quote of the day
"Fear: False evidence appearing real"
"Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it…that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear."
Dale Carnegie
I thought the day called for 2 quotes because I have been slacking on posting my usual quotes. Fear is going to be my topic for the next month or 2. Because I have taken my cals up to maintenance and am stayinig there for a while to give myself a rest. For the past 5 years I have been on a diet…..back and forth back and forth…then I decided to do a comp diet. Granted I lost weight but I still dont have the body i want YET. Throughout all this dieting I have developed a very bad relationship with food leading to an eating disorder (under control now). I have never in my life had a normal diet of just enjoying foods. Right now I am trying to take a break with a normal diet and allow myself treats without feeling guilty (which has been my biggest hurtle). I developed this fear that if i ate anything bad i would blow up or gain weight IMMEDIATLEY which was perpetuated by diong no/low carb diets…(you gain 10 pds overngiht and bloat coming off of those things). I have come so far and finally reached my goal weight of 125 pds…that was a lifelong goal…….well…it wasnt the body i had dreamed about…..still had fat and wasnt the nicely toned body had had hoped for. If I truly want to get that body..I have to stop dieting….to gain the muscle I want for the look i want i have to eat MORE. WHich is the biggest fear of all! eating more and getting fat! gaining back the 28 pds (total 45 pds) I have lost! I DONT want to go back. I keep telling myself that If i eat methodically and healthily even cheating 2 x a week. I wont get fat…….its hard though..because my past experiences had shown me i would gain weight. But back then i did not do it methodically…I am now. Soooo my goal here is to conquer my fear of getting fat from eating food. It takes 3500 calories to gain 1 pound. I would have to eat ALOT more than I am eating now to gain a pound. I would have to totally BINGE 1 day a week which aint happening….hahahah so yeah. This next couple months is about conquering my fear and acceptance of myself as I am ;-0 This means no show =-( but thats okay..there are ALWAYS shows around the corner.
August 31, 2009 at 11:27 am
Best of luck to you! And it’s okay to cheat once in awhile, I look at it as a reward for all the hours, months and years I’ve put my body in the gym. So, hang in there! The best is yet to come…=)