teenyGreen’s BodyBlog

…Back to eating clean.  I didn’t pay attention to my diet for 3 days.  I imagine I have consumed two bags of candy.  I feel so lethargic and crappy.  I’ve four weeks to tone up a little bit, to work on my portfolio.  It would also help to look a bit more tone for work too.  My diet will consist of chicken breast, turkey, egg whites, maybe other lean meats, rice, dosa (fermented rice and bean crepes—like a gluten free tortilla), yams, green stuff, green apples, nuts, fish oil, CLA, and whatever else I deem dairy and gluten free and clean.

I get asked so many times, when I’m out with my daughters, “Are these your kids?”  I have thought people asked me this, because they are ignorant and think, because my children have white skin, I couldn’t possibly be there mother.  I’m starting to believe the case is more I don’t look like a mommy.  At least not like the mommies I’ve seen lately.  See I have been a bit of a loner.  I don’t go to Mother’s groups.  I don’t try to make new friends.  I spend a lot of time on my computer.  I usually don’t take the kids to do many things that require me to socialize.  But now that they are preschool age, I actually have to talk to other mothers and acknowledge their existence.  It’s hard.  I frequent the library which is full of mothers and their children.  I have mothers to chat with in between my children’s music class.  I just don’t seem to have anything in common with the mothers hanging around there.  I’m thinking of getting my gym membership early so maybe I can meet some moms that exercise.  Even then I expect they will be skinny fat, cardio bunnies.  Those are really the only women I see at the gym.  There was one time I saw another woman using barbells and plate loading machines in the “dude” section.  She had to have been a competitor.  I was jealous of her abs.  I’ve been there, so I don’t want to judge those women.  What makes ordinary women let themselves go for the sake of their children?  I realize now I exercise and keep myself healthy and young for the sake of my children.

 I hate small talk.  It has really been a test for me to have to deal with these women on a weekly basis.  They can be so trivial, so gossipy; omg this high school again.  There is even a popular clique.  They are all dressed in great trendy mom clothes—tight long tees, Capri cargo pants, strappy sandals, and pastel makeup.  I guess I’m the nerd.  I am wearing denim skirts, tang tops, glasses, and no makeup.  My avatar is the perfect example of how I look on an average day.  I think they talk about me.  When I walk up the subject is changed.  I also have caught women looking at me and laughing.  I feel like a white iris among a field of wilting purple ones.  If I get one more bitch asking me what my husband does, or were I live, I will go postal.  I figure I can do three things, 1. Go postal. 2. Make myself more of an outsider by talking about things I actually enjoy, like bodybuilding, running, and foreign exchange markets. 3. Ignore everyone like I did in high school, dress weird, and bitch about what bitches they are. (What a great realization just one week before my 10 year high school reunion.  I’m not going, but I will celebrate the milestone, by going to a bb show that night.)  I’ll go with number 2. At least if I am myself, I won’t hate myself for doing the same phoney “how are you?” conversations. 

I’m still sick.  Can you believe it?  I think it’s been 5 weeks.  Last night’s workout busted my balls.  I must be feeling weak.  Light weeks in the past have been much easier.

squat warm up 111lbs 2/10

111lbs 4/5 fast reps

calf raise 111lbs 4/10

leg curl 44lbs 3/5 fast reps

leg extension 55lbs 3/5

SLDL 89lbs 4/5

I ate yesterday.  Hopefully, I can keep this up.  Maybe then I can add in more protein, so I won’t starve my muscles.  I don’t know what they are doing.  I am getting low calories and very little protein.

M1 2 soy blueberry waffles w syrup

M2 V8 and rice cakes

M3 chicken and yam

M4 fruit smoothie

M5 pork and potato

M6 2 soy waffles and potato

4-10
I guess the low amounts of food and tons of water are not so bad.  It’s a lot easier when I eat some sweet potato with everything.  Thursday and Friday will suck, low water and no carbs.  I just keep thinking of chocolate chip pancakes Saturday morning and an ultimate cheese burger.  I was trying to find a package of dove minitures.  Couldn’t find them anywhere…wtf.  I have to get some by Friday.  that’s the only thing that is keeping me going.  Training was great yesterday. I was at the gym for just 2 hours which was a nice change.  I only did upper body
4 sets 30 reps

1. Cable crossovers 25lbs
2. Tri push down with ropes 20lbs
   
3. Lat pulldown close grip 50/40
   
4. Tricep kickbacks 10lbs
   
5. Preacher curls 25 lbs
   
6. shoulder lateral raise yellow bands
   

elliptical 40min
 

Today I will do lower body in two sessions

1. SLDL
2. sissy squats
3. Leg curls
4. Leg extention

5. Abductor
6. Adductor
7. seated calf
8. butt push
9. Hanging leg raises bw
10. decline reverse crunches

elliptical 30 minutes

I’m less motivated about the show.  I’m not sure why.  I have the training and the diet down.  I’m on auto pilot, but I’m not very motivated to do the last minute crap for the show.  Hopefully, that will change.

Meal 1 oats and chicken

Meal 2 tater and chicken

Meal 3 tater and chicken, almonds

Meal 4 tater and chicken

Meal 5 apple, tater, and chicken

Meal 6 oats and chicken

Totals 1691 cals, 19 fat, 219 carbs, and 172 pro.  I may have to figure out 8 grams of protein.  I don’t want to fall to short from 180.  I’m so tired. I  really don’t want to go practice posing.  I know John makes me work so hard.

Still love the workout.  I just need to move faster.  I didn’t have time for seated calves.  Oh well.

4 sets 25 reps

1. Cable crossovers 25lbs
2. Single arm cable lat raise  superset w/#3
3. Tri push down with ropes 20lbs
4. Tri kickbacks 10lbs superset w/#5
5. Preacher curls single 25lbs
6. Lat pulldown 40/70/85/70
7. SLDL 60lbs
8. Leg curls 30lbs superset w/ #9 and #10
9. Abductor 60lbs
10. Adductor 80lbs
11. Hanging leg raises bw

Okay, I’m surprised I am able to sit and type still, after yesterday’s workout.  My goodness, that was hard.  It’s what I needed, but how the hell am I going to be able to do that everyday.  I’m going to have to superset more of the exercises.  Bobby went with me.  He’s so good at the pt thing.  I hope he opens up a gym for me to go too.  Btw, I’m back in the gym scene.  My set up has helped me get to here, but I need some machines at the gym to fine tune everything.  It was awesome having a mirror while I workout.  I guess I’m starting to see what everyone else sees.  Also I’m the same size I was in high school.  As far as inches and clothes, I have more muscle and look better now I think.  I used to think I would never get back to that size, but I kept many of my high school clothes to torture myself.  Guess that’s good, I won’t have to go shopping while I continue to cut.  Bobby said I will probably drop another 8 pounds mostly all water maybe 3 fats.  In two weeks, damn. 

Meal 1 CLA, sweet tater and chicken

Meal 2 CLA, sweet tater and chicken

Meal 3 apple and chicken

Meal 4 oats and chicken

Meal 5 brown rice, chicken, and veggies

Meal 6 chicken and peppers

1729 cals, 13 grams fat, 215 grams carbs, and 195 protein.  I did too much on the protein.  I have to stick around 180.  I lost track of my macros, because we went out for a friend’s birthday.  I found clean food at Samurai Sams.  They grill the chicken and you can request chicken that wasn’t marinated in their sauce.  It was tasty.  I think I’ll boil the chicken and then grill.  Maybe that will be more palatable.  It’s just hard eating so much chicken; turkey is starting to sound real good. 

I would love to just have 15 minutes where I don’t get pissed on, or sit in pee, or step in pee.  I am so sick of eating and planning my diet, and so are my kids.  They are being li’l “bas-tards”.  Anywho, I am so happy I get to eat 4ounces less of chicken today.  Woo who…I need to stop being lazy and find out were I can get some cheap ground turkey.  I’m not a fan of turkey cutlets.  I also don’t want to cook a turkey, Thanksgiving style.  I think I can do a ground patty.  I’ll pretend it’s a burger.  I cut my hair pretty short for me.  My husband’s is pissed.  I love that he thinks he has a say in my appearance.  I don’t have much of a say for him.  He usually doesn’t do want I would like him to do, but he will change his clothes if I think he looks tacky.  I appreciate that.  Even if I’m not with him I want him to look good.  I don’t want people at his work talking about me letting him leave the house wrinkly and uncoordinated.  Anyway, I was sick of my back pic.  So this pic is very temporary.  I want a good picture for my avatar.  Other people have really cool pics and mine are lame. 

Meal 1 oats and chicken

Meal 2 rice and chicken

Meal 3 apple, chicken, salad, and almonds

Meal 4 oats and chicken

Meal 5 chicken and rice

Meal 6 rice and chicken

Totals 1734 cals, fat 20 grams, 221 for carb grams, and 179 for protein grams.  I’m trying to get perfect numbers, less than 20 for fat, 220 for carbs, and 180 for protein.  I’m going to see John and Robin today.  I was really lazy this week.  I should have gone to their place each day.  It’s just so much work.  I just want to eat, sleep, and workout.  I’ll be more motivated not to be such a shut in when I get some sleep.

Meal 1 chicken and oats

Meal 2 chicken and brown rice

Meal 3 chicken and oats

Meal 4 chicken and brown rice

Meal 5 chicken and brown rice

Meal 6 chicken salad

I’ve been a grade A b.  I feel a little better today.  I have so much to do.  I need to plan.  My oldest daughter was so cute this morning.  We were playing superhero in the mirror, that’s what she calls it when I flex, she’s three.  I did a side pose and was flexing my right shoulder looking at the beautiful vein popping out.  I said to Bree, “Look at mommy’s vein.  Do you see that honey, that’s called vascularity?  Can you say vascularity?”  She’s all “no”.  It made me laugh. 

Meal 1 chicken and oats

Meal 2 chicken, green apple, salad

Meal 3 chicken and brown rice

Meal 4 chicken and broccoli

Meal 5 chicken and broccoli

Meal 6 just plain damn dry shredded chicken

Totals 1277 cals, 16 grams fat, 99 grams of carbs, 189 grams of protein. 

On the pics, I know my arms are off.  I need more practice.  It’s so hard when you’re not in front of a mirror.