teenyGreen’s BodyBlog

I’ve been pissed at my coworkers.  Not all of them, of course I won’t mention names.  I’m just sick of the incompetence.  Sometimes I miss just being a mommy.  If my kids are being bad they go to the "naughty square" or I throw away a toy.   Doesn’t work that way with adults, unfortunately.

Every cloud has a silver lining.  So I went in early today to get my workout in.  I will go twice a day since I am prepping for the April show.  I feel like I’m already ready.  I have some areas to improve lower abs and glutes.  I have 8 weeks.  I don’t even feel like I will have to try.

Today was arm day. I plan on doing some leg stuff with each workout.  This was my workout today:
chin ups bw 4 sets 16/14/12/10

superseted w/

dips bw 4 sets 15/10/10/7

bb curls 50lbs 4 sets 10

superseted w/

tri ext 25lbs 4 sets 10

squats 185 4 sets 12

I must admit when it is written out like this, I feel like a bad a$$. That feels good. That is motivating.

I gotta pick up some chicken and yams.  I must get more chocolate chips.  It makes a great snack mixed with nuts.  Maybe I will do dried fruit.  I’ll see, but I feel pretty good.  Pretty confident.  I just need more money.  Then I could justify buying a new suit.  Maybe I’ll get lucky.

Today was the greatest day ever to lift weights.  I’m in a good mood.  I’ll leave it at that.  But I worked out with a client and dear friend that i love.  She is so strong she makes me work harder.  It’s ridiculous.  We do the same weight and she does 6 to 8 more reps than I.  She is on a different program, but it was fun.  It’s good to have a workout buddy that is strong and in good shape.  I can’t remember everything we did I think:

SLDL 110 4 sets 10reps

high row 110 4 sets 12reps

cable crossovers 30-20lbs 4 sets 10reps

45 degree concentration db curls 20lbs 4 sets 12 reps

The only bummer is I didn’t get much of a pump.  I need to eat more.  I’m sick of food.  I eat while I am working out.  I’ll have a sandwich or nuts and chocolate chips.  But all and all I am coming in nicely.  I look better now than in last year’s show.  So if finances provide, I will do the April INBF show.  I would still like to do June NPC, but again I need money.  I’m doing better.  I have a few independent clients.  Yeah!

I get so many compliments about my back at work.  I don’t really pay attention.  I know how my back typically looks when it’s ripped.  I’m always telling my clients to take pictures of their backs.  It’s a neglected bodypart that you rarely see.  Often it looks very defined before other bodyparts look toned.  So today I took some more back pics.  I love my back.

It’s almost ridiculous.  This is today.  The lower pic is from today too.  It looks a bit different from my normal lat spreads.  I think it’s the camera angle.

This pic below was from last month.  I can’t believe my body is still responding to weight lifting.  I keep expecting a plateau.  I guess I’m that good.

…and that’s all, but it’s so hard loving you.
I love the Beatles.  I’ve been listening to them a lot more lately.  A friend reminded me of an old song I love.   Thx You…

I plan on going out with the girls sometimes this weekend.  I need a break gahd.  I want a vacation.  But a night out will do.  I haven’t written in over a week.  I just haven’t had the will.  My life is crumbling around me.  I’m just trying to tread water.  I just need to get through.  Maybe competing in April will help distract me, and give me a goal to work on myself.  I have almost achieved all of my independent goals in therapy.  I still have a long way to go in my relationship, but I’m hopeful.  Today I plan on doing cardio.  I’ll probably hit the stairclimber.  I did shoulders and back yesterday

wide pull up assited -25lbs 3 sets 8

one set unassited 10reps

lat pulldown 100/10 100/8 95/8 90/8

bb bent over row rev grip 80lbs 4sets 8

upright row 55lbs 4sets 8

standing Db shoulder press alt grip 25lbs 4 sets 8

db rear delt flys  12lbs 4 sets 8

Afterwards, I had a nice steam, then spa, then sauna.  It felt so good.

My workout:

cable crossovers 40lbs 4 sets 20 reps

tri kickbacks 15lbs 4 sets 12 reps

tri rope pulldown 30 4 sets 15 reps

lat pulldown 62.5lbs 4 sets 12 reps

preacher curls 45lbs 4 sets 12 reps

dips bw 3 sets 10 reps

Some day I might take the time to use the workout tracker.  I didn’t have a real "plan" for my workout today.  It’s kind of hard to stick to a plan. I do my workouts on the fly when I’m not training people.  I often don’t know how long I have to workout.  But it’s working for me.

I woke up at 3:30 this morning.  I ate a ham, brown rice sandwich, and have been cleaning since.  It’s around 6:30 my time.  I’m still not finished.

"Father’s work from dawn to setting sun, but a mother’s work is never done."

My husband has been pitching in a lot, for him.  It’s just not enough.  I feel worn out already and I haven’t lifted yet.  My hamstrings are still deliciously sore from Thursday.  I did 45 degree walking lunges with 40lbs, hack squats with bw, and deadlifts at 115.  I did my normal four sets 8-10 reps.  Yesterday, I took it easy and did abs, took a nice long steam, and hit the spa.  It felt so good.

I’ve been in a pissy mood lately.  I’m a bit sensitive today, maybe I’m getting my period soon.  So I took my frustrations out on the online world, because irl you have to have to face the consequences of what you say or write.  It’s unfortunate that you can never really take something back once you say it.  It is even worse when your online world interferes with real life.  But no one really cares on the internet.

It’s lame on my part.  I can’t connect with people.  I’m finding out it has a lot to do with my relationship with my father.  I have "friends" irl, but they are just people I go do things with or talk about work with.  I don’t even talk to my "real life" friends about religion, politics, and sex.  But the internet is so safe, it’s not confrontational imo.  You don’t like what someone has to say you can ignore them, insult them, or switch to a different website.  It’s very likely in a few days they will forget who you are anyway.

I was going to write how I feel about my life and what’s going on in it now, because the internet is so lovely and anonymous.  But I can’t let myself be vulnerable.  I can’t cry in front of anyone.  I can’t tell people I care about, how I truly feel.  I can’t tell someone when they hurt me.  I’m a rock.  That’s what my daddy taught me.  I’m afraid if I don’t say how I feel; I will lose him.  If I do say how I feel; I fear I’ll lose him too.

Once again I have lost focus.  I workout, I eat, but I don’t keep track, and I don’t have a goal.  Right now I just lift when I have time, and I work what isn’t sore.  I would like to hit my hams and glutes twice a week.  It’s hard for me to get a workout in at my gym.  People come over and talk to me.  It’s so annoying.  I am used to being the type of gym member that wears headphones and doesn’t smile.  But since I work at my gym, I know everyone there.  Don’t people realize working out and talking don’t mix.

So goals…I wanted to compete in the Spring.  That won’t happen.  I was thinking of the summer shows too, but I think I will need to wait for the Fall.  My calf is messed up.  I will probably need more surgery.  I plan to stay lean, put on some more muscle, and eat more.