Here’s to (JE)Mi!

Forgive me BodySpace, for I have sinned.

For the entire month of September, I have slipped into horrendous eating behaviors.  I HAVE been working out so I didn’t gain weight.  In fact, I’m looking ok however I’m not feeling as great as I did when I ate properly.

My classes, my obligations, whoa.  I went from having free days to catching up on my sleep on weekends.  I am thriving though with the new schedule.  I don’t feel as depressed as I used to.

I do have a new goal though.  Yesterday I went into that fridge of mine and cleaned up shop.  The right foods are back in.

This year, Dec 22, it would have been my husband’s 24th birthday.  I can’t believe the time sped the way it did.  I will most likely be with his family that day.  My goal is to wear something special that day in my notably fitter body and take a bunch of pictures with the family.  That day means alot to me.  Its right before Christmas.  The first year we were together, he came to visit during those days.. I was the happiest woman on earth.  New Years, he proposed.

I can’t get those days back..

But in my own way, I want to spend his day with him, feeling just as beautiful as I did when he was alive.

I gave this alot of thought.  I don’t want another year to end with me wishing I looked different.

There are also alot of contingencies in the air .. thats a whole other blog post.  Anyway that’s where I’m at.

I don’t care how tough this gets.  To date, I’ve survived some real bullsh*t.  I need this.

Stay tuned

I just have to share with anyone who reads this that I slipped into a new Nike tee this morning.  I bought it a few weeks ago and it was definitely .. snug.. and uncomfortable. And obvious. But I wanted it anyway.  So I bought it.

This morning I wanted a clean top so I saw this one and threw it on.. and then I realized

It fit perfectly.

IT FIT PERFECTLY!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you can’t tell, I am quite excited about this bit of news.  I thought I was the one human being exempt from the blessings of change for a moment.

I am on the right track!  YAHOOO!!!

*grin*

Now I’m taking my sexy self to the gym before class.  LOL later!

I just taught an intense kickboxing class and I tell you what.  I can see myself doing this kind of thing for a long time.  I really love it.  I love pushing the students to do their best, I love working hard, I love the intensity… I love shouting at a whole group of people lol

My ab class was pretty successful too   They all left saying it was really intense but fun and it felt good to hear that.  All I could think about is "how do I get better"

I really care about the quality of all that I do. Maybe thats why I get so frustrated with me body for not looking the way I expect it to.

I’m thinking I need a more intense regimen in the weight room.  I can handle it and plus I don’t know if I’m in a plateau or what but I want to be the shrinking instructor that looks different by the end of the semester

Honestly?  My dream?

To start 2009 with a completely different body.

I don’t want another year to begin with "this time I’ll do it"

I want an "I did it!"

I’m no slacker and I KNOW this can happen for me.  I just need to fill in the blank.  What am I missing?

Just so you know - my regimen looks like this now

Mondays - upper body workout, 45 min boxing drills, 20 min run.  Instruct 30 min ab class
Tuesday - Instruct 1 hr kickboxing, 30 min abs

Wed.  - lower body workout, 45 min boxing drills, 20 min run

Thursday - HIIT on Elliptical 30 min

Friday - upper body workout, 45 min boxing drills, 20 min run

Saturday - 1-1.5 hr cardio machines

Sunday - rest.

Thats what I do.  And I just started low carbing again.. I’m feeling fine.  No weakness or any of that so perhaps by the end of next week I should be loving my reflection <3

Not that I don’t love it now

The mystery that is my body.  Anyway, gotta get back to studying!

I’m over at mom’s house but she’s going to work tonight so it’s just me and the net.  Ok and my Chemistry assignment due at 3 AM.  But I’m here trying to work through a few frustrations.  I find that my biggest roadblock is myself and my self perception.  I can’t honestly tell you if I’ve been great with the dieting because to be honest with you, I feel like I’m always dieting.  I don’t have much to show for it and that makes me sad.

I’ve been feeling pretty lethargic lately and I don’t know what that’s due to.  My body doesn’t feel right .. I’m feeling out of touch.  Perhaps the new course load I’m tackling and the new schedule.. I guess I’m not paying much attention. 

 I sometimes even feel hesitant to write here (even though I get nothing but support) because I am not yet proclaiming "I DID IT!"

Perhaps writing as usual will keep me in touch with whats going on. 

I really do want to feel good and begin helping other reach their own goals. 

Mental roadblocks.  Ditto.

Oh boy.  Where do I begin?

College has officially begun again and I am overwhelmed with the amount of things I need to organize in order to execute all the things I want to .. successfully.  Time management is not a strong suite but like everything else, I am strengthening those skills.  Let’s see.  I am a commuter student taking pre-med classes at a very large university.  I work as an intern in the Wellness office and I teach a few ab classes and a kickboxing class every week.

About those classes, this week was the first week I taught and I daresay it was a success!  The kickboxing class was FULL.  Good thing I’m not that shy   My mic wasn’t working and I had all these expectant eyes watching me.  Just so you know, they all heard me just fine   Yes, I can get loud.  Boy did I make them work.  I do want to be one of the best classes the school has to offer so I am stepping my own game up in the gym and will crank those ideas into my classes.

My weight loss.. that isn’t the slamming success I thought it would be and its definitely because of my nutrition.  I’m not eating enough? Now it’s tougher to stay on schedule because I am traveling back and forth all day around that huge campus.  I am going to have to make use of those little coolers huh..

I’ll be posting some pics at the end of the month.  I’m not stepping on the scale until then too.

I’ve got a lot on my plate but I’m feeling really good about life

I’ll keep ya posted!

I’m headed to the gym but wanted to leave a quick blurb before I left.  I *have* to workout in the mornings now.  Yesterday I didn’t and by the time I came home from school, I never made it back out of my house.  My body screamed.. every muscle I own.  I can tell I’ve been working really hard.  Of course I can’t wait til the mirror catches on.

In the meantime, my two top priorities are school and my weight.  That’s it.

I’ve been eating well so I’m happy about that. 

Ok I’ve gotta run out of here before I go back to sleep or something lol