tegid’s BodyBlog

Well, it’s been pretty eventful. Part of the difficulties with a long-term condition is that there are a number of symptoms that kid of feed off each other. The biggest problem is that if medication affects any one of those symptoms, there is a chain reaction and the whole lot cascade.

Unfortunately, the medical world seems to assume that you need to treat each of the symptoms with different drugs – and in some situations, this just hits the accelerator for the symptom cycle. Taking the drug away can also create problems. So there is no simple answer.

Over the past 12 months, I have just hit more and more difficulties as this symptom cycle has sped up. What I want to do is hit the brakes.  In terms of training, I simply haven’t grown and now I’m losing strength. What does this actually mean? It means that the muscles are not in an anabolic state – they are in a catabolic state. You can add tendons to that statement, too.  

Being brutally honest, people have suggested that I use steroids to counteract this. I admit they have put forward very convincing statements. Far better than the medics ever gave when convincing me that I needed to take epilepsy medication. I hate to say it, the research supporting the use of steroids is stronger than that supporting epilepsy medication.  Certain steroids were originally developed by the same parent company that makes my epilepsy medications – hence they went through similar safety tests during development.

I DO NOT say that steroids are safe to use or that because they have fewer side effects that prescribed drugs, then it’s OK to use them. If I want to make any statement it’s that the symptom cycle associated with chronic illness worsens when ANY drug interferes with it – be it prescribed or not.  At this moment, I feel that I need to get ALL of these things out of me, in order to give my body a chance to repair itself and then start to work again.

I also want to point out that the people that talked to me about steroids did so at my invite and I am grateful for their honesty and non-judgemental approach. At no time did anyone try to ‘push’ anything on me. The biggest surprise came on Sunday when a guy at the gym sat me down and just quietly pointed out everyone in the place that WAS using steroids – I was astounded.  Not just the 20-year old crowd: no way! And a large number of people were included. This is at a local YMCA gym that I guess is a fraction of the size of the gyms you guys have in the USA. This is in commuter-belt Surrey and included people that worked in the police, in education, finance etc etc.  This is in a small health-related fitness facility with very limited, basic equipment aimed at the beginner market. And a large number of people there are juicing…

In my current situation, I have serious concerns about my psychological reaction to steroids. The most disturbing effects of the epilepsy drugs were psychological and I wouldn’t want to place the uncertainty of the steroids’ side effects alongside the ones for the epilepsy drugs – it is just too much of a risk, at this time. I suspect that it could send the symptom cycle into free-fall.

THIS is what I currently feel is going to improve things: I need a social adjustment in my training. I workout in a gym where I am increasingly seen as the person that will be able to help others/spot them, sort out broken equipment etc. This is wrecking my own training as it decreases my focus (it says a lot about the current management of the gym as well).  I am trying to adapt training systems so that I can use weights without the insurance people banning me from using gyms (this has happened to me – I have been turned away because I have epilepsy). I can’t do this in a place that is trying to rely on me for support.

I need to find an environment where people let me train so that my only focus is the 45-60 minutes of training that I do and then I go. This certainly doesn’t happen at the moment. For a start, there’s a lot of waiting around for ‘my turn’ on the equipment (it’s busy). Then I have to find somebody to spot for me – inevitably I end up ‘joining in’ with them and this has happened a lot with bench pressing and shoulder pressing. These two muscle groups have suffered badly this year, and it just goes to show that the whole approach needs to change.

Today I have found another gym, dedicated to bodybuilding/powerlifting: it’s a long way from where I live (it’s two towns away). It’s in a place called Guildford and hence the time/cost of getting there is going to be a nightmare for someone with mobility and income issues at the moment.. BUT it could offer me an environment with the equipment (yes- it has a hyperextension bench and a T bar row- yee ha!) Most importantly, the manager (a guy called Russell) there is trying to do everything he can to help me get through the red tape that prevents me from using those gym facilities so I could train there. What a star.

P.S. Last week I was even turned away by the UK’s ‘Inclusive Fitness Initiative’ – who train instructors to teach people with disabilities. I am a fitness instructor: I have actually been a tutor for trainee fitness instructors and an assessor at their exams at the UK’s top sport university. Despite that, they won’t let me on to their training course because I have epilepsy.