sweeth4796’s BodyBlog

"always do what you are afraid to do"

Ralph Walso emerson

 If you are afraid of doing anything……….DO IT! Dont be scared to live, dont be scared to make mistakes…most mistakes can be fixed or at least learned from!

"Fear: False evidence appearing real"

 "Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it…that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear."
Dale Carnegie

I thought the day called for 2 quotes because I have been slacking on posting my usual quotes. Fear is going to be my topic for the next month or 2. Because I have taken my cals up to maintenance and am stayinig there for a while to give myself a rest. For the past 5 years I have been on a diet…..back and forth back and forth…then I decided to do a comp diet. Granted I lost weight but I still dont have the body i want YET. Throughout all this dieting I have developed a very bad relationship with food leading to an eating disorder (under control now). I have never in my life had a normal diet of just enjoying foods. Right now I am trying to take a break with a normal diet and allow myself treats without feeling guilty (which has been my biggest hurtle). I developed this fear that if i ate anything bad i would blow up or gain weight IMMEDIATLEY which was perpetuated by diong no/low carb diets…(you gain 10 pds overngiht and bloat coming off of those things). I have come so far and finally reached my goal weight of 125 pds…that was a lifelong goal…….well…it wasnt the body i had dreamed about…..still had fat and wasnt the nicely toned body had had hoped for. If I truly want to get that body..I have to stop dieting….to gain the muscle I want for the look i want i have to eat MORE. WHich is the biggest fear of all! eating more and getting fat! gaining back the 28 pds (total 45 pds) I have lost! I DONT want to go back. I keep telling myself that If i eat methodically and healthily even cheating 2 x a week. I wont get fat…….its hard though..because my past experiences had shown me i would gain weight. But back then i did not do it methodically…I am now. Soooo my goal here is to conquer my fear of getting fat from eating food. It takes 3500 calories to gain 1 pound. I would have to eat ALOT more than I am eating now to gain a pound. I would have to totally BINGE 1 day a week which aint happening….hahahah so yeah. This next couple months is about conquering my fear and acceptance of myself as I am ;-0 This means no show =-( but thats okay..there are ALWAYS shows around the corner.

"Fear imprisons, faith liberates; fear paralyzes, faith empowers; fear disheartens, faith encourages; fear sickens, faith heals; fear makes useless, faith makes serviceable." Harry Emerson Fosdick

 To move forward I need to face my fears head on. I have a tremendous FEAR of getting fat and/or undoing all the hard work I have accomplished up to this point. I have to let go of fear and take a break from all this dieting. I need my body and mind to heal so that I can move forward and really accomplish my lifelong dream. FEAR has paralyzed me. The only way to overcome fear is to push through it. Truthfully..what is there to fear about gaining a few pounds as long as I am giving my best effort?

Go                            back a little to leap further.
John Clarke

I have decided to take a couple months off and NOT do a show in 2 months. Mentally I am not ready…I have been hardcore dieting for 8 months now….my brain is starting to turn on itself if you know what I mean. Like FEAR of hanging out with friends because I dont want to mess up, fear of going to events because I dont want to mess up..then when i tell myself go and dont mess up..i feel guilty! its a psychological game. If I had to cut myself off from the world for 12 weeks (contest prep) then i could handle it..but 8 MONTHS. You start alienating yourself ya know? I do plan to eat my healthy foods just bring it to maintenance so I am not hungry all the time..which OBIOUSLY will make me feel better AND give me more self control at events. My body isnt really doing what i want it to do…I am looking more "skinny" than toned and I am lifting HEAVY. I need to reasses and regain my brain..hahahaha taking 2 steps back to take 3 steps forward is the name of the game. It is hard to do when I have come so far…but it HAS to be done.

A candle that lights another candle does not lessen or diminish its flame

I was driving past a church and saw this….so profound! When reminds us that when we help raise someone up we lose nothing, we can only gain spirit.

If you’re going through Hell, keep going.

Winston Churchill

That is fureal! I am going through my own personal hell right now but hey……we all make it through to the other side. Just keep going and focusing on better days to come. The seasons do change no matter how long winter feels.

Motivation often FOLLOWS action, rather than precede it.

 That is soo true! Thanks my fellow bodyspacer for that one. I lOVE you guys!

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.

Kenji Miyazawa

I NEED this quote today. I have been feeling "out of it" and just tired I would say almost depressed….maybe its cuz im sick (and I NEVER get sick) or maybe its because I was drunk 3 days last week and Im paying the piper now. Either way I am going to use the way I feel right now to keep on track for my goal.

Fall seven times, stand up eight!

Japanese Proverbs

I am DEFINITLEY in need of a quote today! I went camping this weekend and boy oh boy. I did nothing but shove alcohol and food in my mouth for a full 24 hours! I was impressed with how much I could actually eat and not get stuffed. Who knew!? The guilt is settling in and I feel like a bloated flotation device and like I *uked up all my hard work and screwed my results for the next 2 weeks…….but I gotta pick myself up that 8th time and keep truckin!

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.

Maria Robinson

Everytime I fail or mess up on my diet….I remind myself that today is a new day……to start over =-)