good old frosted mini wheats. I don’t want to be “that guy” who terrorizes everyone about their food. But it kills me to hear people bitch about their weight while chowing down on some ice cream and following that up with a nice Mountain Dew. Then for desert chowing on a nice snicker’s bar…but it has peanuts!!! F- it. If you want to eat it, then eat it. I’m not your daddy…well, I’m probably not your daddy…until you can show me a paternity test, I’m not your daddy. Who am I kidding? I was so uncool and awkward, before I met my wife. Let me rephrase that. I’m so uncool and awkward, that I can guarantee there is no chance I have any illegitimate ankle biters running around.

So today will be back day. I’m going to lift a bull dozer today. I’m a little pissed because It looks like I’ve lost some muscle mass in my chest. Maybe I’ll take a picture anc compare, but when I look in the mirror, I see less chest. Maybe its in my head. Anyway, be cool. Lift heavy. Eat clean. And live everyday like yer ass is on fire.

Ladies and gentlemen, today is the first of may which means I’m almost single digit days away from going home. Since I posted last I have taken a three day rest. I haven’t touched a weight, nor have I done cardio and its been exceptionally helpful. My motivation was back today, as I actually looked forward to getting to the gym. I did a hard chest work out today. I did dumbbell press w/ 100s, then inclined butterfly curls w/ 40s followed by 30s then inclined press w/ 70s. I seemed to have some of my insane retard strength back. I’m about to hit the elliptical for about 45 minutes. I would run, but its 6:00pm here and still over 100 degrees…F-that!

Yesterday was a somewhat stressful day, which ended really well. Started off with a broken jet…no big deal, we get those all the time. The problem was, we had a broken jet we couldn’t fix…now we have a serious problem because it’s my job to get whatever we need to fix that jet to put it back in the war ASA-F-P. Well long story short, the people at another base we needed to help us completely screwed us and I have a bunch of technicians sitting around with thumbs up their asses because they don’t have the tool they need. Not good! This is the type of sh*t that can cause unwanted attention at the highest levels, which is never a good thing. At the end of the day, we found the tool we needed and made a jet safe to fly…and the war goes on for another day. However, due to the anger that built up throughout the day, I regretfully ate a whole bag of jelly beans…three ice cream bars, and two small bags of Doritos. Oh well, I had eaten clean…very clean for two solid weeks, and moderately clean for about a month prior to that.

On a personal note, I sent my wife and daughter flowers yesterday for no reason. I guess I did that to let them know I’m thinking about them and still dig them even though I’m so far away.  It’s hard to be a good husband and parent from this far away. My daughter got her flowers at school, and she really dug them…she was so excited when I called. It probably causes a disturbance when I have flowers delivered to her classroom; she is only in preschool. The school can sue me if they want… Ladies and gents, hope you have the great work outs and live every day like your asses are on fire…later Tom the welder.

Ladies and gentlemen, I hope this post finds you all well.  I’ve noticed as spring weather is rolling along, (well not for you Veronique) the boards have been relatively quiet.  There seem to be fewer beginners here than when I started in January.  Anyway, 15 days from today I’ll be chillin’ out with my family.  I’ll take my daughter out of school for a few days so we can catch up.  She loves to go to Starbucks and hang out and draw with crayons.  She likes to get the $2.50 organic chocolate milk and a big cookie and read books with me.  My kid is so flippin’ cool, and funny.  She has my sense of humor which is good, but not so good for my wife because now she has two of us to deal with.  She started telling knock-knock jokes about a year ago…at age 3.  I’ll share her favorite joke with you all now: 

Her: Hey dad!  Where do Pirates eat? 

Me: I don’t know Emy, where do Pirates…

Her:  AT ARRRR-BYS!

The funniest thing is she always laughs her little ass off every time she tells it…

So 15 short days from now I’ll be chilling out with my family, I’ll be grilling on my deck, getting ready for vacation.  I’ll be dusting off my motorcycle and going for a long ride.

As far as the work outs are going, I’m still cruising along, though I’m starting to lose some of my motivation.  My ass hasn’t quite been on fire, it been more uncomfortably hot lately.  It gets harder and harder to get it done every day.  Maybe I’ll take a couple of days off.  I haven’t done that in a while.  I think I’ll take 2 days just to rest and hit it hard with my chest on Wednesday.  Last night I had a pretty decent shoulder work out, plus I got 20 minutes of good cardio in.  Today I did squats, Dead lifts and abs.  I’m careful not to use my arm because the elbow injury is back.  DAMN IT!  It happened last night I was doing heavy shoulder presses, it started acting up again. Today it is hella sore.  I think the 2 days will be good. 

I have been eating really clean and I’ve gotten used to it.  Breakfast usually consists of oatmeal with canned peaches, egg white with peppers, onions and mushrooms.  I’ll throw in some skimmed milk to round the whole thing out.  For lunch I’ll either have some Progresso soup with or just  chicken breast with a banana and wheat bread and round that out with milk. 

So on May 1st in days, I’m going to buy some pizzas and beer for my buddies and we’re going to celebrate.  I can’t say exactly what we’re celebrating.  In vague terms it will be a new beginning.   It will sorta be unspoken.  Like when you’re sitting in a vehicle and someone cuts a fart…Or like the conspicuously gay person at work…who has had the same “roommate” for 5 years; everyone knows it, but nobody says anything.  Take it easy guys!  Live every day like your ass is on fire.