Grrrrrrrr………….
As I’ve recently hit the 8 week out mark for my competition prep, the past couple of days I’ve been having these nagging paranoid thoughts that I’m too far behind still as compared to this past time (my first) where I came in extremely lean and was ready like a week early! I should have written about this earlier but Im sooo freaking good about stuffing my feelings down until they just get bad and I end up stressing worse rather than dealing with the feelings then….(hence me using this nifty blog deal daily)…soooo I talked about it with my coach Josh and he said for me to take relaxed pics so he can see where I am like we did last time….taking those pics did NOT help with my feelings…..ehhhhh
So right now I’m having a boatload of guilt for eating too much….experimenting around too much with my diet, downing those 6 mini packs of tic tacs earlier (yeah I’m retarded) today at work…..then there comes the money guilt…..cause I’m kinda barely getting by during these months of prep diet, etc…..(but man was it worth it this past time)….so yeah not cool….and since I freaking lifted everyday for a week in a row I had to take yesterday and tonite off (did cardio though) and ALSO its been REALLY hardo to get up in the mornings cause I think the overtraining was starting to set in….good thing I caught in the beginning before I really did something stupid….speaking of stupid I’m having a terrible craving for pizza right now…nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo……….
=0(
