tannie64’s BodyBlog

Last night wrote about being tired and lazy well I was really tired because I slept through everything that happens in my home from my kid coming home to the BF leaving this morning to go to the gym. Now mind you I can’t remerber the last time I slept that sound I hear everything that goes on and wake up at least a dozen times at night. Now if I could only sleep like this all the time I think my energy level would go up. Mind you I did slepp like this at one time in my life every night but once I hit about 35 things started to change I watched my energy level go down. I hope someday this changes again. All I know is sleep is the most imporent part of who you are and what you can do throught out the day. Sleep does a body good.

I didn’t go to the gym tonight I was tired and just felt lazy These nexts 2 weeks will be hard for me since it’s 2 weeks before TOM visits and my lack of energy hits a low. The gym I know will be a hit and miss thing but I am trying to eat good so maybe things won’t be to bad. Guys have no idea how lucky they are not to have to deal with this.

Well I didn’t do so good food wise I bought to many goodies and of course had to try them all but what the heck it’s a new week and I will get back to work at the gym that is. Because even with all the food I ate I also did a lot of outside work but no not enough to make up for all I ate. Bt I also can’t wait till my P90x comes in I hope it doesn’t take to long. I am kind of excited about trying it. I am going to really try to eat clean this week so by the time my P90x comes in I will feel not so bloated and I would like to give this a good try. Well once it comes I want to really give the 90 days a great try but the only time I will slack off is when I go on my vacation. Anyway I will see once I get it and look things over.

I ordered P90X and can’t wait to try it out I am hoping it will give me some edge on the right ways of working out so I can see more muscle. I am seeing some progress but I am not always sure if I am doing the exercises right. This weekend I am enjoying the foods but not over doing it and I did get on the scale this morning and I am staying the same which I am happy about. At this stage I am just trying to see what is going to work for me and not be uptight with myself because I find when I make it a big deal and thing I have to do this or that I end up hating the whole thing because I feel limited. I just what this to be fun and the minute it becomes work I end up hating it. I guess it’s all for me a mind set and as long as I set my mind to this is something I enjoy doing to feel and look good I stick to it. So here’s to having fun. 

I didn’t lose anything and I know I wouldn’t but I can see things getting tighter and some shape. This morning I did JM 30 day shred video I wanted to do something this morning instead of just sitting here and tonight I hope to go to the gym after work. But I can’t wait till the end of the day so the weekend can begin.

Well this morning I took a few pics there was a bit of change but nothing big. It’s ok though because I am feeling thighter and will keep going. I am not doing as much cardio but trying to keep my heart rate where it needs to be to burn fat. I find that going to the gym 4 days a week is whats best for me I need my rest in between or I just get  way to tired out. As of now I am feeling good and hope to see some changes as the summer goes by.

Ok I don’t do good on weekends in fact I think I ruin all my hard work I do durning the week but that’s something only I can fix. To be honest I think what happens is there is so much going on I just get lazy but I did go cloths shopping again on sunday and I now know why I get so unhappy about my weight and it’s not even really the weight it’s the losse skin I have. As I was trying on cloths even my daughter said to me mom you have worked so hard to get the weight off but you have losse skin around your middle and that is where I find I get depressed about. I fit into size 6 and even some 4’s thing is the 6’s are to big but the 4’s fit but because of my losse skin I end up with a muffin top and it just looks so bad I want to cry. Now as I write this this morning I wonder how do people do this everyday all the time the clean eating I just don’t get how they do it. I enjoy the taste of my food it’s not that I don’t want to eat clean I just don’t understand I guess what clean means. I want a nice body and what to eat good but I want to enjoy and like the food I eat plus doing all this I don’t want all the losse skin because what’s the sence of losing weight if I am only going to have a flabby body and still feel terrible about it. 

Well we had family over and as the norm I over ate and no exercise. I got up this morning and get to eating the good foods again. But still I am not happy with myself but that is more of a self image problem something I have a hard time with. Funny thing is everyone tells me I am small and when I try on clothes I fit into a size 6 pant and s/m shirts. But I have alot of losse skin and I feel like my skin is to big for my body. I think as I try on clothes if I could only cut the extra skin away I would be happy. But I also know this takes time but when you see the muscle under all the fat and losse skin it just make me wonder if I will ever get even some of the body I would like to see. But in the end I know I have to suck it up and keep going there are worse things that I could have to deal with and part of my mind knows this but then there is the other part that wants to be like the little kid and throw a fit and have things go the way I want right now. I am not a kid so it’s back to doing what I have to and things will work out.

Well the week went well I worked out all week the only day I didn’t do any cardio was today I was just to beat and know I would not get much of a heart felt workout. So I did chest, back and shoulders for about 40 mins. The weekend is a hard time to get in a workout but I will make sure to do something. Tonight now I am sitting here watching TV and this is not something I do much of but I am watching the story of Farrah Fawcatt battle with cancer and I think it has made me feel even more so that I want to keep at this so I can be healthy and when the day comes that it’s my time I want to know I did my best to be my best.

Today I went to the gym after work and tonight I am tired sore but feeling great. I had a good workout even if I only did 25 mins of cardio I worked it hard. Did my tri’s and bicepts so tomorrow will be back and chest. This morning I took pics of myself in these shorts I am going to us as my meter for my weight loss. I do fit in them but you can see the muffin top and the wide butt and I would like to look really good in them. I will try and take pics every 2 weeks to see if there are any changes. One thing I did see was that my back is getting a bit of muscle nothing major but it’s there. My problem area is my spare tire it’s like all around from my love handles  to my tummy there is this tire there I would just like to see it get awhole lot smaller.