Pop, Lock and Drop…Riiiip!
The other day Mark mentioned to me that I don’t interact like I used to…that I’ve been using training as an excuse not to go out or participate in the UFC events that I’m always avid about attending. Well, its true…and since I’m on a medical hiatus from competing and am forced to back off of the intense training that I’ve been living on for the last few months…I need to do something to get my spirits up! Possibly get a life!
Last night was the perfect opportunity. Mark is with the boys this weekend and I have decided that I’m going out! I have a friend who is paid to keep the party going at one of the local hot spots and he’s always looking for a dance partner. I’ve put him off repeatedly and/or chickened out…but, you know what? Tonight we are gonna tear that floor up! At about 12:30, I put on my tightest, stretchy jeans a dance top and hit the club!
We were having fun…I spent most of the time on the floor or close to it since every song said to drop…so I had to drop it! You know how I do! I was having a blast and then I heard the heavy beat….Flo-Rida was mixing into Huey’s Pop Lock and Drop it! I had to do what the song said…My friend was all into it, I was all into it…and about the 5th time that I pop and locked it…I thought he hit me on the @$ when I dropped it…then I did it again…this time I felt a very very cold breeze on my backside and realized that wasn’t a pat on the butte that I had felt.
I stood up immediately and turned to him and said…God, I just ripped my jeans!! We had to get to a wall immediately because we had been dancing on a platform and I don’t know how many people I might be mooning. We backed up to assess the damage and we saw it…the split!
My pants looked like an old lady’s ripped hose….it started on the insde of my knee and carried all the way up to the top of my butte crack! How am I gonna get out of here!! I stood on the top of the stairs of the platform as he got his jacket, wrapped it around me and then headed to my car…We laughed the entire time…lucky for me, I’m a walking disaster so I don’t get embarassed but the bouncer at the door knew me and kept asking stupid questions really loud as we walked away…he thought L’s excitement and my giddiness was because someone was about to hit! I don’t think so!
The moral of the story…It doesn’t matter how stretchy a pair of jeans are… make sure you practice dropping it at home before you split your pants in public!
March 23, 2008 at 1:22 pm
oh dayuuum!!! lol too bad.
March 24, 2008 at 2:16 pm
wtf
ass real fat or pants too tight, whats the real story?
you told mark right?
April 29, 2008 at 2:06 pm
ah yes, the dangers of building muscles in the legs. be careful or your ass will be swingin’ in the breeze.
on the other hand, it could’ve been a sweet show…
June 9, 2008 at 9:30 am
On one of those Carnival cruise ships, in their tiny dance club while going down for a split, I actually did this very same thing although this was years ago and before I got seriously into lifting, but nevertheless, i can still remember feeling the sudden breeze and asking my brother to go back to our room for extra pants…. Good times
August 21, 2008 at 3:39 pm
LOL! That exact thing happened to me! but my pants ripped from top of my rear to the bottom of the crotch, and I was wearing a g-string! It’s was the most embarassing and hilarious moment in my life to date! Nice to know I’m not the only one tearin it up on the dancefloor!