Top 10 ways to spot a SCHMOE on bodyspace
1) Messages all the ladies in the top 6 constantly
2) Looks as if he couldn’t find a weight room, much less lift anything in it
3) Constantly makes small talk with every women who will give him any attention
4) calls every girl "hon" or "babe" or "sweetie" or "insert stupid pet name here"
5) Constantly trying to get anyone in the top 6 on their ‘program’
6) Constantly asked how a girls’ workout went, even though it’s quite obvious they have no idea what it means to workout
7) Anyone with a large amount of body hair who rubs oil on themselves and dons a G-string; wait that’s not a schmoe… that’s just straight up DELUSIONAL!
8) A married man who only has women as his friends and constantly makes small talk with each of them
9) Any man who uses the phrase "Keep pumping hard!"
10) Anyone who has left more than 3 comments on eurasiansurgeon’s bodyspace (hey the gals in good shape but read some of those comments and tell me they aren’t Schmoe worthy!"
NEED I SAY MORE! 
Ok, now everyone tell me how mean I am and about how they are not schmoes they just ‘admire hard work’. Yea buddy ok. You can admire a hard worker without leaving her 50 comments on her bodyspace per day.
And again, if you are married, then you are a piece of crap and the lowest form of Schmoe.
Carry on!
-Layne "Schmoe-less" Norton
February 5, 2009 at 9:58 pm
hahahahahaha thats real great! nice post!
February 5, 2009 at 10:02 pm
Oh Layne, this has got to be the most hysterical yet truthful post !!
February 5, 2009 at 10:04 pm
I’d laugh at your post, but I’m afraid my g-string will slip off my well-oiled body. I just wish my back and shoulder hair wouldn’t get so matted.
Seriously, fun post - keep pumping hard!
February 5, 2009 at 10:04 pm
That’s some funny stuff…
February 5, 2009 at 10:05 pm
I’m new on here, so not sure if it exists… but is there such thing as a chick SCHMOE? A SCHMANE or a SCHMILL or a SCHMARY maybe?
February 5, 2009 at 10:05 pm
LOL you hit it on the head and got me roll’n with this one. Great post even though I do a couple of things on this list… I call females "Bae" on here, in real life I call dudes bae also; I guess it’s a Louisiana thing. And I don’t say keep pump’n hard, I tell everyone males and females "Keep up all your hard work." or something to that point. Still loved the post, because I agree especially the married part.
February 5, 2009 at 10:05 pm
haha, nice one Paul!
February 5, 2009 at 10:07 pm
ha, it’s ok, so long as you don’t embody more than 3 of the traits of Schmoe-ness we will assume it is coincidence!
February 7, 2009 at 12:54 pm
That is so funny and true.
February 7, 2009 at 1:09 pm
ROFLMAO.
February 7, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Definately agree Layne, those guys are losers and being married is disgusting. i’m on here to get the best knowledge i can to get fit and be the best i can be, transform my body enough to one day compete.
February 7, 2009 at 9:14 pm
EDIT: I have found #11) quite simply just visit bubblebuttguy2’s profille: http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/bubblebuttguy2/
February 8, 2009 at 6:41 pm
Well, I love it! I like when they message you EVERYDAY. I mean how many nice comments can you come up with?!
6 and 8 are my personal favorite.
Great post lol
February 8, 2009 at 6:46 pm
Ava, you and Amy should copy this blog to your pages as certified SCHMOE-REPELLENT
Mwahahaahahaha
February 8, 2009 at 9:53 pm
Agreed. I use my blog to document my workouts and my meals. All this back and forth "hon" , "love yah" blah blah blah should be left for the dating games and dating websites not bodybuilding.com. Bodybuilding.com is about, yup you guessed it BODYBUILDING!
February 9, 2009 at 8:35 am
Someone needed to say that. Well done Layne!!
February 9, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Is it still ok to look at the top 6 photos every other day? lol
February 14, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Wow we get it, you don’t like flirting and you seem to be offended by anything even slightly sexual. I admit it’s a funny post but what happened to the informative and thought provoking Layne? Now it’s like an anti-sex, religious preacher blog. You yourself admit you were never popular etc. growing up, you almost sound angry now that you see other guys who, though making asses of themselves, are bold enough to just be openly sexual with whoever they want…. a little regretful that you were never able to do that perhaps? I mean it’s human nature, the ones who are all quiet and never flirt or do much else with the opposite sex is normally because they can’t due to a shy personality, not because they don’t want to It’s in a guys nature to hit on anything that moves, it promotes survival.. If you had been a really outgoing guy growing up and you were on the other side of the bullying and what not, I’m certain you’d be whistling a different tune.
February 14, 2009 at 9:06 pm
LOL if it makes you feel better trying to psycho-analyze me then more power to you. I’m comfortable in my own skin. I just find what people do on here disguisting. Especially the married pieces of crap that do it.
February 16, 2009 at 11:17 am
Awesome post! This is not e-harmony, it’s bodybuilding.com! This website provides so much information for those that are here for the right reasons, and not just visual stimulation. I primarily check out the ladies of bodyspace. When I see a female with my dream body, hell yeah I want to know more. I have had quite a few Schmoe’s myself. I had a repat offender that always PM’d me, never a comment. I finally had to play the mean card. One day it’s check out my stats, who would win if we were to arm wrestle, wow you are strong, what suggestions do you have, blah, blah, blah… Your respect for your wife is admirable! Nice read:-)
February 16, 2009 at 11:45 am
Mr. Schmoe is the type of Schmoe that tries to make himself feel better by psycho-analyzing everyone so that they question what is wrong and right. Not going to work on me pal, I’m comfortable in my own skin. I don’t have to justify doing the right thing.
February 16, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Nicolelleb, that guy must get around quite a bit. I have had those same PM’s.
-Great post!
February 16, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Simply put…post comp ‘roid rage.
February 16, 2009 at 3:28 pm
haha. nice comment from mr. anonymous poster. I’ve passed over a dozen drug tests but if you don’t think i’m natural I could really care less… since your an idiot anyway
February 16, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Mr. anonymous is prob. some fat ugly *** who wears a g-string,lol.
February 16, 2009 at 3:52 pm
This is a great post!! And SO true!! And to ‘Mr. Schmoe’… it shouldn’t be in ANYONE’S nature to "hit on anything that moves", especially on a site dedicated to fitness! (That response screams ‘desperate’ to everyone reading it).
April 3, 2009 at 8:49 am
we got a couple of those scmoe’s at the gym aswell it’s funny to watch from the cardio deck makes the session fly lol
April 27, 2009 at 2:37 pm
hahaha couldnt pick a fav outta the 10 since they are all apply.. sadly tho, thats all bodyspace has turned into schmoespace or what i like to now call clownspace.com
April 29, 2009 at 1:16 am
Hmmm…very informative and interested article. Well, Thanks for sharing Man, Keep It Up.
May 2, 2009 at 4:33 pm
so what you are saying is that potassium is bad in large amounts, got it! I drink alot of water already but havent noticed a change. I have a competition in 8 days should I go up to 3 galls a day?
May 4, 2009 at 4:28 pm
I just joined the BB community here & from the little I’ve seen so far, I couldn’t agree more. I joined this place to talk with like-minded people. The kind of people that would hold me accountable & help motivate me to reach my goals. Not to post fake pics and shamelessly hit on women (btw - my pet peev regarding others at the gym… IT’S NOT A SINGLES’ BAR).
May 9, 2009 at 10:08 pm
Completely agree, in fact for the women out there it has to be down right creepy to have the stalker schmoe you speak of taking aim at them. Great blog.
May 9, 2009 at 10:40 pm
It’s down right creepy to be a man out there with a stalker…
July 8, 2009 at 3:39 pm
hahaha I like this.. Very funny lol
July 16, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Wowwww, I was just thinking the same thing man. I’ve actually stopped going to this site because of all the stupid s**t I see on here. It has now become wannabefitnessmodel.com. I now just go to professionalmuscle because apparently, if you are over 6ft or over 200lbs, you aren’t "inspirational"….lol Oh yeah, the cleavage shots are great from the chicks, especially when right after that they leave a comment like; goals; trying to be the best mother I can be! haha I seriously want to s**t on most of the guys in the top 6 or whatever because of their extreme tool factor and their delusional lifting stats….anyway man I feel you! ha
July 16, 2009 at 11:10 pm
oh yeah and to add to my previous post, the videos are even better of these tools trying to become famous like driving to the gym thanking all their fans! Give me a break dude, you’re like 5′7", a buck and a half, and probably use lifting straps when using the legpress cause you think you look badass……clowns man
September 13, 2009 at 6:45 am
Brother, I fully agree with everything you just said, and with your other blogs. It’s one of the main reasons why I left this site. In fact, I’ve even left twice. LOL Thought maybe it would’ve changed. When I first signed up here years ago, it was all guys and girls who just wanted to lift weights, bust their ass and maybe even compete. Now, it seems anyone in a bikini craving attention, people asking for them to vote for this or that or promote themselves in everything that ISN’T bodybuilding related.
Seems to be more of a popularity contest. Now, there are some really great people on here that I’ve kept in contact with through other means, but it seems to be the majority are in the other category.
Keep doing what you’re doing, bro.
October 9, 2009 at 11:14 pm
lmao I like that! haha I agree man. Especially with the married men talkin it up with the ladies. Well at least I know what to call those kinda people now. lol And….I don’t really have words to describe BubbleButt’s page…HALF-page, really…I bailed
lol The only things runnin through my mind were "scary" and "WTF?!?". #7…thats not dilusional…thats just nasty. lol Keep doin what you do bro.
If the Schmoes hate, let ‘em hate…they jus mad cause they can’t compete! haha