Mosaic’s Journal

This is what my husband told me,  I looked at him and said shut up.  I woke up this morning and my legs felt like jelly.  After running for an hour with my kids I wanted to atleast work on the upper body with no cardio.  I looked outside and saw lots of snow coming down.  Ya know this sista does not do snow nor the cold.  I have decided to work out in the home doing push ups and abs.  Nothing to major, but if the snow lets up in a few hours, then I will make my way to the gym and just zone out……..

Yea I finally got out of the house this morning.  I was planning on working out and doing an hour of cardio and weights.  But my plans changed, my kids wanted to join me, so I decided to take them and see where it goes.  I left my boys in the gym and went upstairs to use the track.  I was walking at a good pace, warmed up my knees doing lunges, squats, steps and stuff like that.  I notice to my right my kids were there looking at me.  They wanted to race me.  I don’t like to run, I still have it in my head that I am going to blow my knee out.  I told them I would race them and we found a starting point and off we went.  My youngest one took off leaving me in the dust.  I was just jogging at my pace, I’m still on my first lap then I saw my youngest one started on his 2nd lap.  He passed me, turned around and started to run backwards taunting me to keep up.  So I sprinted as fast as I could, even though I lost the race it was so fun to do that with my son.  Next time I will wear a sports bra and hope like hell I don’t hit myself in the face again….haha

I have been here for a year now.  Now don’t get me wrong, but I have not seen anyone being feature that is on the heavy side, just the ones who are thin and showing skin.  Now I give props when its due if they work hard on it and want to show it off.  But for real some of the girls I see are almost what I consider soft core porn pics.  I would love to see someone feature who is working hard and it shows.  Someone who was once heavy and now is almost at there goal.  That right there would be a great motivation for someone who is in the funk and and say to themselves, " if they could do it so can I".  I have been traing hard for a year now and only manage to lose 5 lbs.  That right there is my own fault for not eating clean.  But If someone is feature who just ate clean and lost a fair amount of weight, that right there would motivate me more to reach my goal…….

Yesterday I was in this site’s chat room.  I go there to bullshit, and let my hair down.  But yesterday was different, there was a person by the name of "sandman".  He wanted to know what I look like so I told him how to get to my bodyspace page.  I am not shy when it comes to my body.  He saw it and then insulted me, base on my looks and my body.  I was very hurt, I worked my ass off for a year and manage to lose 5 lbs.  I wanted to grab that left over pizza and just eat and eat.  I wanted to cry, most of all I wanted to wring that little pricks neck.  How dare he do this to me.   Sometimes one bad apple ruins the bunch, and I wanted or even thought about taking the easy road and have the bypass surgery.  But I won’t, I got myself into this and I will get myself out, even if it takes me years to do it.  For those who like to make fun of people like myself trying to make a differance in ours likes…..**** YOU.

Does not having any estrogen effect weightloss? 

Yep I took one look outside and said to myself, oh hell naw.  I don’t do cold or ice, this will be the 3rd day not going to the gym, but I did work out in the home.  If I had a snow shovel my cardio would have been snow removal, oh well…

I have not worked out since friday and I was in need for a break.  My abs where so sore it hurt to cough.  Yesterday I got my 5th tattoo, it hurt like hell!  The area is still swollen and tender to the touch.  I found this artist on the internet and interview 2 or 3 shops before I decided he is the one.  It took him 2 hours from start to finish, I wanted this tatt near my knee scar to draw the eye away from it.  We both agree not to tattoo the scar cause it may tear during the process.

My abs are still hurting from yesterday atleast the upper ones are.  I did lower abs and push ups, I did not go to the gym today due to snow.  I will not drive on snow or let alone go outside when its cold.  I wanted to do some cardio but doing jumping jacks either give me 2 black eyes, or a concusstion.

I woke up this morning to 2 inches of white fluffy stuff out my door.  I don’t drive in the snow at all unless I have to no matter how deep it is.  So I decided until the snow is gone to work out some at home.  No cardio, but did what I could with out using weights.  I did some abs, even though I am still sore from the other day.  Tomorrow upper body…..

Today is everything from the waste up including abs.  I did 30 mins of cardio and worked alot on my arms, abs, chest, and back.  I am feeling pretty good despite I have not done upper body in a long time.  I thought I had to start from the bottom and work my way back up again.  But I found it way to easy and started where I left off.  I did not lose any strength, but gained some size in flab….YUCK!  

Tomorrow, abs, and everything below the waste……cheers