I’m just sayin…

I hope the title doesn’t get me into trouble.

~It is the constant and determined effort that breaks down all resistance and sweeps away all obstacles.~

Since I started training to be a competitor I have been faced with so many obstacles. Another one surfaced on Friday and I had another pity party for myself and was ready to throw in the towel. But then, fate stepped in - I met Lee Haney at GNC on Saturday and he reminded me that Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.

This man is amazing. We talked for a long while and he gave me his full attention even though other people were waiting to meet him. We discussed my workout schedule, my diet…he gave me tips for the next time, and told me how I can make it through the next 4-5 weeks. He was asking me to flex my arms as he poked and prodded me to check for body fat and water retention…’turn around’ (poke poke); let me see your calves (poke poke)? Lift your shirt, lets see your abs (poke poke)…yeah, I’m in the middle of GNC and people are looking at us all twisted. I know he’s checking my progress and I’m used to it so its not a big deal…but I have to feed into people’s inquisitive nature!

As I was leaving I walked past this chick who had been staring at us with big eyes…I pretended to giggle like a school girl and as I walked passed her I said ‘I just got felt up by Lee Haney’.

The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done. Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that!

This quote was sent to me as inspiration to push while going through a tough spot! Its from the lastest Rocky Movie…I haven’t seen it yet but I really really like this quote.

I put this in a Forum thread…but my threads keep disappearing.

I’ve always said that I am an entertaining person and that if someone just followed me around with a camera, my clumsiness would make them millions! I am such a clutz and have so many instances that I no longer get embarassed…and its a good thing. Here’s my story. I had gone to the public park for my evening cardio session. I had only run a 1/2 mile when I noticed the string on my drawstring pant had gotten really really long…why didn’ that clue me in? I’m running…in the zone and working it out! I passed this couple taking a slow stroll while holding hands. I’m so focused that I didn’t realize that my pants had come undone; then I felt it! A small cooling sesnsation in my glueteal area…and then…my pants just fell around my ankles. I tripped on the legs and almost fell out of them. I didn’t even turn around, I knew that I hadn’t gone far enough to get away from the couple. Cars are passing me, people are watching me as they sit on their porch….I just pulled my clothes back on and started walking again; as I tried to get my pants on and tie them tight enough so that they’ll stay on, a jogger slowly passes me and says ‘you dropped your pants’. Moron, I know. but I hope you enjoyed the show! I still had at least a mile before I could get back to my car…I ran really fast and didn’t look anyone in the face! The moral of this story…Elastic waistbands are our friends!

I’ve discovered throughout my life that sometimes the dream of something is more satisfying then the reality. The reality of being with someone can be disappointing compared to my vision of the relationship. This is now playing true for food. Huh?

This morning I woke up and said…’when I go get my coffee, I’m getting a toasted cheese Danish.’ Hmmm! With every intention of cheating for breakfast, I headed out the door. I thought about how good it will be and licked my lips all the way up to the counter and looked at the display of pastries. I pulled out my wallet, gave my order, grabbed a napkin and left. When I got to work I prepared my breakfast, sat down, took a big whiff of my coffee and ate…my oatmeal.

Nothing is wrong with the thought…the craving. It’s your reaction that can do the damage. Every time I walk out my house I think about stopping and getting some kind of junk food that will satisfy my immediate desire.. I’ll even drive into a fast food restaraunt or stand in the ice cream section of the store. No one will see me, I can go get it and scarf it down…will it really hurt me? It’s just this one time. I’ve been consumed with thoughts of sweets and now that I’m on my 4 week cut…it is so intense that I’m loopy and lethargic. I’m not the Queen of willpower (yet), I just hate hate hate the ‘what if’ game. Every morning I get up and my body has changed…I’m so much happier knowing that the sacrifices that I have made are starting to pay off and I’m one step closer to my goal.

But ‘what if’ I give in this one time…if I adhere to my longing I may never know how much better it could have been. Why open that door to seduction…once its open it’s not so easy to close it. He is a strong and attractive charmer. The dream of seduction is so much more wonderful than the reality. Because really, he says all the right things but will leave you feeling guilty, shamed, and hurting.

How dare you judge me and tell me that I’m living ‘unhealthy’ and that I’m not happy (I don’t remember you being in my head).

How dare you tell me that I’m not enjoying life.

How dare you say to me, as you drink your third coke in 2 hours, that drinking a gallon of water is not good for me.

How dare you sit there and pretend to care about my business as you inform me that I’m overworking my body because I’m doing too much. Spending all my life in the gym is bad for the social life and that I won’t get a man because I focus too much on myself. I should quit this idea of a competition because its made me too cranky….

Hmm, uh no chica…you made too cranky. At first I was pissed off about this…that my boss and co-workers are educating me on fitness as they gather around boxes of krispie creme donuts and diet coke. You…who are obese and five seconds away from diabetes and a stroke…you are informing me that my habits aren’t healthy?

I need to keep people out my space…they are jealous because I have the body that they want (not to sound vain but if you saw these people the only thing you would be able to say is…damn!). Per some survey that I saw on the news a while ago, I live in one of the ‘fattest’ towns in America (no, not the state of GA but America) …but they don’t care. I can’t be mad at them, I feel sorry for them.

These are the people who want that magic pill to dissolve all the fat out of their body as they sleep and they can wake up and piss out 80 pounds before work; this is the group who will get sucked and tucked and get upset because they have to go back in 3 months to do it again; this is the crowd who will buy every dream machine on TV because of the assinine promises made; this is the crew that is all talk and no action.

Well, if it was easy then it wouldn’t be worth it. You can’t be afraid of hard work in this business and I won’t let you drag me down. Okay, I feel better after venting.