tannie64’s BodyBlog

Ok I don’t do good on weekends in fact I think I ruin all my hard work I do durning the week but that’s something only I can fix. To be honest I think what happens is there is so much going on I just get lazy but I did go cloths shopping again on sunday and I now know why I get so unhappy about my weight and it’s not even really the weight it’s the losse skin I have. As I was trying on cloths even my daughter said to me mom you have worked so hard to get the weight off but you have losse skin around your middle and that is where I find I get depressed about. I fit into size 6 and even some 4’s thing is the 6’s are to big but the 4’s fit but because of my losse skin I end up with a muffin top and it just looks so bad I want to cry. Now as I write this this morning I wonder how do people do this everyday all the time the clean eating I just don’t get how they do it. I enjoy the taste of my food it’s not that I don’t want to eat clean I just don’t understand I guess what clean means. I want a nice body and what to eat good but I want to enjoy and like the food I eat plus doing all this I don’t want all the losse skin because what’s the sence of losing weight if I am only going to have a flabby body and still feel terrible about it. 

Well we had family over and as the norm I over ate and no exercise. I got up this morning and get to eating the good foods again. But still I am not happy with myself but that is more of a self image problem something I have a hard time with. Funny thing is everyone tells me I am small and when I try on clothes I fit into a size 6 pant and s/m shirts. But I have alot of losse skin and I feel like my skin is to big for my body. I think as I try on clothes if I could only cut the extra skin away I would be happy. But I also know this takes time but when you see the muscle under all the fat and losse skin it just make me wonder if I will ever get even some of the body I would like to see. But in the end I know I have to suck it up and keep going there are worse things that I could have to deal with and part of my mind knows this but then there is the other part that wants to be like the little kid and throw a fit and have things go the way I want right now. I am not a kid so it’s back to doing what I have to and things will work out.

Well the week went well I worked out all week the only day I didn’t do any cardio was today I was just to beat and know I would not get much of a heart felt workout. So I did chest, back and shoulders for about 40 mins. The weekend is a hard time to get in a workout but I will make sure to do something. Tonight now I am sitting here watching TV and this is not something I do much of but I am watching the story of Farrah Fawcatt battle with cancer and I think it has made me feel even more so that I want to keep at this so I can be healthy and when the day comes that it’s my time I want to know I did my best to be my best.

Today I went to the gym after work and tonight I am tired sore but feeling great. I had a good workout even if I only did 25 mins of cardio I worked it hard. Did my tri’s and bicepts so tomorrow will be back and chest. This morning I took pics of myself in these shorts I am going to us as my meter for my weight loss. I do fit in them but you can see the muffin top and the wide butt and I would like to look really good in them. I will try and take pics every 2 weeks to see if there are any changes. One thing I did see was that my back is getting a bit of muscle nothing major but it’s there. My problem area is my spare tire it’s like all around from my love handles  to my tummy there is this tire there I would just like to see it get awhole lot smaller.

Ok yesterday I didn’t get to go to the gym so I wanted to do something and I went looking and remerbered Jamie Eason card workout but had no cards but I did 2 sets of 15 of the exercise she has wrote on her own personal site. Then in the evening I went for a walk jog for 30 mins. But today I will get to the gym I didn’t think I was going to because I was to have an appointment after work but it was cancled. My only problem is I have depression and yes I take meds for it but sometimes I can still feel the creep of depression and I am working hard to not let it get to me. I want so bad to keep up on my exercise and eating. I know my eating isn’t great but I would say it’s not bad either. I know I will never be a 100% clean eater but I am ok with that since I never plan on doing a contest.

I am going to work hard so I vamped up my cardio from 30 mins to 45 mins 4 to 5 day and will be lifting weights 3 maybe 4 days a week. Tomorrow will be a bit hard because I won’t get to the gym but I am going to try to do something here at home. I just hope what I am doing is right in order to lose some of this fat. I am eating better and drinking more water. I read different thing on what you should do but there is so much info out there and it gets confusing. So I am just doing the best I can as I go I will try to see what is working and what isn’t. Anyone that has good advice just leave me a comment.

Watch for the smoke I am vamping up my cardio on the treadmill I am doing 45 mins hope it helps burn some of this fat off. Plus I am going to try and not weight myself untill the end of this month I hope I can do that. It’s hard because I want to see where I am but if I lose or gain it can set the mood and I want my mood to stay high so I am going to stay off the scale. I will do my measurments on the 22nd of this month to see if there is any change. So here goes a great month.

I am going on vacation the weekend of the 4th of July to the beach and what to look good. I nned to lose fat so can anyone tell me what I should do more of to lose the fat cardio or lift heavy weights I am think both but should I do one more then the other if anyone has any in put please let me know. I know I will have to eat a clean diet along with everything else and no I am not looking for a magic pill just a bit of advice.

This week I have been sick and doing nothing but feeling sorry for myself I guess you could say crying in my beer as the old saying goes (no I don’t really drink). I gained all that I had lost because of over eating when I feel sick I tended to do that thinking it will make me feel better. Well now all I feel is worse because I am starting over again. There is more to the story but it’s time to suck it up and get myself in gear, my big problem is I put pity in front and let it take over. Where does it get me and what does it get me nothing so I am going to get my butt to the gym tonight and have a good workout and work through this self-pity I have put around me. I know no one can do this for me but I hope at some point I will be able to affored a trainer to help me along the way but for now I have to do this on my own. So wish me luck and I hope to see myself on the other side.

Well yesterday I almost passed out at work why I am not sure but I am not feeling to well today so there was no gym for me yesterday and not to sure if I will do anything today. I hate being set back on this. I ate good yesterday but maybe not enough but got in over 1200 cals so I guess that’s not to bad. I have a question to ask I hate drinking water for 2 reasons 1 because I drink even an ounce and I have to run to the bathroom 10 times and 2 I hate drinking cold water at times because it just makes me feel so cold after I know the first problem will not go away but is it ok to drink warm water? I know might be a dumb question but I have read you should drink ice cold water to help you lose weight.