Struggles
So, I have definitely been making some progress (I gained 2lbs!) and I think I see a little more muscle definition. I am definitely excited about this progress but, inevitably, I do get a little nervous from time to time about gaining weight. I am eating more, which makes sense because in order to gain muscle, I have to gain weight which will only come through eating… and I have been doing extremely well with that. I upped my calories to a level which promotes gain at a manageable rate. Already, with only 2 additional pounds, I feel sooo much better and my thinking is a lot more positive.
Whenever I look in the mirror I am happy with what I see because I am no longer literally skin and bones. I know my weight is still way too low but it is definitely scary to think that I need to gain more. I just have to keep that picture in my mind of how I looked at my worst. God, it was awful being in public and seeing everyone stare! My mom tells me I looked like I had cancer! That is my motivation. I just don’t understand why I fight with myself to make healthy choices when I know I do not ever want to look like that again! This is still going to be a fight except this time I have a clear and healthy head and am committed to my HEALTHY goals!
June 2, 2008 at 11:09 am
It is great to see that you are being honest about your weight concerns. I won’t pretend to be able to give advice to a women on this subject … I would just say that you are a beautiful girl, and you should trust the people around you that think you should gain a few pounds. I think your goal is around 105, right? That is a great starting goal to becoming more healthy. Good luck, Sandi
June 2, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Sandi,
Stay away from the scale
It is not your friend. Buy one of those bodyfat calipers…thier pretty cheap. Measure your body fat intead of your weight. Alsouse how your clothes fit you as a measure. The scale is an enemy for those of us who have struggled with an eating disorder. 
June 2, 2008 at 7:16 pm
Yeah, I don’t really weigh myself anymore. Maybe once every 2 weeks at the most… just to make sure I’m still on track. I did buy a pair of those calipers…. except I got a completely inaccurate reading because my body fat is so little!
June 5, 2008 at 3:08 am
Hello, well done on the weight gain, that is brilliant! I am fighting this battle with you so I know exactly how you feel!
Bodyfat scales are a no-no, I would only rely on how YOU feel, the scales will go up because we know muscle weighs more than fat, its my fear also, but we have to get over it, we both know we are underweight so lets do it! Good luck and well done again