I’m just sayin…

The other day Mark mentioned to me that I don’t interact like I used to…that I’ve been using training as an excuse not to go out or participate in the UFC events that I’m always avid about attending. Well, its true…and since I’m on a medical hiatus from competing and am forced to back off of the intense training that I’ve been living on for the last few months…I need to do something to get my spirits up! Possibly get a life!

Last night was the perfect opportunity. Mark is with the boys this weekend and I have decided that I’m going out! I have a friend who is paid to keep the party going at one of the local hot spots and he’s always looking for a dance partner. I’ve put him off repeatedly and/or chickened out…but, you know what? Tonight we are gonna tear that floor up! At about 12:30, I put on my tightest, stretchy jeans a dance top and hit the club!

We were having fun…I spent most of the time on the floor or close to it since every song said to drop…so I had to drop it! You know how I do! I was having a blast and then I heard the heavy beat….Flo-Rida was mixing into Huey’s Pop Lock and Drop it! I had to do what the song said…My friend was all into it, I was all into it…and about the 5th time that I pop and locked it…I thought he hit me on the @$ when I dropped it…then I did it again…this time I felt a very very cold breeze on my backside and realized that wasn’t a pat on the butte that I had felt.

I stood up immediately and turned to him and said…God, I just ripped my jeans!! We had to get to a wall immediately because we had been dancing on a platform and I don’t know how many people I might be mooning. We backed up to assess the damage and we saw it…the split!

My pants looked like an old lady’s ripped hose….it started on the insde of my knee and carried all the way up to the top of my butte crack! How am I gonna get out of here!! I stood on the top of the stairs of the platform as he got his jacket, wrapped it around me and then headed to my car…We laughed the entire time…lucky for me, I’m a walking disaster so I don’t get embarassed but the bouncer at the door knew me and kept asking stupid questions really loud as we walked away…he thought L’s excitement and my giddiness was because someone was about to hit! I don’t think so!

The moral of the story…It doesn’t matter how stretchy a pair of jeans are… make sure you practice dropping it at home before you split your pants in public!

Happy New Years everyone!!!

Don’t make any Resolutions for 2008!! Resolutions have the tendency to fail because there is no end in sight. Instead, make goals…if you can see a finish line you will be more inclined to stick with it and make this next year worth the hype!!

I’m not making any Promises. I have my goals and the Season starts in the morning!

Every choice that we make today has a side effect - some are good; some are bad. I noticed that we have the tendency to think we are invincible. We’ll do things to our bodies that we know are damaging but since the repercussions are not immediate…we bypass the nagging thought in the back of our mind that is begging us to stop. We know the side effects, done the research, seen the TV specials…but it still doesn’t stop us.

Whether its an addiction, a way to deal, or just boredom…its a choice that we are not sorry for-well, not right now; but what about the future? One day we’ll get to the point where our lifestyle will catch up to us…what we do now will effect that outcome. So…will you welcome it or regret it?

‘Just make it to the light and then you can walk’ - This is the pep talk I give myself every evening while running. I’m at the bottom of the hill and all I can ever see is the red traffic light at the top…a half a mile up! I never make it. I run as fast as I can or I try to pace myself but that red light never gets closer…actually, it taunts me as it scoots back!

Tonight was amazing…I had downloaded a Benni Benassi megamix; the weather was perfect; and my spirits were high. One mile down-I turned the corner and started heading up the hill. I looked up and saw the light….red! Okay, go! I stopped looking at it. Instead, I looked at the ground right in front of me. I paid attention to my breathing and every step that I took. I didn’t even realize that I had gotten to the top of the hill until I looked up and saw…green! I made it!! I almost pulled a Rocky ‘Victory Dance’ but I hadn’t downloaded the song yet. Instead, I finished my hour.

Have you figured out that this is not really about a light? I’m 5 weeks out as of yesterday. My first competition will be  on October 6…there is no stopping me. When I realized that I had to look for a plan B…that big red Light was creeping away from me. No, I don’t have everything that I need…but you know what? I need to focus on my breathing and taking this one step at a time. I’ll look down at my next move instead straining to see the end!

Instead of focusing so hard on the finish line…Run the race! My Coach is always saying that to me…it bugs me. LOL!!

What’s next in line for you? Whatever your goal is you have to learn to be patient. You have to put it into perspective and you have to slow down enough to run the race without burning yourself out. Don’t let anyone or anything (especially yourself) get in the way. There is always an obstacle…what are you going to do with it?

You can accomplish your goals…the light is red right now…but, wait…oh, there it goes! Now its green so go!

The title sounds kind of dirty…I like it!

Its hard to eat the same thing everyday, its hard to get up in the morning to workout just so you can turn around and do it again that evening. Its hard not grab a piece of candy and snack…So, why do it? Because at the end of the day, it just feels good.

No matter what it is…it feels great to do the right thing. Besides, you never know who is watching. Especially, the critics. If you set a high standard for yourself, or make a goal that is unattainable to the average citizen they will watch your every move…just so they can see you mess up (They feel better seeing you portray a human trait). We’re not expected to be common. We are not allowed to be normal. Don’t get mad…take it as a compliment. When someone hates on you because you won’t go to the restaraunt, or stay out late, or can’t accept plans because of your training schedule…don’t sweat it! Don’t even waste your time trying to explain yourself because they won’t hear it. They don’t get it. To them, this is torture and what earthly reason would you have to put yourself through this? 

Hmmm, Bodybuilding is a sport and to a competitor it is an art form. You have to work extremely hard to develop your muscle groups and then skillfully and artistically display those muscles on stage. You are Superhuman…whether you compete or not - if you have chosen this lifestyle you are an artist…and even though you put yourself through hell, at the end of the day…because you did exactly what you were supposed to do…that feeling of accomplishment and the results in the mirror are your trophies! Why do I do it?

Because it feels good.

I put this in a Forum thread…but my threads keep disappearing.

I’ve always said that I am an entertaining person and that if someone just followed me around with a camera, my clumsiness would make them millions! I am such a clutz and have so many instances that I no longer get embarassed…and its a good thing. Here’s my story. I had gone to the public park for my evening cardio session. I had only run a 1/2 mile when I noticed the string on my drawstring pant had gotten really really long…why didn’ that clue me in? I’m running…in the zone and working it out! I passed this couple taking a slow stroll while holding hands. I’m so focused that I didn’t realize that my pants had come undone; then I felt it! A small cooling sesnsation in my glueteal area…and then…my pants just fell around my ankles. I tripped on the legs and almost fell out of them. I didn’t even turn around, I knew that I hadn’t gone far enough to get away from the couple. Cars are passing me, people are watching me as they sit on their porch….I just pulled my clothes back on and started walking again; as I tried to get my pants on and tie them tight enough so that they’ll stay on, a jogger slowly passes me and says ‘you dropped your pants’. Moron, I know. but I hope you enjoyed the show! I still had at least a mile before I could get back to my car…I ran really fast and didn’t look anyone in the face! The moral of this story…Elastic waistbands are our friends!

I’ve discovered throughout my life that sometimes the dream of something is more satisfying then the reality. The reality of being with someone can be disappointing compared to my vision of the relationship. This is now playing true for food. Huh?

This morning I woke up and said…’when I go get my coffee, I’m getting a toasted cheese Danish.’ Hmmm! With every intention of cheating for breakfast, I headed out the door. I thought about how good it will be and licked my lips all the way up to the counter and looked at the display of pastries. I pulled out my wallet, gave my order, grabbed a napkin and left. When I got to work I prepared my breakfast, sat down, took a big whiff of my coffee and ate…my oatmeal.

Nothing is wrong with the thought…the craving. It’s your reaction that can do the damage. Every time I walk out my house I think about stopping and getting some kind of junk food that will satisfy my immediate desire.. I’ll even drive into a fast food restaraunt or stand in the ice cream section of the store. No one will see me, I can go get it and scarf it down…will it really hurt me? It’s just this one time. I’ve been consumed with thoughts of sweets and now that I’m on my 4 week cut…it is so intense that I’m loopy and lethargic. I’m not the Queen of willpower (yet), I just hate hate hate the ‘what if’ game. Every morning I get up and my body has changed…I’m so much happier knowing that the sacrifices that I have made are starting to pay off and I’m one step closer to my goal.

But ‘what if’ I give in this one time…if I adhere to my longing I may never know how much better it could have been. Why open that door to seduction…once its open it’s not so easy to close it. He is a strong and attractive charmer. The dream of seduction is so much more wonderful than the reality. Because really, he says all the right things but will leave you feeling guilty, shamed, and hurting.

I’m losing my hips…well, I’ve lost them!

This morning was upper body and coach felt the need to work his own dieting frustrations out on my shoulders…that’s fine but I had a hard time driving home. He was pointing out places where he is seeing seperation and striations in my arms and back…then I noticed it! I got excited - the Taper! I’ve got the ‘V’!

My mother said that I never had hips but now she really has something to hate on me about! True, my clothes are fitting me differently but I don’t notice things until coach points them out…until then I just think that I’m behind. I just need to make sure that I keep up my cardio.

Saturday we will have another walkthrough so I’ll be able to take and post some more scantily clad pics. LOL!

But maybe I should. Today really is Friday the 13th and its hit me hard all before 7am. I get up this morning and I notice a wet spot on my ceiling - I’ll worry about it when I get back from the gym. Uh…if I can get there. My tire is low…extrememly low. *sigh* Well, there’s a gas station with an air pump next to the gym so I’ll take care of it and then workout. Its a good thing that my workout was off the chain, otherwise, it would not have been worth getting out of bed today.

Leaving the gym, I notice that my car is now leaning…literally. My tire is completely flat. Oh, I don’t have time for this. I limp back to the gas station to fill it up. Its only 6:45 so nothing is open. I drive, carefully, back home…I shower, pack my meals, call my boss, and head to the Tire shop. I got there at 7:20 (that was the quickest that I’ve ever gotten ready) and sat outside and just felt my tire go flat.

I have a nail in both of my front tires and both need to be replaced. While I’m here, lets get it all done; so I include an oil change, alignment, and tune up…$250 gone all before noon! Not to mention I have this ghostly leak coming from upstairs. I think its pipes or something becuse I checked the and nothing is wet or leaking.

I want to go back to bed…its not even noon and I’ve spilled my coffee too.