I’m just sayin…

I’ve discovered throughout my life that sometimes the dream of something is more satisfying then the reality. The reality of being with someone can be disappointing compared to my vision of the relationship. This is now playing true for food. Huh?

This morning I woke up and said…’when I go get my coffee, I’m getting a toasted cheese Danish.’ Hmmm! With every intention of cheating for breakfast, I headed out the door. I thought about how good it will be and licked my lips all the way up to the counter and looked at the display of pastries. I pulled out my wallet, gave my order, grabbed a napkin and left. When I got to work I prepared my breakfast, sat down, took a big whiff of my coffee and ate…my oatmeal.

Nothing is wrong with the thought…the craving. It’s your reaction that can do the damage. Every time I walk out my house I think about stopping and getting some kind of junk food that will satisfy my immediate desire.. I’ll even drive into a fast food restaraunt or stand in the ice cream section of the store. No one will see me, I can go get it and scarf it down…will it really hurt me? It’s just this one time. I’ve been consumed with thoughts of sweets and now that I’m on my 4 week cut…it is so intense that I’m loopy and lethargic. I’m not the Queen of willpower (yet), I just hate hate hate the ‘what if’ game. Every morning I get up and my body has changed…I’m so much happier knowing that the sacrifices that I have made are starting to pay off and I’m one step closer to my goal.

But ‘what if’ I give in this one time…if I adhere to my longing I may never know how much better it could have been. Why open that door to seduction…once its open it’s not so easy to close it. He is a strong and attractive charmer. The dream of seduction is so much more wonderful than the reality. Because really, he says all the right things but will leave you feeling guilty, shamed, and hurting.